Title: Under These Rocks and Stones

Author: Aeryn Sun

Email: willowrose_98@yahoo.com


Digging Out

Author's Notes: Damn, is this thing EVER going to end? NO! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! And again, any language errors are the fault of Alta Vista and not me.

~~~~~

"Welcome to the St. Franciscan Life Center, Samantha. I'm Sister Margaret. Why don't you have a seat so that we can talk?" the nun dressed in a drab brown habit suggested. Sam sighed and nodded as she took a seat.

She looked around the small room. Its walls were bare wood save for a few small pictures hanging in strategic places. There were large panel windows to her left letting the early afternoon sun stream in through the blinds and the room itself had a somewhat woodsy smell to it. It was comfortable and non-threatening, lacking in the usual antiseptic impersonal feel that Sam was used to. But any way you looked at it, Sam didn't want to be there.

She had reluctantly agreed to give the Center a try because Brooke had begged her to. Not asked, requested, or pleaded but out right begged her to go. Through her tears the blonde had explained how she was afraid of losing Sam, exposed her vulnerability and fears for Sam to see. She told the emotionally wounded brunette how she felt that Sam was drifting away from her and that she just wanted to hold on to her as tight as she could. Faced with such open honesty, Sam couldn't find it in her heart to say no to Brooke. If it would make the distraught blonde feel better, Sam would try just about anything.

"So, Sam…may I call you `Sam'? Or do you prefer Samantha?" Sister Margaret asked.

"Sam's fine. Samantha is too formal," Sam said quietly.

"All right then. Sam, can I get you anything? Coffee, tea, hot chocolate?" Sister Margaret offered. Sam shook her head.

"I'm fine," she said. Sister Margaret nodded.

"All right. Why don't we start with a little back history then? Have you ever been to a therapist before?" Sam snorted.

"I'd use the term `therapist' in a very loose sense, but yes, I have," she commented dryly.

"I take it that it didn't go well?"

"A horrible disaster would be an understatement," Sam retorted.

"Would you like to tell me about it?" Sister Margaret asked carefully.

"Not really, but I suppose I don't have much of a choice," Sam said, plainly irritated. Sister Margaret shook her head.

"Sam, I'm not the Gestapo. I'm not here to force information or a confession from you. I'm here to help you, if you want me to. I'm not going to force you to say or do or behave in anyway that is remotely uncomfortable for you." Sam eyed the nun suspiciously.

"So, I only have to say what I want to?" she asked. Sister Margaret nodded again.

"Right. Although if there is an issue that I think needs to be addressed I will try to shepherd us in that direction. But if you're not ready then we'll move on to something else." Sister Margaret watched as Sam visibly relaxed somewhat.

"So, you're not going to try and change me, `fix' me, or make me `normal'?"

"Sam, normal is a relative term open to personal interpretation. What's normal for one person may not be for another. So no, I'm not going to do any of those things. I'm here to help you deal with your anger and depression and hopefully find a way to be happy," Sister Margaret explained.

"OK," Sam said warily, still a bit suspicious. "I saw a shrink a while back when my Mom and Mike asked Brooke and I to go."

"Mike was going to be your stepfather, correct?" Sam nodded. "And Brooke is his daughter and…"

"My lover," Sam said without hesitation. She arched an eyebrow at the nun and gave her a lopsided smirk. "Does that bother you? That I'm gay?" Sister Margaret returned the arched eyebrow.

"Are you trying to shock me, Sam? Because you're going to have to do better than that to succeed. Trust me, there isn't anything that you can say that I haven't already heard."

"Besides," she continued. "My religious views or opinions hold no baring on your life. They are MY beliefs, not yours. And I will not push then upon you. That's not why you're here."

"OK, cool," Sam nodded. That made her feel a lot better.

"So your parents sent the two of you to therapy because of your relationship?"

"Yeah. And the guy wasn't interested in helping us. Neither were Mom or Mike. All they wanted was to change us, `fix' us. You know, stop our relationship because they felt it was wrong," Sam began.

"And that was hard for you," Sister Margaret supplied.

"Yes! I love Brooke with everything I am and yet here are my parental figures, the two people I'm supposed to look up to and learn from telling me that I'm wrong, evil, freakish. That hurt!"

"And it wasn't just that," Sam explained emotionally. "They didn't even take the time to TRY and understand what I feel for her. Not that they could. They couldn't even begin to comprehend the depth of what I feel for Brooke. I've loved her for so long but never thought…" she trailed off for a second and stared out the window.

"Never thought what, Sam?" Sister Margaret prompted softly when Sam was quiet for several minutes. Sam stared at her shoes as she answered.

"I never thought she'd ever love me back," she whispered as a lone tear raced down her cheek.

"Why's that, Sam?"

"Because…because she's Brooke," Sam sniffled with a shrug. "I never thought she'd see me that way and then it happened and then I lost it."

"You didn't lose it, Sam. From what I heard from Brooke when I spoke to her, it was taken from you," Sister Margaret soothed. "And she still loves you. Why don't you start from the beginning so that I can understand how we got to where you are right now?" Sam grabbed a tissue from the box beside her and took a deep breath.

"Well, it all really started one day after school when my friend Lily came to talk to me…"

**

"You missed a spot," Lily teased as Nicole helped her wash her car. Nicole looked up from her bucket of suds and frowned.

"Huh?" she asked, stopping and looking at Lily. Lily walked over and pointed to a spot to Nicole's left.

"Right there, you missed that spot," she pointed out. Nicole lowered her sunglasses and looked at the spot.

"I did not," she argued. "I scrubbed it good and AAAAARRRRRRGH!!! LILY!" she screamed as Lily hosed her in the back with the cold water. Lily giggled and took off running, hose in hand. Nicole glared at the giggling Latina.

"I'm going to get you for that," she warned lowly. Lily felt the hairs on the back of her neck stand up at the tone of Nicole's voice. She wasn't sure being caught would be such a bad thing but she put up a good chase. Eventually though, Nicole tackled her into the grass.

"Think you're funny, do ya?" Nicole taunted as she started to tickle the girl below her. Lily howled in laughter.

"Niki, stop," she begged between fits. "I can't breathe -giggle-(hic)"

"Say you're sorry," Nicole ordered as she laughed as well. "Then I'll let you go."

"(hic) `M s'ry, (hic)" Lily mumbled as the hiccups gained control. Nicole cocked her head to the side.

"I'm sorry? What was that? I couldn't quite understand you there."

"I'm sorry! I'm (hic) sorry!" Lily yelled still laughing.

"See? That's better," Nicole said, still sitting on Lily. "You all right?" she asked slightly concerned. Lily's face was red and tears streamed down her cheeks.

"I'm fine, Niki," she said happily.

"Good. I'm glad I didn't hurt you," Nicole said. She caressed the side of Lily's face. "Do you have any idea how much I missed you?" she asked, her voice lowering in tone as she spoke and sending tremors down Lily's spine. A slow smile spread across Lily's face and she started rubbing Nicole's thighs with her palms.

"As much as I missed you?" she responded.

"More," Nicole said as their lips brushed against one another. They stayed that way on the lawn, pressed together content for several minutes until a voice interrupted them.

"Lily! Muchacha! Qué usted está haciendo?" Lily's Uncle Alberto yelled from the doorway of the house. "El poner en una demostración para los vecinos?" he laughed. Nicole looked at Lily in question.

"He wants to know if we're putting on a show for the neighbors," Lily explained with a deep blush as she realized that her hands had wandered into Nicole's shorts and Nicole's had found their way up her tank top. Nicole looked at the position they were in and started laughing.

"Tell him, `yes, as a matter of fact we are'," she smiled devilishly. Lily looked back at her uncle.

"Sí, somos," she called. Alberto burst out laughing again and wandered back into the house shaking his head. Lily turned back to Nicole.

"Maybe we should take this inside," she whispered lowly. Nicole nodded.

"We really should get out of these wet clothes before we catch cold," she said logically. Lily nodded.

"Race you."

**

Sam sat on her bed with the notebook Sister Margaret had given her to keep as a journal.

(Like I really needed another journal, but whatever) she laughed to herself. She flipped to the second page and started writing.


Journal of Sam McPherson

I'm scared. Not that `frightened of the dark' scared either. I'm talking the `choke off your air, curl up under the covers and pretend the world doesn't exist' scared. The kind that makes you randomly shake and fidget because you're so anxious that something bad is going to happen or you're going to somehow fuck things up. That's me. Unintentionally intentionally sabotaging myself whenever things go my way. It's like I can't let myself be happy.

Not that this is technically my fault. No, I think I've finally gotten the fact that it's Mike's. I never meant for all this shit to happen. I never thought it would. I mean, I was serious when I told Sister Margaret that I never thought Brooke could love me. Call it low self-esteem, call it whatever you want but I could never see her falling for someone like me. Not that there's anything really wrong with me but…damn even in writing I can't say what I mean anymore.

I've always seen myself as damaged goods. Especially after my dad died. The girl with the missing piece, the hole in her heart. How could anyone love someone who was incapable of feeling the emotion herself? And then I realized somewhere around my sophomore year that I was gay. I had developed a deep crush on Brooke. I've never cared for anyone else. And then what I thought was a crush turned out to be love. I was scared then, that's why I fought so much with her. And when our parents got together, I thought that there was no way I could live that close to her and not say anything. But somehow, I swallowed my feelings and she never knew. At least until Lily spilled her guts.

Even then though, when Brooke came to me and said she had feelings…I didn't dare believe her. Can you imagine the pain and agony if she'd been lying or changed her mind? Again, I was SO scared. The thought of having that beautiful wonderful woman, only to lose her somehow. But she promised that it was real and that that wouldn't happen. But Mike MADE it happen. And my world fell apart.

Now, I'm scared of trying again. What if I lose her again? What if I can't get her back? I've had a taste of my heaven and now I'm in hell.


Sam was interrupted from her writing by her window sliding open. She looked up in surprise as Brooke slinked in the open passageway.

"What are you doing?" she asked with a giggle as Brooke brushed her hands off on her jeans. Brooke grinned.

"I had to see you. I'm `out to dinner' with Terri again. I could have used the front door but I thought this was more romantic," Brooke explained as she stood in the middle of Sam's room, her eyes slightly hooded as she stared at the brunette. "I even thought of doing the whole `Romeo and Juliet' routine. But then I remembered how that ended for them and figured, why tempt fate?"

"I'm glad to see you," Sam said as she put her notebook away.

"Me too," Brooke responded. "Whatcha got there?" she asked, pointing to the book. Sam shrugged.

"Just a journal for therapy."

"How'd that go?" Brooke walked a little closer and stood in front of Sam's sitting form, lacing her fingers in Sam's hands.

"Surprisingly well," Sam said, kissing the tips of Brooke's fingers. "You have beautiful hands," she said absently.

"You are beautiful," Brooke whispered while running one hand through Sam's long brown hair. "God, I miss you every night, Sammy." Sam leaned into the touch.

"I miss you too," she sighed. Brooke kneeled down in front of her lover moving her hands to the edges of Sam's shirt and teasing the skin underneath. Sam's eyes fluttered and she gasped at the wanted and missed touch.

"I'm here now, Sammy," Brooke said huskily. "Let's not waste the time."

**

Sam woke up to find Brooke still asleep, her head resting on the brunette's chest. Fear and panic flashed through Sam as she realized that the sun was streaming in through her window and the nearby clock read 7:17 AM.

"Shit! Brooke! Brooke, wake up!" she hissed at the sleeping blonde. Brooke sighed and grumbled before slowly opening her eyes. She looked directly up into Sam's panic-stricken countenance.

"What Sam? What's wrong?" she asked, instantly alarmed by the paleness of Sam's features and her wide eyes.

"Brooke, it's after 7 in the morning," Sam said as tears sprang to her eyes. It took a minute for Brooke to catch on. She scooted up Sam's body so that they were face to face.

"Sammy, calm down. It's OK," she tried to calm her quickly panicking girlfriend. Sam shook her head.

"He's going to kill us both! Brooke, your Dad is going to go ballistic!" Brooke stroked Sam's cheek and wiped away her tears.

"No he's not, Sam. Oh I should have told you last night when I got here. Calm down, Sammy. He's not going to know I was here," Brooke assured her. "He had to go out of town for the weekend and left me with Terri since there was no other choice. Trust me, he wasn't happy about it. But he thinks Terri is still staying at the motel and that that is where I'm staying. Since Terri still has the room under her name although she's staying here, if he calls, they'll take a message for us. Don't worry, Sam. Terri has it under control."

"Are you sure?" Sam asked in a tiny fear filled voice. The voice broke Brooke's heart as she nodded.

"Yes, love. I'm sure. I wouldn't have stayed all night if Terri hadn't told me that she'd handle everything. So relax and enjoy the company." Sam sighed and tried to get her heartbeat back under control.

"I'm sorry I panicked," she whispered as she closed her eyes again. Brooke curled up a little closer to her, her head on Sam's shoulder and rubbing slow circles on Sam's bare abdomen. She missed being able to reach out and touch Sam whenever she wanted to. There were some nights when she couldn't sleep because she craved Sam's presence so badly.

"It's totally understandable. I should have let you know what was going on when I got here last night. I was just so damn happy to see you…" Brooke explained. "I wish you weren't so afraid of him," she added softly. Sam leaned down and kissed the top of her head.

"I wish I didn't have reason to be," she responded. "But I'm so afraid that he's going to hurt you. I wouldn't be able to stand that." Sam shivered, making Brooke wrap her arms around her tightly.

"And I can't stand that he already hurt you," Brooke sighed burrowing her nose in the crook of Sam's neck. She loved the way Sam smelled. It was home to her.

"Move in with me," Sam blurted out suddenly. Brooke picked up her head again and looked down at Sam. Sam's eyes opened and focused on her.

"What?" Brooke arched an eyebrow both elated and confused by the question.

"Here, in this house. Move in with me," Sam repeated. Brooke smiled.

"I'd love to, Sammy, but you know that I can't. And you know why." Sam nodded.

"Someday?" Sam asked. Brooke kissed her deeply and then buried her face in Sam's neck again, kissing the pulse point she found there as well.

"Definitely. We'll find a way someday, Sammy. I promise."


Breaking Point

Summary: The bottom falls out and Mike’s true colors shine through.

Author’s Notes: There’s only cameos by Lily and Nic in this one.  Sorry.  And I further destroy the character of Mike here too.  Not so sorry.  LOL

