Title: The Valerie Effect

Author: Alan Hitchen

Email: darkmere2000@yahoo.co.uk

Disclaimer: BtVS belongs to Joss Whedon and others

Pairing: Faith/Kate Cordelia/Angel

Rating: PG-13

Information: Sequel to The Buffy Effect


"Now," said Cordelia, "to relax after our meal, I think it's time to get out my scrapbooks. So I can fondly look back on my life and dreams of the past and reflect on how my life has developed since then."

Angel and Faith groaned.

"What? It's not like either of you has a scrapbook worth seeing, is it?"

"True," Faith admitted, "but some of us have lives we don't want reminding of, eh, Angel?"

Angel gave a wry smile in response.

"Speak for yourself," said Kate, lightly thumping Faith's shoulder. "I'd love to see your scrapbooks, Cordy."

Cordelia beamed at Kate; Faith and Angel cringed. Kate moved around to sit next to Cordelia as she opened the first book. After some hours (or what seemed like it to the others) Kate spotted something that caught her eye, a face that seemed to be familiar.

"Who's that?" she asked, stabbing her finger at a group photograph.

"That's Jenny Calendar, she used to be our computer-science teacher," Cordelia answered, slyly looking at Angel from the corner of her eye. He stiffened in response to the use of the name but otherwise did not react visibly.

Feigning disinterest, Cordelia asked casually, "Why do you ask?"

Sensing she was on uncertain ground, Kate said simply, "Oh, it's just that she looked like someone I once knew."

Later that evening, when Kate and Faith had finally managed to leave Cordelia's apartment, Faith asked Kate a question as they drove away.

"Who was that woman and how do you know her?"

"Jenny Calendar? Her, I don't know, but Valerie Barlow I do," Kate said cryptically.

"Huh?" Faith replied. "Who's Valerie Barlow?"

"The woman in the photograph, or her exact twin," said Kate. "Did you ever meet Jenny Calendar?" she continued.

"No, never even heard of her before today. Though she's met Angel, did you notice how he reacted?"

"Yes, I may not have your slayer senses, but I could feel his discomfort. Cordy knows about it, I could tell that as well. I wonder what it is?"

"I reckon I could wheedle it out of Cordy," said Faith confidently, "but what about Valerie?"

"Well, if you can hang on until we get home I'll tell you everything."

"Hang on? That's all I've done since we arrived for Cordy's dinner party," Faith complained. "I don't know what Angel sees in her. I bet she's making him do the dishes. Then she'll use him as a footstool while she watches the TV. And then she'll put him out with the cat," she said with a flourish.

Kate gave Faith a sidelong glance. "Easy, tiger, what's the problem? I'll admit that Cordy can be a bit full on at times, but she's got a good heart and Angel loves her, need I say more?"

"Sorry," said Faith, sporting a sheepish grin. "I'm just feeling a bit antsy. I haven't done any decent slaying for days and I guess it's getting to me."

"Mmm," Kate replied non-comittally. "Well, here we are, home sweet home."

Barely had they entered the apartment than Faith was pressing Kate for an explanation.

"So, who is Valerie Barlow?"

Kate sat down and looked up at Faith's enquiring face. "She was my first," she said simply.

"Oh," said Faith, suddenly deflated. "I thought I was."

Kate emitted a gentle laugh. "I don't know whether to be flattered or offended by that statement," she said. Then seeing Faith's hurt expression, she smiled and added, "I'm flattered."

She held out her hand to Faith and guided her to sit down next to her.

"She was my first. You are my second. I've already told you about the boys, but they never really counted."

"So, why not mention Valerie before?"

"I don't know, Faith, I don't know."

That is what she said. The truth was she did know. The question was, should she tell Faith?


Kate's stricken expression alarmed Faith.

"What's up?" she asked.

"I'm sorry, Faith. I just lied to you. I do know, but I don't want to tell you because... it's not just you who has a past to be ashamed of."

"Oh," said Faith, her curiosity piqued. "Why can't you tell me? You know I can't judge you. Whatever you've done, it can't be worse than my past."

Kate grimaced and shifted awkwardly on the couch. "I don't know. Perhaps it's worse," she said.

"Tell me. Please," Faith pleaded.

Kate took a deep breath. "Okay. Here goes. I'd just turned seventeen when I first met Valerie. She was an orphan living with her Uncle Henry who..." Kate scratched her head as she tried to think. "...well, I'm not sure what he did, but it involved moving around a lot. So Valerie had never stayed in one place for more than a few months at a time."