~~~~~

Sam pulled the laces on her Adidas sneakers tight and took a deep breath.  It had been a while since she’d last jogged and she needed to get back into her routine.  She looked around her neighborhood; it was a little after 8 so it was quiet. Everyone was either at work or at school.  Sam had to admit that it was a nice neighborhood.  She and her mother had been welcomed with open arms.

“Going for a run, Spam?” Nicole asked as she headed to her brand new car, courtesy of her newly inherited trust fund.  She hadn’t been kidding when she said that it was a pretty penny.  There was little chance that she would ever have to work for a living thanks to her loving Nana.  The first thing she’s done was buy herself a car.  Now she was out hunting for just the right place for her and Lily.  Sam smirked at her.

“Morning to you too, Satan.  And yes, I am,” she shot back.  Sam had been pleasantly surprised.  Living with Nicole hadn’t turned out as bad as she anticipated and the formerly bitchy and self-centered blonde even paid Jane room and board for the room that she stayed in, which Jane never asked for.  Nicole had said that it was the least she could do to help.  Apparently without her mother’s influence to make her angry and bitter, Nicole wasn’t actually a half-bad individual. 

<At least things are working out for someone> Sam thought.

“Don’t strain yourself and pull a muscle or else Brookie might get upset,” Nic teased as she started her red 2002 BMW.

“Har har,” Sam stuck out her tongue at the car as it drove away.  She was in better spirits since she started seeing Sister Margaret twice a week.  Granted she had only seen the compassionate nun four times so far but having the opportunity to talk to someone outside of the situation was freeing to Sam.  She felt lighter somehow.

She popped Sheryl Crow’s new CD in her Walkman, gave her legs a final stretch and headed off at a slow pace.  She didn’t want to push it too hard since she was slightly out of practice.

With each footfall another chip fell off of Sam’s emotional barriers.  She was trying to free herself from within the fortress she’d built around herself.  And while she knew it couldn’t all happen in one day, at least now she was willing to work at it.

Sam hated the fact that she was so scared of Mike McQueen.  Waking up that morning with Brooke had shown Sam exactly how much power he still had over her life.  And it pissed her off.  She hated that someone else was lording over her like that; pulling her strings and making her dance.  She had never felt such overwhelming panic before and she never wanted to feel it again.

She was disturbed from her thoughts by a car horn frantically beeping behind her, cutting right through her music.  She slowed down and turned around while removing her earphones.

“What?” she shouted at the silver Saab. “I’m on the freaking sidewalk!”

“Sam!  Sam, I gotta talk to you, it’s an emergency!” Tyler Ross exclaimed as he leaned out the car window.  Sam knew what he was going to say before he spoke.

“Mike knows,” she whispered in horror.

“Listen, Sam, I’ve got bad news.  One of my dad’s friends saw us out the other night at the movies with Brooke and Cath and he told my dad.  He totally flipped and went nuts.  He’s demanding that I stop seeing Catherine and he’s on his way to Brooke’s dad’s office to tell him,” Tyler said in a rush. “I tried to call you at home but there was no answer.  I’m glad I found you.  You HAVE to warn her.”

Panic again froze Sam in place as she imagined Mike’s reaction to the news.  She started to hyperventilate as images of Mike taking his anger out on Brooke played through her mind.

“Sam?  SAM!” Tyler shouted to get her attention.  Sam shook herself back to reality.

“Shit, shit, shit.  Can you give me a lift to the school?” Sam asked, her voice trembling.  Tyler nodded.

“Of course.  Get in.”

**

Sam dashed down the hallway of the school, her sneakers squeaking on the linoleum floor as she frantically tried to remember Brooke’s schedule.  She knew it was either English or Math but couldn’t remember which given the rotating schedule.  She stopped in front of a row of lockers and took a deep breath.  The English hallway and the Math hallway were on opposite ends of the school so Sam knew she’d have to stop panicking if she wanted to find Brooke.

<OK, it’s Wednesday.  Second period.  With the rotation, Brooke will be in…ENGLISH!> She took off again at high speed for the English wing.  She slid to a halt in front of Mrs. Hiller’s room, banging on the door before she ripped it open.

“Ms McPherson! What is the meaning of this?” Mrs. Hiller huffed from the blackboard.

“Sam?” Brooke questioned as she turned in her seat to look at the flushed girl in the doorway.

“Brooke…need to…talk to…Brooke,” Sam panted as she tried to catch her breath.

“Do it on your own time, Ms McPherson.  You may no longer go to this school but Ms McQueen does.  Talk to her after school,” Mrs. Hiller advised condescendingly.  “And I suggest that you leave school property before someone has you removed.”

“Brooke, NOW,” Sam ordered, ignoring the teacher totally.  Brooke nodded, closed her book and stood up to leave.

“If you leave, Ms McQueen, expect a detention,” Mrs. Hiller threatened.

“Yeah, OK,” Brooke said absently, more concerned about Sam then anything else.

“And where do you think you’re going, Ms Esposito?”

“With her,” Lily said simply as she followed Brooke out.

“A week’s detention for you both!” Mrs. Hiller called after them.

“What’s wrong, Sam?” Brooke asked gently.  She had no idea why Sam would be there but whatever it was, it must be bad.  Sam was bright red, panting, bathed in sweat, and shaking like a leaf.  Her brown eyes were impossibly wide against her horribly unnaturally pale complexion.

“Gotta…tell you…” Sam kept panting.  She put her hands on her knees and bent over trying to catch her breath.

“Take it easy, Sammy, before you pass out,” Brooke advised.  Sam nodded and paused.

“Tyler, came and found me a little while ago.  One of his dad’s friends saw us out with him and Catherine the other night and ratted on us to Mr. Ross.  And now he’s going to your dad.  Brooke, he’s going to know everything!” Sam explained getting agitated again.

“Sam, calm down and start from the beginning,” Brooke said trying to soothe her upset girlfriend.  She didn’t like seeing Sam so upset because it scared her.  She put her arms on Sam’s shoulders and could feel the tremors rocking the other girl’s frame.  Now fear raced through Brooke.  She understood enough of what Sam had said to know the situation was bad and to feel Sam’s terror so tangible in her hands added to her own.

“I was out jogging and Tyler pulled up behind me,” Sam began slowly, slightly calmed by Brooke’s touch. “He said that one of his dad’s friends saw the four of us at the movie theater the other night.  He told Tyler’s dad, who went nuts on Tyler.  Now Mr. Ross is heading to your dad’s office to tell him everything.  Do you follow me?” Brooke paled.

“Oh my God,” Lily breathed as the consequences played out in her mind.  She could still see the scene from Terri’s house clearly and it made her shiver.

“Oh God, Sammy.  Now what do we do?” Brooke asked fearfully as nausea rose to the back of her throat and she pulled Sam in close.

“I don’t know,” Sam lamented. “We could run again,” she said hopefully.  Brooke pulled away and shook her head.  She stroked the side of Sam’s face with her knuckles.

“No, Sam.  It’s tempting but no.  As scared as I am, there’s no more running,” Brooke decided firmly.

“Then what, Brooke?” Sam snapped. “If he gets his hands on either of us…”

“Sammy, please stop assuming the worst,” Brooke pleaded.  Sam rolled her eyes. 

“How can I not, Brooke?  He went for you and Mom.  Broke a bone in my face while he was at it,” Brooke flinched at the words.  She traced said cheekbone with the tips of her fingers.

“How can I not worry about what he might do?  What he might be capable of?” Sam finished.

“Sam, he’s my dad.  I have to believe that there’s some good left in him,” Brooke argued softly.  Sam sighed.

“I know,” she relented. “But I’m scared.”

“Me too, love.  But please, let’s see what his reaction is before we panic.”

“OK,” Sam agreed reluctantly. “But if he so much as glares at you…”

“I’ll run, Sam.  I promise.  And to Hell with him.”

“Brooke, are you sure?” Lily asked, breaking her stunned silence.  Brooke gave her a sad look as she hugged Sam again.

“No, Lily.  No, I’m not.”

**

The Palace was eerily dark and quiet when Brooke walked in the door.  There wasn’t a single light on in the entire house, which struck her as odd.  Her heart thundered loudly in the dead silence as she dropped her bag by the door and walked into the living room.

She was petrified.  Despite her words to Sam otherwise, she doubted that there was any good left in her father.  If there were then he never would have acted the way that he had or done the horrible things that he had done.  Simply put he was a narrow-minded, angry little man.  And not at all the man Brooke once thought he was.

“You’re late,” Mike’s voice coming from the armchair behind her made Brooke jump a clean three feet.

“Jesus, Mike, you scared me,” she gasped.  She looked at her father, glowering at her dangerously as he swirled a glass of what Brooke guessed to be whiskey in his hand.

“A little early in the day to be drinking, isn’t it, Mike?” she asked, putting her hands on her hips and refusing to be intimidated.

“I am your father and you WILL address me as so,” Mike demanded in a growl.

“OK, Father,” Brooke stressed the word sarcastically.

<Oh well, in for a penny, in for a pound> she figured.

“Is what I heard true?” Mike asked.

“What did you hear?” Brooke answered his question with a question and heard him sigh.

“Have you been going behind my back and seeing…Sam,” he choked on her name. “While pretending to see Tyler Ross?”

“Yes, Dad,” Brooke replied honestly. “I have.” Mike sighed again and took a long swig from his glass.

“Why couldn’t you have just listened to what I said and done as you were told to?” he asked quietly.  Brooke frowned.  It wasn’t the reaction she had been expecting but she’d take it.

“Why couldn’t you have sat down and talked with me instead of trying to run my life the way you wanted to?” she asked in the same soft tone as she sat on the nearby couch.  Mike shook his head.

“You don’t understand.  I’m trying to do what’s right,” he began.

“No, Dad, you don’t understand.  I love her.  REALLY love her.  But you don’t want to see that.”

“It’s not love, Brooke.  It’s…it’s just wrong,” Mike insisted.

“What’s wrong, Dad?  Being gay or being in love with Sam?” Brooke asked.

“BOTH!” Mike yelled, suddenly throwing his glass across the room and making Brooke jump again.  The glass shattered against the wall splashing the liquid all over the rug.

“Geeze, no need to scream.  I’m sitting right here,” she mumbled.

“Brooke, being gay is not normal.  And you are the typical, all-American normal girl.  I know this because I raised you to be that way.  I don’t know why you feel this need for attention, which I know is the only reason you’re playing this game.”

“You still don’t get it,” Brooke sighed.

“Don’t interrupt me when I’m talking,” Mike snapped at her. “You’re only playing this game to get attention but you’re getting the wrong kind of attention.  It’s negative attention, Brooke.  People are thinking badly of you.  And me.”

“Is that what really bothers you about this whole thing, Dad?  You’re freaking reputation?” Brooke said exasperated. 

“Brooke, you are NOT gay!” Mike insisted.

“I am NOT having this fight again, Dad.  I AM gay.  I LOVE Sam!  Get over it or get out of my way!” Mike jumped to his feet, causing Brooke to involuntarily flinch and cower.

“DON’T SPEAK TO ME THAT WAY!” he screamed, his face contorted and red.  Seeing Brooke cowering on the couch snapped a little sense back into him and he took a deep breath to calm himself.

“I can’t deal with you being homosexual, Brooke.  I can’t,” he confessed finally.

“Why, Daddy?  I’m still me,” Brooke pointed out softly.  Mike shook his head.

“You aren’t my daughter.  Not if that’s how you’re going to live your life.” Tears started to stream down Brooke’s face.  As much as she despised him for the things he’d done, Mike was still her father and such rejection from her only parent stung.  It hurt almost more than her mother walking out on her when she was a child.

“Why are you making me chose between my family and my heart, Daddy?  It’s not fair,” she cried quietly.

“Life isn’t fair, Brooke.  It’s either right or it’s wrong and what you’re doing is wrong.  It’s my job as your parent to make sure you do what’s right,” Mike told her.

“Dad, if this is something that you can’t deal with, then why did you come and get me when I left for Texas?  Wouldn’t it have just been easier to let me go?” Mike shook his head and sighed.

“No, Brooke.  That was a wrong choice that you made that I had to fix for you.  That I am STILL trying to fix.  You tried to take the easy way out to get your own way and I won’t allow it.”

“But…”

“And now, this betrayal of my trust.  I let you date and have your life because I thought you understood the rules and the consequences if you broke them.  And now, this…” His voice send an unpleasant chill down Brooke’s spine and caused her heart to leap to her throat.  It wasn’t that she feared physical harm, but whatever was on his mind sounded like it might be disturbing.

“Then just let me leave, Daddy.  Let me get out of your life and have mine,” Brooke offered although the thought of cutting ties with her only parent broke her heart.  But he was making her chose and if it came right down to it, Brooke realized that she would chose Sam over her own father.  That realization gave her a lot of sudden clarity about her life.

“Looking for the easy way out again, are you, Brooke?” Mike sneered.  “Just like your mother,” he spat and Brooke’s breath caught in her throat.  Mike turned to her and looked at her with such a look of contempt and hatred that Brooke felt her world fall away from beneath her.

“Dad…”

“Mike…until I tell you otherwise, you will call me Mike,” Mike informed her rudely and Brooke felt her blood run cold.  Now he was scaring her and she wished Sam was with her for support and help.

“If you thought pulling this stunt meant that I was either A) going to throw you out of the house or; B) going to send you away, think again.  You WILL remain in this house and live by my rules until your eighteenth birthday.  At that point, you can do what the hell you want to.  I won’t give a fuck.  But until then, Brooke Elizabeth, I OWN you.  Do you understand me?” Mike growled, his voice rising in pitch and intensity as he spoke.  Brooke began to shake but at the same time, found herself insulted by his words.

“Excuse you?” she snapped before she could really stop herself.

<Good one, Brooke.  Further piss off the obviously unstable homophobe while you’re locked in the house alone with him.  Brilliant move> she scolded herself.

“You heard me.  You will do what I say, when I say and you WILL not talk back to me.  You WILL NOT see that immoral bitch you refer to as your girlfriend.  She somehow corrupted you to get what she wanted and you are not to even mention her for the remainder of your stay here.  You will also be tutored at home so that you can’t see your ‘friends’.  You will NOT leave this house without my express permission or me chaperoning you.  Simply put, when I say ‘jump’, you will ask ‘how high’.  Are we clear?”

“You have got to be joking!  That’s ridiculous,” Brooke scoffed.  Mike advanced on her dangerously.

“Don’t think that I won’t hit you, Brooke.  Your little threat to call the police or whatever doesn’t scare me anymore.  Besides, I can find a lot worse things to do to you than hit you,” Mike threatened.  Brooke arched an eyebrow.

“Yeah?  Like what?” she challenged.  She wasn’t going to give him the satisfaction of knowing how scared she was. Mike’s eyes narrowed.

“Don’t try me, little girl.  Haven’t you ever wondered why your mother REALLY left me?” he hinted.  Brooke frowned in confusion.

“And don’t even THINK about running away again.  Every time you do, I will drag your sorry ass back here and think of worse ways to punish you.  Don’t try me, Brooke.  You don’t want to see what I am really capable of.”


Doing Time at the Palace

Summary: Brooke's situation worsens and Nicole has doubts.