Kate paused, her face suffused with conflicting emotions.

"She was so lonely and desperate for company. Her uncle was always busy so she all but lived on her own. I was assigned to look after her at school, and almost before I knew what was happening she'd practically moved in with me and my family. Mom and Dad adored her. I was an only child and something of a loner. I'd never had a sister or a best friend, now I had both."

Kate grinned at the happy memory.

"Valerie had entered my life, and right from the start we were inseperable. After some months I realised something. That we weren't just friends anymore and that my feelings for her were far from sisterly. She felt the same way, but it was an unspoken thing between us. I guess we were both afraid that if one of us should voice our feelings it would ruin everything. But I couldn't resist her. It was like iron filings being drawn towards a magnet. I simply couldn't stop myself."

"What happened?"

"I kissed her. Then she kissed me. And one thing led to another and we ended up making love. Neither of us said a word that night. We didn't need words, we had each other."

"That's so sweet," Faith said insincerely, trying hard to hide her pangs of jealousy.

Kate didn't seem to notice this, she just smiled absently and went on, "Yeah, it was. Until the rumours started. We thought we were being discreet, but someone must have see something, because suddenly there was whispering and finger pointing. I'd never been one of the popular crowd, but being ignored was far better than being taunted by Alexis 'Lexy' Price and her coterie of hangers-on. Lexy was a 24 carat bitch if ever there was one."

Kate emitted a strange, brittle laugh.

"I saw her in a magazine recently. She's a regional organiser for the American Red Cross. Can't do enough for others these days. I need a drink," she said, suddenly getting to her feet.

"No, you don't," Faith said firmly. "Tell me about Lexy."

Kate sat down heavily. "I was backed into a corner by Lexy and her cronies. They were all getting at me, as they had done for days, when I... I..." Her head dropped along with her voice. "I said it."

"Said what?" Faith prompted.

"What they wanted to hear."

"Which was?"

"My denial of Valerie. I agreed with them that loving another woman was dirty and wrong. I said that I didn't love her, that we were only friends. I was different then. Shy and unconfident. I wanted to fit in, or at least not stand out. It's no excuse I know, but it's what happened."

Kate shuddered.

"The worse thing was that Valerie was there to hear it. She heard me denigrate everything we had together. The look she gave me. I didn't think it was possible to hurt someone so much without even touching them. But if I'd pounded my fists into her face I couldn't have hurt her any more than my words had done."

"And?"

"She never spoke to me again. Shortly after that her uncle had to move on and I never saw her again. I never said goodbye. I never said I was sorry. I never told her how much I loved her and how much I regretted what I'd done. She'd gone for good."

"Jeez, Kate, that's awful."

"You think I don't know that! You think I don't care!"

Kate lunged forward, grabbed the startled Faith, and pulled her close to kiss and cuddle her.

"Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. I'm older and wiser now. Well, older anyway. I want you to know I will NEVER deny you the way I denied Valerie. I love you and I don't care who knows it. What I feel for you is NOT wrong and no one can tell me it is."

"It's okay, Kate, really it is," Faith soothed her agitated girlfriend.

"No, it isn't. How could it be? I wish I could see her again. I want, no, need, to tell her how sorry I am. I can't take away the hurt, but I have to tell her."

"Do you know where she is now?" asked Faith.

"No, but I know where Jenny Calendar was. If she is the same person, I know where to start looking, don't I?"


"Are you going to ask Angel?" Faith enquired between mouthfuls of breakfast cereal.

"I don't know," Kate replied thoughtfully. "It's clear that something happened between him and Jenny in the past. Something he doesn't want to talk about. So I don't think a direct approach would work. He can stonewall like Jackson."

"I can pump C for ya," Faith volunteered.

Kate looked at the bright, eager face of her girlfriend. She had thought that Faith would be upset by this trip down bad memory lane, but far from it. If anything it had drawn them closer together. Faith actually enjoyed being the supportive one for a change.

"Thanks, hun, but let's not get ahead of ourselves. We still don't know if Jenny and Valerie are one and the same."

"Well, how are you going to find out if you don't ask anyone?" Faith complained.

"Duh! I'm a cop, remember? We have our methods," Kate replied, tapping the side of her nose confidentially.

Faith rolled her eyes at this, then she asked, "Why didn't you do this before?"

Kate froze, her coffee halfway to her lips. She put the cup down.