Author’s Notes: I have no idea when Brooke’s birthday is.  If they ever celebrated it on the show and I’m way off, sorry.  shrug

~~~~~

eman·ci·pa·tion: the act or process of emancipating

eman·ci·pate: 1: to free from restraint, control, or the power of another; especially: to free from bondage

2: to release from paternal care and responsibility and make sui juris

3: to free from any controlling influence (as traditional mores or beliefs)

<Well, that’s at least according to Merriam Webster> Brooke scoffed silently as she sat at her computer desk doing her homework a week after the last blow out with her dad.  And true to his word, she had not set foot outside the Palace without him as her assigned chaperone.  She had been pulled from Kennedy and now had a small army of highly expensive and well-trained tutors that came to the house on a strict schedule to teach her.  She felt like a prisoner in what used to be her home.  It was even to the point that she was having nightmares about her father forcing her to wear a drab white and black stripped jumpsuit so that she’d look that part.  She was seriously thinking of attempting to pull a ‘Fugitive’ while stuck in her own version of ‘O Brother Where Art Thou?’.

But every time she came close to slipping out of the house for good, her father’s last threat replayed itself in her mind.

<<“Don’t think that I won’t hit you, Brooke.  Your little threat to call the police or whatever doesn’t scare me anymore.  Besides, I can find a lot worse things to do to you than hit you,” Mike threatened.  Brooke arched an eyebrow.

“Yeah?  Like what?” she challenged.  She wasn’t going to give him the satisfaction of knowing how scared she was. Mike’s eyes narrowed.

“Don’t try me, little girl.  Haven’t you ever wondered why your mother REALLY left me?” he hinted.  Brooke frowned in confusion.

“And don’t even THINK about running away again.  Every time you do, I will drag your sorry ass back here and think of worse ways to punish you.  Don’t try me, Brooke.  You don’t want to see what I am really capable of.”>>

Brooke was really starting to wonder what he meant by that.  Why did her motherreally leave?  And what is Mike really capable of?  Her imagination was more than adequate in coming up with horrible images and ideas for that last one.  She couldn’t remember him ever being horrible or abusive growing up.  He always seemed to be on a somewhat even keel.  Yes, he got angry sometimes, but didn’t every parent?  She never thought anything about it.  Then came that night at her Aunt Terri’s when he went after Jane and then Brooke herself.  And Sam got in the way.  Brooke was no fool; she knew who her father’s intended targets were.  Sam was simply an innocent bystander who stepped into the path of a raging monster.  She never thought of her father that way until she saw the way that rage and fear twisted him.  He was no longer her father, but a stranger in his body.  She hated living with him.

Mike was running her life by a schedule now.  Meals were at a set time and if she missed them, she went hungry.   She was only allowed to watch TV at certain times and only certain shows.  ‘Wholesome television’, as Mike so eloquently put it.  She was woken up at a certain time and expected to get up and stay up until the time he scheduled her to go to bed.  He had rearranged her wardrobe to suit what he felt her image was.  Brooke was getting tired of looking ‘All-American/Amish’ day in and day out.  She wasn’t allowed to wear make up anymore either.  Mike had thrown all that in the garbage the day after their fight.  He had also disconnected her computer and telephone lines and she was only allowed to use the main telephone line when he was present to supervise her.  When he wasn’t home, there was always someone else in the Palace at all times to watch her and make sure she behaved.  It was like being 17 and having a Nanny.  Brooke felt trapped and like she was suffocating.

Mike barely spoke to Brooke except to issue orders for the day and Brooke hardly spoke back to him, in any way.  She had no use for the man.  She saw him as her jailer, her warden and barely tolerated him simply because she had to.  When she wasn’t cursing the man’s very existence, she was desperately wishing for Sam’s presence.  She missed Sam even more now, especially since she’d had the chance to steal time when her father was unaware.  Being cut off from her brunette love completely made her insides hurt, almost a physical pain.  And now she couldn’t even vent to Lily how much she missed Sam.  She was cut off completely from her support system, now just treading water and quickly going under.

Brooke threw her pen down with a muffled curse and stood up to stretch her legs.  She paced around her room, her cell, as she liked to think of it now and was suddenly overcome by a fit of anger.  She started to throw things, stuffed animals, pictures, anything within reach; watching as they hit the wall and some broke upon impact.  She flung her chair over and ranted incoherently about the injustice that was her life.  Her blankets flew across the room as she ripped her bed to shreds and her voice rose in pitch.  Every bit of pent up anger and frustration bubbled to the surface and spilled over as Brooke tore apart her room.  She punched, she kicked, she threw and flung everything that at anytime meant anything to her in every direction.  She didn’t care anymore.  She was so angry and so hurt that she had to lash out at something.

When she was done, nothing in her room remained standing.  Her bed was now nothing but a frame, now standing on its side besides the upturned computer desk.  Feathers and other particles of miscellaneous items floated in the air as she stood panting and spent in the middle of the chaos.  With a long sigh she sank to her knees and took in the damage as a clear mind returned to her.  And then, she poured all her longing and fear, her hurt and love for Sam into a long, loud scream.

“SSSSAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

**

Sam watched Brooke’s whole tantrum from her hiding place nearby.  She had a perfect view of Brooke’s bedroom window from the bushes across the lawn.  She heard Brooke’s scream and it made her chest hurt to hear such desperation coming from the girl she loved so much.

<Yup, missed my calling as a stalker> Sam thought ruefully.  She then sighed.  <Oh Brooke, I wish you weren’t so upset.  I wish there was a way to reach you, help you.  But if Mike catches me, I’m toast>

She’d heard from Lily how Brooke had been pulled from school.  And then Terri had come with the news that Brooke was barred from leaving the house without Mike chained to her side.  It disturbed her that Mike was keeping poor Brooke on such a short leash.  And she felt guilty too.  If she had just done SOMETHING, she figured things wouldn’t be so bad.

<I should have just kept my big mouth shut> Sam thought angrily. <Never said how I felt and then Mom and I would still be at the Palace and I would still be close to Brooke even if I didn’t have her love.  At least then Brooke would have her life and not be a prisoner.  There HAS to be a way to get her out of there, but how?>

She pondered this dilemma as she watched Brooke resolutely begin to pick up the mess in her room.  Unable to stop herself, she climbed the short tree to Brooke’s window with effortless grace and knocked quietly on the frame.  Brooke jumped at the slight rap and spun to face the window.  Upon seeing Sam, her face lit up in surprise and joy.  She strode over to the window and flung it open.

“SAM!” she whispered, throwing a cautious look over her shoulder to her door. “What are you doing here?” Sam smirked.

“I had to see you,” Sam said simply. “Brooke, I heard you scream.  Please don’t hurt like that,” she said softly.  Brooke reached out the window and touched Sam’s face gently.

“I can’t help it, Sammy.  I miss you so much and this is so unfair.  I HATE living here like this.” Sam tilted her head up and Brooke captured her lips in a passionate kiss. 

“I know,” Sam sighed after they broke apart.  She took in the damage done to Brooke’s room. “Nice mess,” she commented dryly.  Brooke looked around and then shrugged one shoulder.

“You like?  I’m thinking of redecorating it and calling it ‘Raging Teen’ or something equally as chic.” They both laughed.

“Brooke!  What is going on in there?” Mike’s voice carried through the hardwood door.  The girls exchanged panicked looks.

“Nothing, Dad!” Brooke called over her shoulder.  She turned back to Sam. “Go, Sammy, before he sees you.  You have no idea how far over the deep end he’s gone.”

“Will you be OK?” Sam asked, concern coloring her features as she started back down the tree.  Brooke nodded.

“Yes.  I’ll be fine, I promise.  I love you,” she added.  Sam scooted back up and kissed Brooke again before disappearing out of the window.

“I love you too,” she said with a smile. “And I’ll find a way to get you out of there, I promise.”

“I know you will, Sammy.  Now go, here he comes,” Brooke shooed her down the tree and shut the window just as Mike opened the door to her room.

“God, Mike, knock much?” she snapped at her father who glowered at her.

“I’m your father, I don’t have to knock.  All rooms in this house are mine and I can come and go as I see fit,” he said haughtily.  Brooke put her hands on her hips and tilted her head.

“Oh really?  And what if I’d been naked?  Or masturbating with pictures of Sam, naked in suggestive poses?” Her teeth rattled with the force behind the slap she received from her father.  And then her hand tingled from hitting him just as hard.  She didn’t know what shocked her more, that he hit her or that her automatic reaction wasn’t shock or hurt, but to hit him back.

“Don’t you EVER strike me again,” she growled lowly, her entire body trembling with anger and rage.  Mike was in a similar state.

“Don’t YOU ever speak to me that way and I won’t have reason to,” he responded.  He looked at the destruction around her room. “And clean this up before morning…or else.” He slammed the door behind him leaving Brooke alone again in her room.

**

“Excuse me, Mrs. Foster?” the receptionist knocked on the door and leaned her head in.  Kelly McQueen Foster looked up from the budget specks for the gallery and nodded.

“Yes?” she asked.

“You have a visitor.” Kelly nodded again.

“Send them in,” she said absently going back to the budget.  Fully expecting to see a city councilman standing before her when she looked back up, she jumped in mild surprise when she saw the dour, raven-haired teen in the door.

“Mrs. Foster?  Remember me, Sam McPherson?” Sam asked quietly.  Kelly frowned.

“Brooke’s friend and stepsister, right?” she responded.

“Yeah,” Sam said.

“What can I do for you?  You’re a long way from home,” Kelly pointed out putting the papers away and focusing on her visitor.  She knew something big had to be up for Sam to be standing in her doorway.  Besides, she had spoken to her sister Terri a bit not that long ago and knew things in her daughters life had changed somewhat.  But she and Terri weren’t on good terms so she hadn’t really been interested in returning her sister’s calls.  Sam shifted on her feet and bit her lip.

“I’m out of options and you’re the last thing I could think of.  We seriously need to talk about the state of your daughter’s welfare,” Sam said solemnly. “Because something’s got to give before things get worse.”

**

Nicole sat flipping through the offers and paperwork that went with buying a house and frowned.  Her mind just wasn’t on the big picture and kept wandering from the subject at hand.  She wanted to buy a really nice house for her and Lily but she was having small nagging doubts.  They were starting to drive her buggy.

She put the papers off to the side and put her head on the table for a minute.  Jane was helping her translate the real estate mumbo-jumbo so she had no doubt that in the end, she’d get the best deal.  Not that money was even a remote issue.  She had more than enough for 6 lifetimes.  No, that wasn’t what was bothering her.

<Is this really what Lily wants?> Nicole wondered while letting the cool surface of the table seep into her skin.  It was calming.

<I mean, she says it is.  But what if she’s just afraid of hurting my feelings?  I don’t want to buy a huge house to have her turn around and leave me alone in it.  A small apartment is all I personally need.  I don’t want to pressure her into something she’s not ready for.  I love her too much to do that to her.  I’d rather set her free than clip her wings>

“Penny for your thoughts,” Lily’s soft voice came from behind Nicole making her jump slightly.  She realized that she must have dozed off slightly to not hear Lily enter the room.

“Ah, I’m more expensive than that,” she joked back with a long stretch.  Lily grinned and leaned in for a kiss, which Nic was more than happy to provide her with.

“Name your price,” Lily purred as she pulled away.  She sat down and looked over at the papers on the table. “What’s that?” Nicole looked over at them and shrugged.

“Real estate crap.  Nothing to worry about.  I’m still shopping about,” she said quietly.  Lily’s face lit up.

“Are we still going to go look at those houses this weekend?” she asked excitedly.  Nicole arched a pale brow.

“If you still want to,” she responded nonchalantly.  Lily looked crestfallen. 

“Do YOU not want to?” Lily wondered softly.  Nicole could hear the undercurrents of hurt and confusion in the Latina’s voice and cringed.

“Oh, I still do, Love.  I just wonder if YOU do,” she tried to explain.  Lily looked at her obviously confused.

“Why would I not want to?  I don’t want to live with my uncle forever and I know you don’t want to live with the McPherson’s forever either,” Lily said.  Nicole nodded.

“But do you really want to live with ME?” she asked in a soft voice.  Lily got up from her seat and crouched down next to Nicole’s seat.

“I love you, Nicole.  Of course I want to live with you.  Why are you doubting that now?” she asked her blonde lover in a gentle voice.  Nicole lifted her face to look at her, tears stubbornly refusing to fall down her face as she spoke.

“You were in love with Sam.  That’s how this whole thing started.  But Sam loves Brooke and turned you down.  And then Brooke finally caught on to how she felt about Sam and you lost her for good.  And then I come along, your former enemy and I profess my love for you and you just fell into that.  How can I not have my doubts, Lily?  I love you, but how can you go from loving Sam, your friend, to loving me, your enemy?”

“Oh, Niki,” Lily sighed. “Brooke and Sam were once worst enemies too,” she pointed out. “And I didn’t just ‘fall’ into anything.  I had to get to know you first.  Get to know who Nicole was outside of the bitch you pretended to be.  And that took time and effort but you trusted me enough to let me see that person.  And the more I saw of her, the more I liked her.  The more beautiful a person she became to me.  Yes, I loved Sam.  I won’t lie to you, part of me probably still does and always will.  She’s my best friend.  But I also love you.  I am in love with you.” The tears rolled down Nicole’s face as Lily spoke and with each word, a bit more of Nicole’s insecurity was erased.  Lily brushed them away with her thumbs.

“I love you, Nicole.  I want to share a home, a life with YOU.  Not Sam,” she assured the petite blonde.  Nicole wrapped her arms around Lily and held on tight.

“Thank you,” she sobbed.

“I’d listen to her, Shorty,” Terri said from the doorway.  She’d accidentally overheard the whole thing as she walked over to the kitchen.  Both teens looked up at the tall blonde.

“You two have something special.  Hold on to it,” she advised.  The girls smiled and nodded.

“We won’t,” Nicole said firmly.  Jane walked into the kitchen and took in the scene.

“Are you harassing these two?” she asked Terri, a mock stern look on her face.  Terri put her hands up in surrender.

“Who me?  Never,” she defended herself. “Besides, I don’t harass, I orate.”

“Big word.  Hurt yourself?” Jane teased.  Terri stuck out her tongue while Nicole and Lily exchanged odd looks.  They watched the two adults exit the room and then shook their heads.

“NAHHHHH,” they chorused together.

**

Brooke examined the bruise on her face for several long minutes in the bathroom mirror.  Although it’d been days since the exchange with her father, the mark on her face was still stark and vibrant.  Since the phone was ‘out of order’ when her father wasn’t home, there was no way for Brooke to notify anyone about the incident and the tutors that came and went from the house were paid to ignore.  She thought it was a sad state of affairs when the persons supposedly watching out for today’s children could be bribed into silence even in this late day and age.

With a heavy sigh, she walked over to her desk calendar and flipped through to her ordained day of freedom, otherwise known as her 18th birthday.  The day, November 17th, was still 7 months away and she wasn’t sure she could survive the Wrath of Mike that long.  Survive without going AWOL or beating the man senseless with a frying pan was the question.  Option #2 was looking really good to her right now.

“Brooke, dinner,” Mike barked from behind her door.  Brooke sighed.

“Not hungry,” she responded.  The door opened and Mike walked in.  Brooke spun around and glared.

“Look, Mike would it kill you to give me a LITTLE personal privacy?  I’m obviously not going anywhere,” she snapped.

“I trusted you and we saw what you did with that trust.  How am I supposed to ever trust you again?” he retorted.  Brooke rolled her eyes.

“Whatever,” she sighed.  Mike walked over closer, invading Brooke’s personal space and making her nervous.

“Don’t take that tone with me, young lady,” he warned.  “You have been nothing but smart mouthed and disobedient since we made this little arrangement.  You’d better start learning how to cooperate with me.”  Brooke arched an eyebrow.

“Or what?  You’ll hit me again?  God, when exactly DID you turn into such an abusive asshole?” Mike raised his hand to hit her again but Brooke stubbornly refused to flinch.  She would not give him the satisfaction of knowing that she was scared.  Mike lowered his hand and leaned in even closer.

“Brooke,” he ground out slowly. “Up until now, we’ve gone your entire life without me ever having to get this way.  You always behaved, unlike your mother.  Everyone has a certain place in the world and sometimes they have to be taught where that place is.  Don’t make me have to teach you your place and how to behave like I did your mother.”  Brooke took a step away from her father and stared at him.

“Exactly what DID you do?” she finally asked, shivering slightly as her own imagination did the work for her and gave her ideas of what he could possibly mean.  Mike simply shrugged.

“I’d rather not talk about it.  And I really don’t want to have to demonstrate.  Let’s leave it at that.  Now, you are coming down to dinner.  Now,” he ordered.  Sighing in resignation, Brooke nodded.

“Lead the way, Adolph.”


Opportunity Knocks

Author's Notes: Mike gets more and more evil the more I write. EEK. Any discrepancies in the story are, well, mine but I loathe responsibility so blame Enron.

~~~~~~

"NAME-RANK-SERIAL NUMBER." Brooke blinked in confusion.

"Huh? Wha…?"

"NAME-RANK-SERIAL NUMBER," the metallic, unfeeling voice repeated. She looked around the small dark room but saw no one else with her.

"Uhm, do you mean me?" she asked.

"NAME-RANK-SERIAL NUMBER!" it demanded again. Brooke jumped and swallowed convulsively.

"Uhm, Brooke McQueen…rank? I don't know. Senior, I guess?" she tried to respond.