"I could say it was because regulations forbid the use of police resources for personal reasons. But the truth is... I'm afraid."

"Of what?"

"You once asked me if you ever stopped loving someone. I said, no, it diminishes with time but it never goes completely."

"Yeah, I remember, so?"

"So, I think the same is true for hate. I think Valerie hated me then and I think she still hates me now. I was afraid to face her then. I still am. I haven't changed a bit. I was a coward at seventeen and all these years later I'm still a coward."

"Kate, that's so not true."

"Isn't it?"

"No, it isn't. Look, you do your detective thing. You find her. You meet her. You say sorry. Okay, so she bawls you out. That's what you want isn't it? For her to shout and scream at you, to call you every name under the sun. It's the silence that hurts. The not knowing that eats into you. I know. I've been there. I've done that. It sucks," Faith said with feeling.

Kate nodded sadly and stared into her coffee cup. After a while she looked up again and forced a smile to reassure Faith.

"So, what are you doing today?" she asked.

"I thought I'd try hacking into the Initiative's computers," Faith said casually.

Kate was surprised. "Eh? Why and how would you be doing that?"

"Why? 'Cause of B's warning. How? Red sent me some special software."

"Red? Would this be the computer hacking friend of Buffy who hates your guts?"

"That's the one," Faith said with a self-satified smile.

Kate gave her a quizzical look.

"Okay, Blondie sent me the stuff," Faith admitted.

"Blondie?"

"Red's girlfriend."

Kate was going to ask why everyone but her and Angel had a nickname when she realised time was passing. She looked at her watch and groaned, she was late.

"Tell me later," she said, giving Faith a quick peck on the cheek. "I've gotta dash. Sorry, I can't do lunch. I've got my own hacking to do."

"Aww!" Faith protested, but it was too late, Kate had gone.


Somewhere under Sunnydale.

"Come in."

The soldier entered the room, came to attention in front of the desk and saluted.

"What is it, Maxwell?"

"Reporting an incursion to the computer system, Sir."

Colonel McNamara raised an eyebrow.

"Kids or Communists?"

"Neither, Sir. This was a professional hack. In and out with a specific aim, not a fishing expedition or a prank."

"I see. What were they looking for?"

"Two things, Sir. The Watchers Council and Faith McKenzie."

"Hmm. Did they find anything?"

"No, Sir. They only penetrated the outer firewall to reach the dummy site where there was nothing for them to find."

"Do you know where the hack originated?"

"Not exactly, Sir. They were using a sophisticated re-routing program and they didn't stay on-line long enough for a full trace, but we believe it originated in the LA area."

"Excellent. Does Major Watson know?"

"He has been informed, Sir."

"Good. Tell him to prepare an away team, then report to me. I don't know why the Brits want her, but I think it's time we moved her up the 'to do' list and paid Miss McKenzie a visit." 

 

Kate's apartment in LA.

Faith greeted Kate at the door with a welcoming kiss.

"So, how was your day?" Kate asked, smiling at her attentive girlfriend.

The Slayer's happy expression changed to one of frustration.

"A total bust," replied a clearly irritated Faith. "I couldn't get Red's program to work so I had to get C to do it for me. It was so humiliating. Anyway, when we finally got into the Initiative's system there was nothing about me or the Council. I think Giles's contact must have got it wrong."

"Let's hope so," replied Kate with relief. "I didn't know Cordy was a wiz with computers," she continued.

"Neither did I, but she is good. She says she was taught by the best, Jenny Calendar," Faith said with a distinct emphasis on the name.

Kate groaned. "What did you do?"

"Nothing," Faith said innocently. "Just asked a few harmless questions, that's all. As it happens, all I got out of C was that Jenny was a good teacher who suddenly left, and Red filled in for her pending a replacement."

"Suddenly left. That's an interesting choice of words," Kate mused.

"Why, do you know what really happened?"

"Yes."

"Do you know where she is?"

"Yes."

"Is she Valerie?"

Kate pulled a face and shepherded the eager brunette towards the couch.

"Sit down, Faith. I've got a lot to tell you.


Faith looked expectantly at Kate who was checking through her file of information.

"Well, what's the story?"

Kate looked up. "To begin at the beginning, there were three brothers."

"The Brothers Karamazov!" Faith interjected.

"What?"

"The Brothers Karamazov. It was a film on TV the other day."

Kate was knocked off her stride by this information. "You were watching an adaptation of Dostoevsky's classic novel?" she asked in amazement.