"SERIAL NUMBER." Brooke shrugged.

"I don't understand. Would that be my social security number?" she wondered.

"SERIAL NUMBER," it repeated. Brooke threw her hands up, annoyed.

"I don't know what you mean. Serial number? What is that?" she was starting to panic.

"SERIAL NUMBER," it was single minded and insistent.

"I can't give you an answer if I don't understand!" she cried, exasperated. She reached up to run a hand through her hair and saw it. Nine numbers tattooed into her skin.

"736-11-3591?" she read out loud. "What is that?"

"YOUR SERIAL NUMBER," it stated mater-of-factly. "You are prisoner 736-11-3591."

"WHAT?" she screeched. "What do you mean `prisoner'? Where am I?"

"You are here. There is no escape. You will do as you are told until such time as you serve your sentence or you die. Whichever comes first," she was told flatly. Scared and in a panic, Brooke started to cry.

"Who are you? Why are you doing this to me?" she sobbed, sinking to her knees in despair.

"I am your father," Mike said, emerging from the shadows. He looked eerie, almost possessed fixing his cold stare on Brooke. His eyes, formerly blue seemed to glow a hazy red to her.

"I believe I told you that you had some lessons to learn," he said menacingly, advancing on Brooke slowly. "And school is in." He reached out to her and Brooke felt her blood run cold. There was no mistaking his intentions towards her.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

~~~~~

Brooke bolted upright in her bed, temporarily confused. After a few minutes, she became aware of her surroundings and her thundering heart began to slow. She ran a trembling hand through her sweat dampened hair and realized that her entire body and therefore pajamas were also soaked with sweat. She looked at the clock and noticed that it was almost 6 anyway, so with a heavy sigh, she swung her legs over the side of the bed, grabbed some clean clothes and headed for the shower.

<I can't take much more of this> she thought as she adjusted the temperature of the water. <This captivity is turning me into a freaking headcase>

She stepped under the spray and tried to wash some of her uneasiness away. The water was hot, almost scalding and she liked the way it made her skin feel. Surpressing another shiver as she rethought her dream, she tried to think of something more pleasant. Her thoughts automatically drifted to Sam.

<God, I miss you Sammy> she thought with a sigh. She put her arms on the shower wall and rested her forehead against them as she thought.

<I didn't know I could care for someone so much…love someone so much it actually hurt. I always thought that was just an expression. Now I know that it's not. I love her so much I can't imagine my life without her in it. And without her with me right now, it's unbearable>

She turned off the water and stepped out to start drying.

<I don't understand who my father's become. I don't even know him. I never know what to expect. What if my nightmare comes true? What am I going to do?>

Cold fear gripped her for several seconds before she was able to regain control of her breathing. And in that moment, Brooke swore she'd kill her father before he EVER laid a hand on her like that. EVER.

**

Lily bounced with excitement as Nicole and Jane discussed closing details with the real estate broker in the next room. It wasn't that she wasn't interested, but she was so excited that she couldn't seem to sit still. SO instead she continued to tour what she hoped was going to be her and Nicole's new home.

It was a posh, roomy mansion in the most socially high-class area of Beverly Hills. It had gold faucets, red carpeted staircases, crystal chandeliers, the whole nine years. But it wasn't what attracted Lily and Nicole to it. They were attracted to the atrium on the first floor; the use of water and waterfalls throughout the house as a calming influence; the view outside overlooking the mountains; the hot tub and pool as well as the spacious yard were among the real drawing points.

Lily found herself again in the giant atrium, which was filled with all colors and species of plant life. The homes former owner was a botanist and all around plant enthusiast. Lily breathed deep, inhaling the aroma of the room, which was rich and heavenly. She loved it.

The house itself had a wonderful and lively history. It was built in the early 1900's by a carpenter as a gift to his wife and had stayed in the family until now. It had been built on and upgraded throughout the years, but never lost the original homey feel or the sense of love that went into building it. Only recently, the last member of the family, an elderly woman named Abigail had passed away peacefully in her sleep, leaving the house empty. Now it was a hot property on the market that Lily and Nicole were hoping to get.

"Meeeerrrow…" came from behind Lily making her jump. She turned to see a pair of yellow eyes watching her intently.

"Whoa, there little fella. You scared me," she said with a chuckle. She tried to get a better look at the cat, partially hidden by a fern but it shied away from her.

"Hey, I'm not going to hurt you," she cooed softly trying to draw the cat out.

"Meerrrow?" One white paw batted playfully at Lily's hand as she moved branches of the plant out of the way.

"Come on out so I can see you," she coaxed. The cat, not much older than a mature kitten, tried to pounce on her hand. It jumped and blinked at her when she laughed.

"You're a very pretty girl," Lily told the black, orange, and white Calico who seemed to preen at the words. It walked out farther to let Lily pet her and after a few minutes, she let Lily pick her up and settled down in the Latina's arms purring.

"I see you've found Triscuit," Brent, the broker said as he approached with Nicole and Jane.

"Actually, she found me," Lily explained.

"Well, no one else has been able to catch her since Abby died, so we've just been leaving food out for her," Brent said. "Must be a sign." Lily arched an eyebrow.

"A sign? Of what?"

"That you were meant to have this house," Brent said with a smile. "Right, Nicole?" Lily's eyes got wide and she looked to Nicole.

"Is that right, Nikki?" she asked in a whisper. Nicole grinned.

"If you still want it, love. The house is ours. Lock, stock, and barrel," she said. Lily squealed in happiness and raced to embrace her love. The mewing protest of Triscuit separated them.

"Oh, sorry, Triscuit," Lily sniffled. Nicole eyed the cat that was purring again and gently kneading Lily's chest.

"Hey, cat, back off. She's mine," Nicole warned.

**

Brooke hated mealtimes. All she really felt they were was a chance for Mike to sit and interrogate and/or harass her. There was no actual conversation taking place so much as a question and answer session. It wasn't all that great for her digestion. Spending ANY time with Mike turned her stomach really. He was so full of hatred and delusions that he frightened her at times.

"Pass the salt, please," Mike asked. Brooke silently complied. She found it better sometimes not to speak at all. It gave Mike nothing to work with. She returned to methodically chewing her food as Mike watched her.

"You're never going to speak to me again, are you?" he asked suddenly. Brooke frowned for a moment.

"No," she said flatly. She went back to her food.

"Why?"

"Because you don't talk, you preach, rant, order, and threaten. And you don't listen," she responded without looking up. Mike's response was cut short by the doorbell. He glared at Brooke.

"We're not done here," he warned.

"Whatever," she shrugged.

Mike left to answer the door with Brooke close behind. She never got to see anyone outside of Mike and her tutors and was desperate for some outside contact. The hairs on the back of her neck were standing on end and her skin was tingling but she wasn't sure why. Plus, she knew that Mike wasn't expecting any company.

"Good Lord, Kelly?" Mike gasped when he opened the door and saw his ex-wife and Brooke's mother Kelly standing there. She spared him a small smile but it lacked any warmth to qualify as friendly.

"Mike," she said politely in greeting. "Is Brooke home?"

"Mom?" Brooke asked astonished. She couldn't believe her mother was standing in the doorway. Kelly smiled warmly at her daughter.

"Hi honey. I'm in the area for a few gallery viewings and wanted to know if you wanted to spend some time with me," Kelly explained. "I know our relationship isn't the best but I'd like to try again to get to know you."

Brooke saw her way out, laid out before her almost like a gift on a shining golden platter. If she could go with Kelly, she could not only escape Mike but she could 1) see Sam; 2) report Mike and forever end his reign of horror; 3) stay with Sam and life would be good again. A huge smile spread across Brooke's face and she opened her mouth to scream `YES!'.

"No, she can't," Mike informed Kelly rudely. Kelly tilted her head slightly as she regarded her ex-husband.

"And why is that, Mike?" she asked sarcastically as Brooke tried to recover from the figurative kick to the ribs. Panic that Mike was about to steal her chance at escape was causing her to hyperventilate and make her dizzy.

<Please God> she prayed. <Let Kelly get me out of here. PLEASE>

"She's grounded," Mike growled, crossing his arms and looking stern. Kelly rolled her eyes.

"Come on, Mike. Don't be a dick. I don't visit that often. Let her come with me for a few days and she can finish her grounding when I bring her home," she reasoned.

"No," Mike shook his head, resolute. Kelly arched an eyebrow in challenge.

"Are you denying me my parental right to visitation as it is stated in our divorce papers?" she asked, her tone turning menacing. "Because if I remember correctly, the way we worked it out, you can't do just that. You have to let me see her when my schedule permits, providing that I don't interrupt or disrupt holiday plans. If you don't, then you forfeit, YOUR rights." Mike paled.

"But…" he stammered as he started to panic.

"Or we can go BACK to court and redo the whole custody thing," Kelly sighed. "AGAIN." Mike looked between the two women for a few minutes weighing his odds. He then glared at Brooke who was holding her breath waiting to see what he'd do.

"She can go. But I'm going to have a talk with her first. Wait in the living room, Kelly. We'll be right back," he snapped. Kelly nodded and Mike grabbed Brooke, dragging her up the stairs.

He slammed Brooke's bedroom door behind them, turning to his daughter barely in control of his fear and rage. Brooke eyed him fearfully.

"Let's get a few things straight, young lady," he snarled. "I HAVE to let you go with her, but if you say anything, ANYTHING about what's been going on around here, when I get my hands on you, you will regret the day you EVER took your first breath."

"Second, you stay the HELL away from Sam McPherson. I don't want to see or hear about you seeing her or talking to her and trust me, I have ways of knowing whether or not you do," he continued to threaten as Brooke packed a few things, shaking as she did so. Mike was so out of control that she was unsure she was going to get out of the house alive at this point. When she was done, she headed to the door. Mike used his bigger bulk to pin her against it.

"One more thing," he whispered, leaning in dangerously close. "You go to the police, Brooke, and it'll be the LAST thing you EVER do. Do you understand me?" Brooke nodded and refused to meet his eyes.

"And if YOU happen to forget, maybe I can remind Mac," he threatened. Brooke's stomach churned.

"No…" she croaked. Mike nodded, a cruel smile lighting up his face.

"Yes. Remember, Brooke, that I do have another daughter. If you can't obey me for your sake, think about her." Brooke swallowed the bile that rose up at the images of her father hurting a poor innocent and defenseless Mackenzie.

"I understand," she whispered, effectively silenced. She'd never let any harm come to Mac and she knew that Mike was aware of that. She's just been expertly emotionally blackmailed.

"Good. Remember what I told you and maybe this will all work out."

**

Brooke was stone quiet as she got into her mothers metallic blue Mercedes SUV and shut the door. Kelly looked over to her once in concern but said nothing. The blonde teen was sheet white and trembling. After Kelly drove about three blocks away from the Palace, she pulled over.

"Brooke, are you all right?" she asked. Brooke nodded mutely.

"Did your father hurt you?" Kelly asked quietly. Brooke looked up in surprise at the question and met her mother's eyes. There was a depth of pain there that she hadn't expected to see. A few tears slipped down her face but she shook her head no. Kelly nodded.

"OK, I just have one stop to make and then we'll get going, all right?" Brooke shrugged one shoulder and stared out the window as Kelly pulled back onto the road.