"No. The TV Guide said it was William Shatner's film debut. So I was watching it to see what his real hair looked like."

As soon as she'd said it they both started laughing, loud and long.

"Okay," said Kate at last, stifling her merriment and trying to get back on track. "There were three brothers: Enyos, Miklos and Cristos Kalderash. Born here, but of East-European Romany stock. The youngest, Cristos, married Katya. He was killed in a car crash soon after. Katya was six months pregnant at the time."

Faith's amused expression disappeared. "That's so sad," she said.

"It gets worse," Kate replied. "There were complications with the pregnancy. Katya died in childbirth."

"And the child?"

"Children. She died giving birth to twin girls, Janna and Velda. They were brought up by their grandparents until the age of ten, when they died of natural causes. A heart attack and broken heart respectively."

"This is no fairytale is it?"

"No, Faith. This is real life, where bad things happen all the time. Anyway, the brothers, Enyos and Miklos, took charge of the girls. Then something happened. They suddenly sold up and began to move around the country, but not together. Enyos took Janna. Then his movements were shadowed by Miklos and Velda."

"What were they doing?"

"I don't know. They moved about constantly and changed their names. You'd think they were trying to hide from someone. But I can't find any reason for this. It's as if they decided to take up their traditional travelling existance. But I've no idea why."

"You said they changed their names. So, Uncle Henry and Valerie..."

"Were Uncle Miklos and Velda."

"Hmm," Faith paused for thought, "and Enyos and Janna?"

"Enyos continued to move around while Janna, now Jenny, entered college, specialised in computer technology and trained as an educator. She ended up in Sunnydale High School. A highly qualified and popular teacher."

"So why did she suddenly leave?"

"She didn't. She died. Of a broken neck."

"An accident?"

"That's what the official report says, but I have my doubts."

"Why?"

"Because Uncle Enyos also died at the same time in Sunnydale."

"Another broken neck?"

"Broken everything. This was, to quote from 'Jaws' no "boating accident". This was extensive and systematic torture."

"You think what they were running away from caught up with them?"

"Possibly," Kate replied listlessly.

Neither of them had noticed the thin stream of white anaesthetic gas pouring through the keyhole into the apartment.

"So, what about Miklos and Velda - Valerie?" Faith asked drowsily. "What happened to them? Are they still alive?"

Kate did not answer, and soon Faith joined her in dreamless slumber as masked figures entered the room and surrounded their unconscious forms.


The white-coated figure entered the darkened room, closed the door, and switched on the light. The fluorescent tubes flickered fitfully into life, revealing Faith asleep on a cot. The woman retrieved a small aerosol from her pocket and sprayed it under Faith's nose. Almost immediately her eyes snapped open.

"W-What's going on?" Faith asked as her eyes focused on the unfamiliar ceiling.

"Lie still for a moment. The drug takes a while to work through your system, you'll be able to move soon," said a voice.

Faith turned her head to see where it was coming from. She was astonished by what she saw. A flood of mixed emotions clouded her recovering senses as she recognised the woman.

"Valerie!"

Valerie Barlow looked down at her identification tag dangling from her top pocket, which she assumed Faith had just read. "Yes, that's my name. What's yours?"

"Faith. But..."

"Good," Valerie interrupted. "Sometimes the anaesthetic affects the memory. We haven't got time for a chat. I've got to get you out of here, and quick!"

"Why?" asked the bemused Slayer.

"Do you want to spend the rest of your life as a drooling idiot or a remote-controlled action figure?"

"No."

"Then come with me," said Valerie, hauling Faith up off the bed, out of the door and down the corridor at a rate of knots.

"What's going on?" Faith asked again.

"Later," hissed Valerie. "We haven't got much time before the next security sweep."

They stopped in front of an elevator marked Emergency Exit Only. Valerie punched in a code before pressing the opening button.

"This overrides the alarms," she explained. The door opened and they got in.

"Can we talk now?" Faith asked as the door closed and the elevator began to rise.

"Yes," replied Valerie. "What do you want to know?"

"Oh, nothing much. Just what the hell is going on!" Faith exclaimed with undisguised annoyance. Just then the elevator stopped and the door opened.

"Follow me," Valerie commanded, sent the elevator back down, then sprinted off without a backward glance.

Faith looked around to gain her bearings. It was dawn. She was on Sunnydale U's campus, and Valerie was heading for the car park. She caught up with her as she unlocked her car.