Kelly's stop was a 7-11 about five miles away. She turned to Brooke.

"I have to run in and get something. And would you mind getting in the back?" Brooke silently did as she was asked and slumped down into the seat.

She didn't know what to do. She wanted so badly to tell Kelly what was going on but she was incredibly afraid of her father. Not only for herself but for Mac too.

"Damn it," she swore in a whisper.

"OK, I'm back," Kelly chirped getting into the car. "I brought you a Slurpee." Brooke looked up for the drink but Kelly's hands were empty. She frowned at her mother. Kelly smiled.

"Open your door, Brooke," she instructed. Brooke's frown deepened but she opened the door.

"Grape Slurpee, Madame?" Sam asked as she stepped into view holding out the drink. Brooke stared at her in shock.

"Sam? How? What?" she stuttered. She looked at her mother. "What's going on here?" Sam climbed into the car, set down the drinks and hugged Brooke tightly.

"Sam came to San Fran and told me what was going on, Pumpkin. EVERYTHING," Kelly explained watching as her daughter relaxed into Sam's touch and started to cry. She was wary of the relationship between the two girls but was willing to give it time and see exactly what was what before she made up her mind.

"Sammy?" Brooke sobbed into Sam's neck. "You did that?" Sam kissed Brooke's temple in comfort and stroked the blonde's hair as she held her.

"Yes. I told you I was going to get you out of there, didn't I?" She nuzzled Brooke's hair, just happy to have her in her arms. "I went to your mom, told her what was going on and asked her for her help. Help that she's willing to give, Brooke." Brooke pulled away from Sam slightly and looked at her mother.

"I don't understand," she sniffled.

"I can't take you to San Francisco, with me, Brooke. I'm sorry but I'm still not the mother you need. Jane McPherson is. But I'm willing to do whatever I have to to get you away from your father. Whether you file for emancipation or try to get Jane to take custody of you or however the legal system works, I'll support you," Kelly explained.

"You're free, Brooke," Sam whispered. "You never have to go back." Brooke burst into fresh tears.

"But…" she started and stopped.

"'But' what, Brooke?" Sam prompted.

"Mac…" she said softly. Sam frowned and leaned down to catch Brooke's eye.

"What about Mac?" A sinking feeling had settled in Sam's stomach and her heart had started to pound. Brooke looked into Sam's rich chocolate eyes.

"He threatened her, Sammy. He said if I told anyone, he's take it out on her," she explained quietly. Sam paled.

"Jesus Christ," Kelly breathed. Anger and rage filled every cell of Sam's being.

"I'll kill him. I'll fucking kill him first," she swore.

"Girls, let's go to Jane's and tell her what's going on," Kelly said reasonably. "Then we'll figure things out from there. OK?" Both girls nodded and Kelly headed out of the parking lot.

"Thank you, Sammy," Brooke whispered settling into Sam's arms for the ride to Sam's house. Sam held onto her tightly.

"I only did what I had to to help you," Sam responded. "I love you and I'd do whatever it took. You know that." Brooke nodded against her.

"I know. But I also know it couldn't have been easy to go to Kelly and explain everything." Sam rolled her eyes.

"No, no it wasn't. There's a conversation I never want to have again," she giggled. Brooke got quiet again for a few minutes.

"It'll work out, won't it, Sam?" she asked, openly vulnerable and needing to be reassured. Sam kissed her gently and smiled.

"Yes. I promise it will. I'll make sure of it," Sam vowed.


Holding Pattern

Brooke lay curled up asleep on Sam’s chest as they lay on the couch.  It was the first safe sound sleep she’d had in weeks and Sam was more than happy to play body pillow for her.  The lines of stress and worry were mostly gone from Brooke’s face, Sam noticed as she slowly caressed the blonde’s cheek and stroked her hair.  Kelly walked in and covered the duo in a blanket, sharing a look with Sam.

“I’m glad to see she finally fell asleep,” Kelly commented as she sat down in the armchair nearby.  Sam nodded.

“She needs the rest,” she remarked.  Kelly eyed Sam critically.

“Quite a mess you two are caught up in,” she said shortly.  Sam sighed.

“I love her,” Sam said softly as she looked at the peacefully slumbering girl in her arms.  Brooke smiled in her sleep and snuggled closer, pressing her nose into Sam’s neck.  Kelly watched the display with a frown.

“But is it enough, Sam?” she asked. “I mean, look at all the pain and hurt that it’s caused, to everyone.  Look at the Hell poor Brooke has been through recently because of it.  How can you sit there and tell me that your love is worth all of that?”

Sam looked back up at Kelly, tears falling slowly from her soulful brown eyes.

“It is,” she whispered unable to say more.

“Kelly,” Terri said, her voice holding a warning tone as she entered the room. “Give poor Sam a break.  What she and Brooke have is solid and real.  It’s also something you don’t understand and have no right to judge.”

“I’m not judging,” Kelly said defensively. “I’m just concerned about my daughter’s welfare.”

“Yeah, right!” Terri scoffed. Her eyes turned cold as she regarded her sister.  “You weren’t so ‘concerned’ when you left her with that monster when she was 9.” Kelly paled and looked away.

“I knew he’d never harm her,” she said softly. “If I had doubted that, even for a second, Tia, I would have left her with Mom and Dad, not Mike.”

“Well, he DID hurt her,” Terri sneered. “Emotionally, mentally, AND physically.” Sam was quietly tracing the spot where Brooke had confessed Mike had hit her.  Tears still fell silently down her face as the two grown blondes argued around her.

“And I got her away from him as soon as I heard, Tia,” Kelly pointed out using Terri’s childhood nickname. “And we reported his ass.  He can’t hurt any of us ever again.”

After Kelly and Sam had picked up Brooke and returned to Sam’s house, Brooke had retreated to Sam’s room and refused to come out for two days.  Finally late one night, she’d broken down and told Sam about everything that Mike had said and done to her and how scared she was.  Sam was enraged that Mike had hit her but remained calm for Brooke.  She also convinced Brooke to go to the police the following day.  Mike was arrested on a host of charges ranging from abuse to risk of injury to a minor, unjust imprisonment, and threatening.  There were several restraining orders against him so despite the fact that he’s posted bond, he could go no where near any of them.  When Brooke had gone to retrieve her things at the Palace, several burly and mean looking police officers had protectively stood guard over her.  She truly was, for the moment, free.

“That may be true now, Kel, but the damage is already done,” Terri hissed protectively.  “How could you leave her with him in the first place?”

“Please stop,” Sam begged quietly but went unheard.  Kelly flinched at her sister’s question as if struck.

“I was young and scared, Tia,” she responded. “But I knew for all his rage, he’d never harm Brooke.  Hell, he never WOULD have if Sam…”

“Sam?  You’re going to blame poor Sam for this mess?” Terri asked aghast, her eyebrows hitting the top of her forehead.  “God, Kel, leave it to you to blame someone else for your mistakes.  Sam has done EVERYTHING on God’s green earth to help protect Brooke and keep her safe.  Even if it meant getting herself hurt.  Don’t stand there and give me any bullshit about this being Sam’s fault.”

“Terri!  Kelly!  Stop it!” Jane commanded as she was drawn into the room by the raised voices.  She looked at the desperate lost and hurt look on her daughter’s face and felt her heart break.  Sam and Brooke looked so fragile lying there on the couch.  Brooke, somehow, was still sound asleep but Sam was obviously being torn to emotional shreds.

“These two girls have been through enough without your bickering adding to it,” Jane added.  Both blondes looked suitably chastised.

“She’s lost weight,” Terri said sadly looking at Brooke.  Sam kissed the top of Brooke’s head.

“Stress,” Sam said simply. “We’ll put it back on her.”

“Maybe I should take her with me to San Francisco for awhile.  Just until things blow over,” Kelly suggested.  Panic and outright terror flashed across Sam’s face.  She wrapped her arms tighter around the sleeping form in her arms.

“Jesus Christ, Kelly,” Terri sighed, rubbing the bridge of her nose with her fingers. “That’s your answer to everything; run.  You can’t keep doing that forever and you can’t take Brooke with you.”

“I just think some distance and a chance to clear her head would do her some good,” Kelly argued.

“You’re not taking her anywhere,” Sam said quietly but with a firm strength.  The three adults turned their attention to the young brunette.

“I let Mike take her because I had no choice and it damn near destroyed us both,” she continued, her voice trembling with emotion. “And he hurt her, something I will never forgive him for or myself for letting happen.”

“Sam, it’s not your fault,” Jane interrupted.  Sam silenced her with a look.

“It’s also not my point,” Sam said flatly. “My point is, I let go of her once and it hurt us both.  No one, NOTHING is taking her from me again.” She stared pointedly at Kelly.

“Do you understand me?”  After a few moments, Kelly reluctantly nodded.

“I only want what’s best for my daughter, Sam,” she said quietly.

“You need to see, Kelly, that what’s best for me is Sammy,” Brooke’s voice rang out clearly surprising everyone.  She lifted her head slightly and kissed Sam lightly on the lips.

“You’re voice woke me,” she smiled at Sam, answering her lovers unasked question.  Sam smiled warmly back.  Brooke then turned her attention back to her biological mother.

“Kelly, I appreciate that you got me away from Mike and are willing to help me stay away from him.  But you need to accept that I love Sam, no holds barred.  I don’t know if it’s the gender thing that’s got you all hung up or what.  I know, I should have called or visited and told you that I was gay.  This isn’t the way you should have found out.”

“It isn’t that, really, Brooke,” Kelly shook her head.  Brooke frowned at her.

“Then what is it?”

“I know you think that this thing is real between you but you’re both so young.  How can you be so sure?” Kelly asked, doubt and disdain coloring her voice.

“Oh for crying out loud!” Terri exclaimed throwing her hands up and storming out of the room. “You’re a lost cause, Kelly!” she shouted behind her.

“Mom,” Brooke said evenly looking Kelly in the eyes. “I am sure.  WE are sure.  I’m pretty damn sure I’ve loved Sam from the first day I laid eyes on her.  Through this whole damn mess, the one thing that has kept me going is the thought of Sam.  My love for her and the love I know she has for me.  It’s kept me sane, alive.  I have never really been alone because I know that even when she’s not physically by my side, Sam is with me.  I’m sorry if you can’t understand or comprehend the depth of what I feel, what I hope she feels but, it IS real; it IS lasting and it IS all I need.” She finished with a long sigh and settled back into Sam’s arms.

“It IS how I feel,” Sam whispered to her.  Kelly pondered her daughter’s words.

“Pretty flowery words, Brooke.  I only hope they’re enough because things aren’t going to be easy.” Brooke shrugged.

“They never are.”

**

“OK, I think that’s the last box,” Nicole declared as the movers set down the last heavy Tupperware container.  “Thanks guys,” she said as she handed out generous tips.  The crew smiled and told Nicole and Lily that anytime they needed help moving to call.  It wasn’t every day that they were paid so well or treated to homemade lunch and lemonade.

“Good Lord,” Sam said melodramatically. “How can two people have so much sh…”

“Sam…” Brooke said lowly in warning but with a small smirk.

“Stuff?” Sam corrected herself hastily as she looked around. “I was going to say ‘stuff.’” All the furniture was in place and boxed were in the right rooms.  All that was left to do was unpack them.

“Gee, Sam, two teenage girls, one of whom is a Julian,” Lily laughed. “It shouldn’t be that much of a shock.”

“True,” Sam conceded. “And moving all of Brooke’s stuff out of the Palace was a chore too.  How you guys can accumulate so much…STUFF…is beyond me.”

“Says the pack-rat poster girl,” Nicole snorted. “Remember, Spam, I lived with you.  I know all your little hoarding secrets.” Sam acted horrified and then stuck her tongue out at her tormentor.  She then turned her attention to her own blonde love.

A shadow had passed over Brooke’s face at the reminder of having left her childhood home.  Sam understood her pain and wrapped her arms around her girlfriend.