"Get in," said Valerie as she shrugged off her labcoat and threw it in the back of the car. Faith did as she was asked, darkly muttering about her being as bossy as C. "Where do you want to go?" she asked Faith.

"Back home to LA would be nice," Faith replied sweetly, hoping that she could get her to meet Kate without giving anything away.

"Good choice. Let's get going and I'll explain."

Faith sighed. "At last."

"Your ex-employers are very keen to have you back under their control. So they contracted us to have you brought into safe-keeping for them."

A blase Faith yawned. "Yeah, yeah, this is old news."

Valerie looked at Faith in surprise. "Is it? Well, did you know what else they had planned for you?"

"No. What?"

"Our Professor Walsh was developing a chip to control the destructive impulses of demonic life-forms in order to render them harmless. The Council wanted you to be implanted with a modified chip so they could control you. That's if it worked. If it didn't you'd have ended up as a drooling idiot as I said."

"What?! Stop the car!"

"What for?"

"I'm going back to kick someone's ass!"

Valerie's response was to press harder on the gas pedal. "Don't be silly, Faith," she scolded.

"Jeez, you sound just like Kate," Faith complained. "Why did you rescue me?" she quickly added in order to cover this gaffe.

Luckily, Valerie was distracted by the need to enter the freeway and didn't seem to notice the reference to Kate.

"I've long had doubts about the direction of research that Professor Walsh initiated. Her death was a warning, but this was the last straw. Doctoring demons is one thing, human beings is quite another."

"Yeah. Well, you've got my vote. Won't these Initiative guys be after you though?"

"Not immediately. My two weeks vacation starts today. By the time they realise that I'm not coming back I'll be long gone."

Valerie paused and turned to smile at Faith. "So," she said, "next stop LA."


"Well, here we are," said Faith. She looked at her watch. "It's still early, do you think she is all right now?"

"Don't worry," Valerie replied, "the drug has worn off. Your girlfriend will have drifted into a natural sleep by now. As you say, it's early, I doubt she's woken up yet."

Reassured, Faith rang the doorbell as she had no key with her. After a while a groggy looking Kate opened the door. She regarded Faith blankly, wondering what she was doing and if it had anything to do with her spending the night on the couch. Then she looked at the person standing behind Faith and stared uncomprehendingly at a face she had never expected to see.

"Valerie," she croaked.

Valerie was equally astonished, she tapped Faith on the shoulder. "I thought you said your girlfriend was called Mary?"

"She is," said Faith, turning to shoot a mischievous grin at Valerie. "Katherine Mary Elizabeth Lockley. And you are Valerie Marie Barlow. Now, if we've got the introductions over with, can we go in?"

Faith ushered the two women into the apartment and bid them to sit down while she went to make some coffee. They sat down opposite each other in stunned silence until Kate attempted to speak.

"Valerie, I..."

"Don't," came the abrupt reply. Kate reacted as if she had been slapped, cheeks flushing bright red with shame. "I mean," Valerie continued in more measured tones, "there's no need to apologise. I know you're sorry for what you did and I've long forgiven you for it."

Kate looked perplexed so Valerie explained.

"I know exactly what pressure you were under, Lexy and her crew were bullying me too, remember? But no matter what, I would never have betrayed you. So when I heard you say those words. When I heard you say there was no love between us, that even the concept was dirty and wrong... Every word was a dagger in my heart. I had hoped you were lying, but then you kept your distance and didn't even attempt to say sorry. How I hated you then. I loved you with a passion I had never experienced before. I hated you with the same intensity. Then my uncle had move again and I thought it best to move on and forget you."

"Did you?" Kate asked in a low voice, her face racked with guilt.

"No. How could I ever forget my first love? No. I couldn't forget you. But I also realised I couldn't go on hating you either. If I had, and it would have been so easy, I would have destroyed myself and Lexy would have won. Anyway, I came to think perhaps it was my fault, that I'd let you down. I was the strong one, I should have given you more support. I shouldn't have let you get cornered like that. But I was just too late, wasn't I? I got there just in time to hear you say those things. I'm sorry, Kate. I'm so sorry."

She crossed over to where Kate was now gently sobbing. "It's okay," she soothed, "all forgiven, all forgotten, all in the past." She pulled out a handkerchief and dabbed away Kate's tears.

Faith observed all this through the partially open kitchen door, decided that this was the time to intervene and entered the room with a clatter of cups.