“It’ll be all right.  I promise,” she vowed in a whisper into Brooke’s ear.  Brooke sighed and relaxed into Sam’s arms.  Sam always made her feel safe, comforted, loved.  She believed the things Sam told her.  She knew Sam would find a way to keep her promise.

“You OK, Brooke?” Nicole asked, seeing the downcast look on Brooke’s face.

“I was just thinking about how much our lives have changed,” Brooke said honestly.  “I mean, if you were to compare who we are now with who we were about a year ago, I think you’d have very different individuals.” She disengaged herself from Sam’s arms and sat down, still talking almost to herself and heedless of who was listening.

“It’s like we were all lined up in a row like dominos, close but not quite touching.  Then Lily went in to talk to Sam and confessed how she felt.  And it could have stopped right there.  No one else would have known; no other pieces would have been disturbed.  But, for whatever reason, I wanted to know if Sam wanted a ride home that day.  I stood in the door and listened to Lily’s confession and in turn, Sam’s.  And the reaction started.  Lily was like the head domino that started the whole chain reaction.”

“Great, make me feel guilty,” Lily complained quietly.  Nicole shushed her.

“Let her talk, she needs to get this out of her system,” the petite blonde advised.

“So, like, Lily fell into Sam, Sam fell into me,” Brooke continued still in her own bubble. “And our falling took down Nicole.  Then we just seemed to be able to watch the pattern spread.  We sucked all the other pieces down with us.  Our parents, our friends, our families.  It completely changed the environment we live in."

She fell silent, staring at the floor.  Sam walked over and kneeled down in front of her.

“That’s what love does, Brooke.  It changes you,” she said softly, lifting Brooke’s chin with her fingertips. “It makes you grow and become stronger.  And yes, it spreads to those around you.  The circle grows.  And maybe you lose some people along the way but you gain some too.  You lost your Dad, and I’m sorry about that, but your aunt is back in your life.  And now your mother is around too.  Maybe not in a ‘super supportive’ sense right now, but she’s there, Brooke.  That’s more than you had before.”

“And look at us, Brooke,” Lily added, indicating herself and Nicole. “We have our own home, a house.” Triscuit yowled pitifully from around her feet and Lily laughed as she picked her up.  “And we have Triscuit,” she giggled.

“Let’s not forget the furball,” Nicole rolled her eyes.  Triscuit hissed slightly at Nicole who hissed back.  The cat then hid in Lily’s arms. 

“My point is,” Lily broke in. “Stop that Niki,” she said as Nicole stalked the kitten in her arms. “My point is no one is where they were, Brooke.  But we’re all better off.  It’s all in how you look at it and if you sit there and only focus on the bad, you’ll miss the good.”

“She’s right, Brooke,” Nicole agreed as she scooped the protesting kitten from Lily’s arms and looked at it intently.  Triscuit took a playful swipe at Nicole’s nose.

“I don’t think she likes you,” Sam laughed.  Lily shook her head.

“Actually, that silly thing follows her around the house, sleeps at her feet and talks back at her.  It’s only when Nicole tries to pet her that Triscuit gets frisky,” she explained.

“Oh.”

“I can’t help hearing what my mom said, about it being worth it, Sammy,” Brooke spoke up again, drawing Sam’s attention back to her. 

“What do you mean, hon?” Sam asked.

“I mean, well, it IS worth it, Sammy.  I don’t doubt that.  But why does it have to be so hard?  Why do we have to fight so much?” her voice was small and childlike, confusion carrying through clearly as well as hurt and not a small bit of anger. “It’s not fair.”

“No, it’s not.  The road so far has been unfair and rough, Brooke.  But I love you and I’d go through whatever it takes to make sure you know that.  Mike, Kelly, my own mother, nothing would be able to stop me.  And eventually, Brooke, it will get easier.”

“I love you, Sammy.  I’m just so tired,” Brooke leaned her head against Sam’s shoulder.  Sam ran her hands through Brooke’s hair.

“I know, baby, I know,” Sam whispered.

“Sam, why don’t you take her upstairs to one of the spare bedrooms for a nap?” Lily suggested quietly.  Sam nodded.

“Yeah, I think I will.  Thanks.” Sam helped Brooke to her feet and guided her towards the stairs.

“One of us will come get you for dinner, OK?” Nicole asked.  Sam smiled at her.

“That’d be great,” she said. “Come on, Brooke.  Let’s go lay down.” Brooke mumbled her agreement and the duo disappeared up the stairs.

“Damn I want to kick Mike in the balls for what he’s done to her,” Nicole seethed after they were out of sight.  Triscuit had settled on her shoulder and was watching Lily.  Lily stroked the side of Nicole’s face.

“I know.  I want him to pay for everything he’s done too, Niki.  But that’s not what’s important right now.  Brooke’s hurting and helping her though that is what we need to concentrate on.  Sam is going to need our help to get Brooke over this whole thing.  And then through Mike’s trial and everything.  It’s going to get worse before it gets any better.”

“I know,” Nicole sighed. “But I can at least make sure that Brooke and Sam have the best lawyer money can buy,” she suggested.  Lily smiled.

“That’s one way you can help.  But remember money doesn’t solve every problem.  We need to be there if Sam and Brooke need us,” Lily reminded her. 

“We will be,” Nicole vowed.

**

“I’m sorry if I ruined your day,” Brooke apologized around a yawn as Sam pulled the covers up around them.  She snuggled against the blonde.

“You didn’t,” she assured her.  Brooke wrapped her arms around Sam, feeling as though the brunette was her security blanket.

“We weren’t much help to Nicole and Lily.  We’re supposed to be helping them move in,” Brooke pointed out.

“They understand, Brooke.  That’s why they’re our friends.  Besides, I’m sure there will be plenty of boxes left for us later,” Sam smirked.

“I’m just so tired, Sammy.  I just want to sleep,” she explained quietly.

“Then go ahead, Brooke,” Sam encouraged. “You’ve been through a lot.  You’ve been stressed to the maximum and now that has been lifted from you.  You’re safe now and your body is reacting to that.  This is normal.  And I understand, love.  So rest as much as you need to, I’ll be right here.” Brooke leaned over and kissed her understanding lover deeply, hoping to convey her love, gratitude and relief to Sam through the kiss.  Sam returned the kiss and wiped away the few stray tears that had slipped down Brooke’s face.

“Shhh, Brooke, sleep,” she whispered.  Brooke hugged her even tighter and closed her eyes.

“Thank you, Sammy.  I love you.”

“Love you too.”


The Dinner Party Pt.1

Before it’s bitter downfall, the McQueen/McPherson house was once known as the Palace.  Now, the Julian/Esposito home was known as the Villa.  While Sam’s mother’s house was still the main gathering place when they wanted to hang out and touch base with each other, Nicole and Lily’s home was where they all went to escape, to relax, and just be.  And tonight was going to be no exception.

The entire manor was decked out in shimmering shades of silver and gold.  Streamers, balloons, flowers, and other decorations adorned every possible spot making the lights dance and glitter around the room.  There was an army of decorators and caterers darting between the kitchen and various other rooms trying to get their appointed jobs done.   And they did all of this under the ever-watchful eyes of Nicole Julian.

She was anxious and jittery, desperately praying for everything to go right that night.  She and Lily were finally finished moving into the Villa so now they were throwing an extravagant housewarming party and inviting all their friends.  Along with Sam, Brooke, Jane, and Terri, the list also included Mary Cherry, Josh, Sugar Daddy, Carmen, Harrison, and George.  On top of the housewarming party, the whole thing was also going to once and for all settle all the rumors about what was truly going on.

<Hey, Mom, your debutante is finally having her ‘coming out’ party> Nicole snickered humorlessly.  <Although I seriously doubt this is what she had in mind> She then frowned due to the nausea turning her stomach.  She had a lot on her mind, a lot more than just the party and setting their friends straight about the relationship between her and Lily.  She was honestly scared to death about the other thing on her mind.  She figured Sam would have a good chuckle if she knew how petrified she was.

“Not that I’m going to tell her,” she muttered to herself.  She reached into her pocket and ran her fingers over the object carefully cradled in her pocket, drawing quiet strength and comfort from its presence.  She wasn’t sure if she was going to follow through on her plan, but it was there in case she did.  She was bound and determined to prove to those who still doubted it that, yes, Nicole Julian did have a heart and that she was capable of loving someone other than herself.

<And having that someone love me back> she smiled happily, thinking of Lily.  She never thought she’d be as lucky as she turned out to be and have the Latina care for her the way she did.  But she wasn’t going to look a gift horse in the mouth and vowed to hold on to Lily as long as the other girl would let her.

“Place looks fantastic, Nic,” Brooke said as she and Sam entered through the front door, breaking Nicole’s train of thought.

“Thanks,” Nicole answered turning to face the duo.  She was heartened to see Brooke looking marginally better than she had in recent weeks.  Her prolonged forced imprisonment at home by her father had had a dramatic effect on Brooke.  She’d become dangerously thin and somewhat withdrawn.  The rejection and blazing hatred she’d experienced from Mike had wounded her and left her raw.  Plus, being away from Sam, the person who held her heart and soul, had been a special form of torture that Nicole could relate to.  Her time at boarding school away from Lily had been nearly unbearable.

But now thankfully, since Brooke was out of the Palace and staying with Sam, she was looking and doing considerably better.  Sometimes it still surprised Nicole, that of all people, Sam McPherson was Brooke’s soul-mate.  But for all of Nicole’s ‘hatred’ of Sam, which was really just a rivalry with her, she had to admit Sam was good for Brooke.  She kept Brooke centered and anchored.  And Nicole knew as long as Brooke had Sam that Brooke would be all right.  Whatever else came their way, she was positive of that.

“Earth to Satan, come in Satan,” Sam’s voice shook Nicole from her wandering thoughts.  Nicole mock glared at Sam.

“I’m right here.  I hear you, Spam,” she responded haughtily.  Sam snickered as she wrapped her arms around Brooke’s waist from behind and nuzzled the blonde’s ear.

“So, how goes plans?” she asked as Brooke leaned into her arms almost purring.  Nicole rolled her eyes at their obvious sweetness and gestured around the room.

“So far so good,” she said simply.  “We’re ahead of schedule actually.  Providing that the cooks don’t burn anything, we’ll be ready by 6.”

“People should start arriving between 6:30 and 7, right?” Brooke asked, lacing her fingers with Sam’s.  Nicole nodded.

“Yeah, the invitations said that it was semi-formal dress and that dinner started at 7:15 SHARP.  Any stragglers ain’t getting in.  I made SURE Mary Cherry knew that arriving ‘fashionably late’ was unacceptable.”

“Where’s Lily while Admiral Julian is directing the troops?” Sam asked with a toothy grin.  Brooke giggled and Nicole stuck out her tongue.

“She wanted the perfect dress for tonight so she went out shopping.  She wants to surprise me,” Nicole shrugged. “Hell, she could wear a burlap sack and be beautiful but, whatever makes her happy, you know?”  Both of the other girls nodded.

“Yeah.  Our outfits are in the car.  We figured we’d get ready in one of the spare rooms,” Brooke explained.  Nicole sighed dramatically.

“Lily and I told you what rooms were YOURS.  As in: NOT spares but YOUR ROOMS.  What, was 7 rooms on the north wing not satisfactory?” she asked cheekily.  Brooke blushed.

“OK, we’ll get ready in OUR room later.  Happy?” Brooke corrected herself.  Nicole smiled and nodded.

“Very.”

**

The first people to arrive were Jane and Terri, promptly at 6:30.  Jane was in a white pants suit and Terri was wearing one in dark blue.  They were followed shortly afterward by Carmen dressed in a simple long gray skirt and white shirt; then Harrison in a plain black outfit (resembling a funeral mourner in Nicole’s opinion); and then Josh, George and Sugar Daddy all arrived in tuxedos.  The only difference in their outfits was the color of their ties, vests, and cummerbunds.  Josh was in red, Sugar Daddy in deep purple, and George’s was a cream color.  All that was missing, aside from Sam and Brooke who were upstairs and Lily who was waiting for the guests to arrive before entering to show off the outfit Nicole STILL hadn’t seen, was Mary Cherry.