"Coffee!" she announced unnecessarily.

Valerie retreated back to her seat as Faith sat down next to Kate with a demeanour that clearly said 'hands off, she's mine'. Valerie responded with an understanding smile at Faith who returned the compliment.

"So," said Kate with a sniffle, "you're a scientist now?"

"Yes, a biochemist to be exact. Or should that be ex-biochemist. I don't think my employers will be giving me a glowing reference when they find out what I've done."

Kate didn't know what Valerie meant by that.  "You're working for the government," she stated.

"Yes." Valerie looked at Kate curiously. "How do you know so much about me?"

"I'm a detective with the LAPD. I did a little research. Faith made me do it," Kate replied, reaching out to squeeze Faith's hand and to smile at her attentive girlfriend.

"Well, your badge is no protection against the people I used to work for. They'll come after Faith again. Count on it."

Begining to understand that her sleep on the couch was not entirely natural, Kate began to think out loud.

"We've got a few friends that can help us if I can't get Faith some legal protection. Angel can hide her."

Angel," snapped Valerie. "Angel of Angel Investigations?"

"Yes, is there a problem?" Kate asked.

"You could say that," Valerie said with venom. "Angel, also known as Angelus, killed my sister, my uncle, my ancestors and a thousand others. Angel is well named, for he is the Angel of Death!"


Kate and Faith looked at each other, the sound of pennies dropping almost audible, as they realised what it was that Angel and Cordelia were so keen to hide from them.

"Didn't tell you that, did he? This 'friend' of yours, this vrykolaka."

"What?" they said in unison.

"Vrykolaka. It's what we call his kind in our language. You would call him a vampire."  Reacting to their unsurprised expressions, Valerie asked incredulously, "You know, and yet you still call him your friend? How is this possible?"

"Yeah, we know," Faith replied nonchalantly. "But he's not your standard issue vamp, this one's got a soul, and he's been good to me and Kate."

"I know about the soul. We gave it to him," Valerie said bitterly. "Our elders could have killed him, but they said it would be too quick, too easy, too painless. So we gave him his soul back instead. We understood he was a despicable individual even in life, but even the vilest, most base human could not fail to be revolted by the activities of the creature that had literally bathed in the blood of innocents."

"Well, it worked," Faith replied again. "I thought I was bad until he told me what he - what Angelus - had done. He compared himself to Atlas. He said the weight of the world was nothing compared to the weight of guilt and shame he carried."

"Good," Valerie stated with satisfaction.

"I don't understand this," Kate interjected. "Angel has a soul, he's sorry for what he did as a vampire, he's trying to make amends by opposing evil. Why would he kill Janna and Enyos?"

"My beloved sister and uncle," Valerie whimpered, pausing to wipe the tears from her eyes before continuing. "The ancient magicks we used were not completely binding," she explained. "If Angel achieved but a moment of true happiness then his soul would be released from its earthly bondage and Angelus would be free once more."

"It was B. Buffy loved him. She set him free," Faith whispered to Kate.

"Yes. Buffy Summers. The so-called Slayer. She was the one that released the creature and then refused to slay it," Valerie said scornfully. "Their blood lies on her hands also."

"What happened?" asked Kate.

"As decendants of the Kalderash clan it fell to our family to monitor Angel, to make sure his torment was perpetual. That is why Janna and I had to move about so much. Our uncles were following him as he wandered about the country. As females it was not our duty to carry out this task, but circumstance made this inevitable. That is why Janna studied the old ways and I studied the new sciences. We hoped that together we could fight the evil more effectively when it was time to do so. Together..."

Valerie's voice trailed off. Faith and Kate just sat in silent appreciation of her pain knowing nothing they could say would help.

"Anyway," Valerie sighed, "I joined Professor Walsh's team and Janna went to teach at Sunnydale and assist my uncles's work. This is when we learned of the Slayer and of her attraction to Angel. Janna tried to warn her but, distracted by romantic entanglements of her own, she failed to act in time. She was attempting to restore the soul to Angelus when he killed her and Enyos. Miklos was lucky, he survived. Later he thought Angelus had been destroyed by the Slayer."

"Oh, yeah, she killed him all right," said Faith. "But the dead don't die so easily. Not in Sunnydale anyhow. He came back. Then she hid him. I didn't meet him until that Post bitch played me into fighting him."

"You fought him? And you survived?" Valerie exclaimed in surprise.

"Yeah, didn't I say? I'm a Slayer too."

"What is this?! Be kind to serial killers week?!" Valerie said angrily. "Two Slayers, and neither one can bring herself to do her job?"

"Hey, that's not fair! Angel might have been a rotten man and an even worse vampire, but what he is now is pretty decent. He's constantly tormented by events of the past. He's trying his best to make up for what Angelus did. What more do you want?!"

"Let him tell me that! Let him justify his continued existance to my face!" Valerie retorted sourly.

"Okay," said Kate, "shouting at each other isn't solving anything. Where is your uncle now?" she asked.

"Here in LA, still keeping an eye on Angel."

"Good. Well then, you call him, and we will all meet at Angel's place. We need to sort this matter out once and for all."


Cordelia looked up from the latest issue of US weekly to greet the clients entering the office with her usual cheesy smile. She was disappointed to see some familiar faces instead of paying customers.

"Hi, Kate, Faith, Jenny... Jenny?!"

Cordelia goggled at the woman she knew to be dead and buried. As she spluttered and choked in complete surprise, Faith made the introductions on her behalf.

"Valerie, this is Cordelia Chase, aka Cordy, aka Delia, aka Queen C, aka C, aka..." Faith looked puzzled. "What do your friends call you, C?" Her face brightened. "Oh, yes, they don't call you at all, do they? Not since they found out you weren't a big Hollywood star anyway."

"Faith!" Kate warned her girlfriend.

"What? She isn't even listening, are you, C?" said Faith, trying to get Cordelia's attention by waving her hand in front of her face.

"Cordelia," was the automatic reponse to Valerie as Cordelia began to get a grip of herself. "And I heard every word you said," she shot at Faith while giving her a look that said 'please drop dead' but without the 'please'.

"Pleased to meet you, Cordelia," said Valerie, extending her hand for her to shake. "You knew my sister?"

Before Cordelia could reply her hand met Valerie's and a flood of jumbled images crashed into her brain, slamming her back into her chair.

"What's happening?" asked a very alarmed Valerie.

"It's okay," Kate replied, quickly going to Cordelia's aid. "She's a seer. She gets visions. It looks bad but it's just temporary."

"Second sight. She is greatly blessed," said Valerie.

"Not to hear her tell it," Faith replied while fetching some water for Cordelia. "A right royal pain in the ass is her description of it."

"Oh, oh, oh," Cordelia moaned.

"What is it, Cordy?" prompted Kate.

"The Initiative. Adam. Mayhem. Buffy. Defeat. Closedown."

"Can we have that again, with subtitles," asked Faith, handing the water to Kate.

Cordelia took a sip of the water before replying. "The Initiative base is attacked by demons led by a Frankenstein monster called Adam. They trash the place. Buffy and the others defeat him. The place is a wreck, the government close it down."

"When does this happen?" queried Valerie.

"Not sure. It's very close. It's either already happened, or is just about to, I don't know which."

"This is great!" announced Kate.

"Is it?" Cordelia replied with surprise.

"Yes. It means that Valerie and Faith are off the hook."

"If you say so," said Cordelia. "Now, if you don't mind, could someone please explain what is going on?"

"We've come to see Angel, could you call him?" Kate asked.

Cordelia looked at Kate pleadingly, her expression now reading 'please don't do this to him'.

"I'm sorry, Cordy but we have to do this," Kate said, reaching over to operate the intercom. "Angel, it's Kate. Can you come up? I have a visitor to see you."

"Okay, coming right up," was the short reply.

The lift clanked into operation and soon Angel was emerging from it. If it were possible the colour would have drained from his colourless complexion as he was frozen to the spot by the figure from the past he feared the most.

"Jenny," he said, not so much as a word but as a strangulated exhalation.

"You recognise the face. I'm flattered that you remembered it. There have been so many faces. So many victims. So many people who died at your hands. Or should that be fangs? Nothing to say? What's the matter? Cat got your tongue?" Valerie mocked.

"Valerie," said Kate.

Valerie shrugged off Kate's restraining arm while continuing to fix Angel with an unblinking stare.

"He killed my sister and my uncle!" she screamed. "Have I not the right to ask this thing why he still lives? Why he continues to stain God's clean earth with his presence? Why I should not stake him here and now and have my revenge?!"

Cordelia stepped forward to stand next to Angel. She took his hand in hers and spoke for him in clear and steady tones.