Nicole, in her golden gown that shimmered when she moved, glared at the clock as it neared 7.

“If she’s late, I’ll tar and feather her eccentric ass,” Nicole muttered as Sam and Brooke came down the stairs.  She heard Josh and George let out low whistles at the two girls while Sugar Daddy could only manage a stunned ‘whoa’ at seeing them.

Somehow, Brooke had managed to get Sam into a dress, despite the brunette’s hatred of them.  It was deep burgandy velvet highlighted by satin in a lighter shade of the same color.  It was low cut, accentuating Sam’s bust line.  She was blushing almost as red as her dress at the whistles the guys were giving her and stopped on the stairs, half turned to retreat back up them.

“Keep going, Sammy.  You look fantastic,” Brooke nudged her back down the stairs from behind.  Brooke’s dress was cornflower blue, matching her eyes and had silver accents.  It was also low cut with a slit up the leg almost to a dangerously high level.  She’d had a job keeping Sam’s hands from wandering while they were trying to get ready, it was one of the reasons they were coming down the stairs as late as they were.

“Sammy, you look beautiful,” Jane sighed happily. “And Brooke, you look like an angel.” Both girls blushed darker shades of red under the praise.

“She’s right, Brooke,” Josh said in awe.  “I haven’t seen much of you lately.  I almost forgot how breathtaking you are.”  Just as Brooke opened her mouth to respond to her ex-boyfriend, the front door flew open and Mary Cherry burst in.

“Ah’m here, y’all!  Lit’s git this par-teeeee stahted!” She was actually dressed tastefully in a simple black dress with silver beads.  It surprised Nicole, and the others that Mary Cherry didn’t actually show up in a hot pink mini skirt and a glow in the dark, light up shirt.  Or something similar.

“OK, the gangs all here.  Except for Lily,” Nicole pointed out.  She looked at Brooke and Sam.  “Is she ready yet?” she asked nervously.  Brooke and Sam exchanged sly smiles that did nothing to allay Nicole’s fears, and then nodded.

“I’ll go get her,” Brooke said simply, disappearing up the stairs.  Nicole looked to Sam for some sort of clue but Sam only smiled cryptically and shrugged. 

“Ladies and gentlemen, I give you, Miss Lily Esposito,” Brooke said as she reached the bottom of the grand staircase again.  Everyone looked up to the top of the red carpeted stairs.  A collective gasp traveled through the group as Lily appeared at the top, lit by the crystal chandeliers.  She was a vision in shimmering silver.  Her dress seemed to shine in the light and change color like a prism capturing the light.  Her hair was pinned in a braid high on her head with tendrils and wisps of loose hair framing her face.  Nicole was speechless. 

“Breathe, Nicole,” Sam whispered in the stunned girl’s ear.  Nicole’s mouth opened and closed like a fish gasping for oxygen as she just continued to stare at Lily.  Lily looked at her shyly as she reached the bottom of the stairs.

“Niki?  Do you like it?” she asked quietly, ignoring everyone else in the room save for the girl she loved.  She spun around in place giving Nicole a 360 degree view of the dress. “Brooke helped me with my hair,” she added, blushing.

“You look…you look…God, Lily, you look beautiful,” Nicole finally managed when she regained her voice.  Lily walked over and hugged her.

“Thank you, Niki.  You look beautiful too,” she whispered.

“So, you two are an item?” Carmen asked what everyone who already didn’t know was thinking.  Nicole and Lily parted and looked at their assembled friends.

“I think it’s time for dinner,” Nicole announced.  “Everything will be explained then.”

**

Dinner was served by a small group of tuxedoed waiters.  Prime rib, lemon chicken, salads, French onion soup, fresh baked rolls, tofu and vegetarian dishes for Lily, and countless other foods graced the table.  Everyone helped themselves to as much as they could manage and the dinner conversation stayed light for the most part, no one wanting to ruin such an exquisite feast with a possibly tense discussion.  But eventually, over the desert of chocolate mousse, Harrison broke the calm.

“So, what exactly HAS been going on?” he asked.  “I mean, the four of you disappear, then get sent to the ends of the world to be kept apart but no one will SAY anything.  How about letting us, your FRIENDS, in on the whole deal.”

Nicole, Lily, Brooke, and Sam exchanged looks with each other and with Jane and Terri.  A few barely perceptible nods were exchanged and Lily cleared her throat.

“I guess I’ll start the story, since, like Brooke said a little while ago, technically this whole thing is my fault,” she gave a self-deprecating grin.

“I am gay,” she announced proudly.  “And I went to Sam to confess a crush…”

<<<"Sam, you remember the night that we were all locked in the Novac and forced, thanks to Nicole to reveal our deepest, darkest secrets?" Sam gave her a disgusted look.

"Yeah, very educational night. We learned that Brooke slept with Josh again, Nicole slept with Josh, Josh is a ho, Carmen kissed Josh, you kissed Carmen and Mary Cherry is actually an endangered waterfowl. So?" Lily smirked over how Sam had convienently glossed over her own secret but continued anyway.

"Well, endangered wildlife aside, Sam, a lot more went on in that room than I think you realize," now Sam looked confused.

"I'm in love with you, Sam. Deeply," she confessed just above a whisper. >>>

“And unfortunately at the time, or fortunately as it turns out,” Lily said with a snicker. “Sam did not react the way I wanted.” Sam nodded and took over from there.

“So, Lily confessed her crush on me but I didn’t feel the same.  I had someone else on my mind,” she explained.

<<<“But my heart is spoken for. Wholly and completely whether I like it or not," Sam said with a sigh.

"George," Lily said flatly with a hint of contempt in her voice. Sam let out a laugh that was more like a bark.

"Yeah, right," she scoffed sarcastically. "That's why I spend my Friday's at home nursing hot chocolate and watching bad TV movies and he's out dating his way through the junior class. We broke up a while ago, Lily. I think you might have missed that while you were `away'."

"If not George, than who?" Sam gave her a pained look.

"Not to rub it in, but same as you, someone and something I can never have," Sam said as a few tears fell down her face. Suddenly it smacked Lily between the eyes like a sledgehammer.

"Brooke," she whispered in awe. "You're in love with Brooke.">>>

“You have to hand it to Lily, she’s quick on the uptake,” Sam joked weakly.  “No one else, not even Brooke or my own mother had figured it out yet.  And here’s Lily, getting it right on the first try.”

“You’re gay too, Sam?” Carmen asked, somewhat shocked.  Sam nodded.

“Yup,” Sam said simply.

“So am I,” Brooke broke in.  “But I was seriously in denial.  Anyway, I overheard Lily and Sam talking and knew everything.  And after a slight phase of ‘OMG, this is not happening to me’ I realized that I love Sam too.”

“Which left me swinging in the breeze,” Lily piped up.  Nicole smiled.

“Not for long,” the petite blonde broke in. At everyone’s confused look at her, Nicole sighed.

“I’d had a deep crush on Lily for a LONG time.  And I decided to tell her.  She gave me a chance and got to know me, the REAL me. Not the bitch I pretended to be,” Nicole went on.

“So, wait, wait, wait…” Josh broke in.  “All four of you are gay?” Four heads nodded at him.

“Yes, we are.  And Sam loves Brooke, Brooke loves Sam, I love Lily and she loves me,” Nicole clarified.  “Everyone got that?  Because I can draw you a picture or go through it again slower if you need me too.”

“No, I think we’re straight, Nicole,” George said.  Then realizing what he’d said, he ducked his head. “Uhm…no pun intended.  Sorry.” There was a slight rumbling of snickers and giggles that rippled through the table.

“That’s OK, George, we understood,” Brooke assured him.

“So, issues aside, what else has been happening?” Carmen asked.  “Give us the whole story so that we can understand.”

So they began talking, explaining everything from their earliest dates to their parents bad reactions and their time on the road.  Mary Cherry added the information she knew from when she helped Nicole and Lily and Terri spoke up when appropriate.  It took nearly an hour and a half for the entire long story to be told but when they were finished, their audience sat stunned.

“Mike’s an ass,” Josh growled, the first to speak.  Then he looked over at Jane.  “Uhm, sorry, Mrs. McPherson.” Jane smiled at him.

“It’s OK, Josh, you’re right, he is,” she responded.

“Soooooo,” Sam said nervously. “This dinner party was to welcome Nicole and Lily into their home and let you all in on what’s been happening.”

“This is outrageous,” Harrison grumbled.  “All FOUR of you are gay?  Is it the water supply?”  Sugar Daddy glared at him.

“Shut up, little man, before I box your head in,” the normally kind SD warned. “If they’re happy what does it matter if they’re gay or straight?  It’s honestly none of OUR business who they sleep with.  Yo, they’re just respecting us and our friendship by being honest with us.  And if you have an issue with it, leave.” Harrison sunk down in his seat and stayed quiet.

“Thank you, Sugar Daddy,” Nicole smiled.  Sugar Daddy blushed.

“Well, I think it’s only fair to inform you all that there are actually FIVE people at this table who are gay,” he added quickly before he lost his nerve.

“WHAT?” chorused from around the table along with shocked expressions.

“I knew you were going to spill tonight,” Josh sighed.  Sugar Daddy shrugged at him.

“Well, YOU knew Josh and were fine with it.  I figured since the girls are so honest, I should be too, yo” he said.  He looked back at the crowd.  “Surprise?”

It took a few minutes for everyone to calm down from chattering excitedly to Sugar Daddy trying to get information.  He confessed that he knew for a while and that he had met a really nice guy named Nate at football camp over the summer.  Eventually, they returned to the saga of the girls.

“Wow…maybe it is the water,” George muttered with a small smile.  His face then grew serious. “Sam?” George looked at his former girlfriend.  Sam met his eyes and waited for him to explode in anger.  To her surprise, he simply smiled at her.

“I just want you to be happy, Sam,” he said quietly. “And if that means being with Brooke…I mean, it’s a lot to take in because I do care for you but, be who you are, Sam.  THAT’S what’s important.  And it’s all I’ve ever asked of you.”  Silent tears streamed down Sam’s face as she stood up.

“Thank you, George,” she cried giving him a tight hug which he returned.  Josh stood up, drawing attention to himself.  He looked at everyone and walked over to Brooke.

“I…” he started and stopped, gathering his thoughts. “I cared for you a lot, Brooke.  I still do.  You will always be special to me and I know that this took a lot for you to tell us, to tell me.  And you’ve already been through hell from what you’ve told us.  I won’t add to that, especially since I’m fine with this.  Like George said, I just want you to be happy.” He kissed her lightly on the cheek before returning to his seat. 

“Oh, and Sam?” he called to the brunette retaking her seat next to Brooke.

“Yeah Josh?”

“Take care of her.  Or I will find you,” he warned with a wink.  Sam and Brooke laughed.

“Carmen?” Lily asked.  Carmen had a somewhat glazed look on her face.  “Are you OK?”

“Oh my God!  All my best friends are lesbians and I’m the straight one!” Carmen started to giggle.  “I need a man, fast.  I’m jealous of you four.”

“OK, NOT the reaction I was thinking we’d get from you, Ferrera,” Nicole pointed out.  Carmen shrugged.

“You four just seem so damn happy.  How COULD I be mad or whatever?  Besides, we all know I’ve kissed Lily.  I AM straight but far be it from me to throw stones when I have wandered onto the Sapphic side of the street myself.”

“This is unbelievable,” Harrison mumbled.

“You came in through the front door, Harrison.  Feel free to leave back through it and don’t let it hit you in the ass on the way out,” Nicole snapped.  Harrison sat up straighter.

“No, it’s not that…I just…I…I need time but you’re my friends.  I don’t want to go but it’s a huge shock.  I just need time to deal.  I’m OK, honest,” he tried to explain.

“Than you can stay, Harrison.  Just be happy for us.  Can you try to do that?” Lily asked.  He looked at her and a small smile appeared to pull at the corners of his mouth.

“I can try.”


Section 6

Aeryn Sun

New Stories

Author & Genre

Main Index