"He won't defend himself against you, so I will. Yes, Angelus killed your sister and your uncle and many more besides. But Angel is not Angelus, and whatever else he may be, he is is good man. A lesser person would have given up long ago. But he has shouldered the crucifying burden of Angelus's crimes and is trying his best to make amends for them."

"You! Unclean one!"

Everyone turned to face the source of the interruption just in time to see Miklos fire a crossbow bolt straight at Angel's heart. A fraction of a second later it buried itself deep into Cordelia's chest. Angel clutched at his beloved to prevent her falling.

"Why?" he asked in an agonised wail.

She looked at him kindly. "Because I love you," she said simply. Her voice trailed away, her eyes fluttered closed, her body went limp, and Cordelia Chase died in his arms with a smile on her lips.


As the others stood about frozen with shock, Kate's police training clicked into operation. She leapt forward and immediately checked Cordelia for signs of life.

"She's alive!" she burbled in delight as she found a thready pulse and shallow breathing. Noting that Wesley had just entered the room she yelled out, "Wes and Faith. Take Cordy to the hospital. NOW!"

They both sprang into action to carry Cordelia away as quickly and as carefully as possible. Rising to her feet, Kate approached Miklos and took the crossbow from his nerveless hands.

"I... I never meant to..." he said.

"Of course not," Kate said gently. "Come on, sit down before you fall down. You too, Valerie, and Angel. Angel?"

Angel was still kneeling on the floor, still cradling the body that was no longer there. He looked up at Kate as if he were a lost child and she was his mother.

"Delia?" he asked.

"She'll be all right," Kate said, hoping fervently that this was true. She held out her hand to Angel, helped him back on his feet then sat him down next to the others.

"Now, what are we to do about this?" Kate thought aloud.

"This is all my fault," said Valerie. "I wanted it to end, so I arranged with my uncle that I should have my say, then he would kill Angel and it would be over. I, we, never wanted anyone else to get hurt."

She shifted her gaze from Kate to Angel.

"I didn't know about Cordelia... She loves you. She defended you. She was willing to die for you. Does she know what you are? What you did? All of it?"

"Yes," Angel replied with disarming frankness. "She knows. I did everything I could to discourage her. But she loves me anyway and... I love her. Yes, I know what you're thinking. Look what happened when I allowed myself to love Buffy. We both know the consequences. We would not let it happen again."

"You can guarantee this?" Valerie asked.

"No, and to be honest, I wish you had killed me just then. As you say, I don't deserve to live, but she does. She deserves so much better than me."

"Look," Kate interrupted. "I think everyone can agree that there has been far too much death already. Valerie, Henry, would you agree that enough is enough? That it's time to put this behind you and get on with your lives?"

"This is my life," said Miklos. "This is my duty. I cannot relinquish it. But now I too have blood on my hands. This is a terrible thing," he moaned.

Just then the phone rang and Kate hurried to answer it.

"It's Wes," she informed the others. "They've just got Cordy to the emergency room. She regained consciousness on the way there. It looks like she's going to be all right. Uhuh. Thanks, Wes, we'll be there as soon as we can," she said, concluding the call.

"That was quick," Valerie observed.

Angel roused himself from his shocked torpor as the good news about Cordelia filtered through his dulled senses. "Meet you at the car," he said to Kate and quickly left the room.

Valerie stood up and touched Miklos on the shoulder. "Go down to the car and wait for me." He rose and did as she asked.

After he had gone she turned to Kate. "I'll take him home. As you said, enough is enough. Now that I've seen Angel in the flesh, seen his remorse. I have no more stomach for revenge. It's over."

She paused and moved closer to Kate.

"You know I never stopped loving you. I had hoped that one day we might meet again. That we would be together someday. Then I met Faith and she took me straight to you. But on the way she told me about her girlfriend. This wonderful woman who had taken her into her heart and loved her without reservation or reproach for her murky past."

Valerie grinned ruefully.

"Of course I didn't know it was you she was talking about. She loves you very much. She didn't say that directly, but she didn't need to. It shines out of her eyes. And you love her, I can see that in your eyes also. I am the past. She is the future. I wish you both every happiness. Goodbye, Kate."

She leaned forward and kissed Kate gently on the cheek. "I will always love you," she said.

"And I you, but..."

Valerie put her finger to Kate's lips. "But nothing. Go to your friend. Apologise to Cordelia for me. Go to the one you love. Kiss Faith for me."

She turned and walked away from Kate, with tears in her eyes, regret at what might have been, and love in her broken heart.


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