Missing

Email: BrokenLizard14@yahoo.com

Rating: G

Pairings: Andrew, Jonathon, and Warren.

Disclaimers: Buffy characters belongs to Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy Inc. 'Missing' lyrics belong to Evanescence.


Warren opened his eyes groggily. Flames danced in front of his eyes and he sat up quickly. His head throbbed. As he blinked his eyes the world came into focus. It was all dark. If not for the flames he wouldn't know where he was. This was where he belonged and he knew it. At least Andrew would notice that he wasn't there. Andrew would wake up in the morning and realize what was missing.

*Please, please forgive me*
*But I won't be home again*
*Maybe someday you'll have woke up*
*And barely conscious, you'll say to no one*
*Isn't something missing*

But why? Why would Andrew care what had happened to him? He still had Jonathon. They'd wake up in the morning and everything would be the same for them. They're his only friends and they've forgotten him. Why not? It wasn't like he'd ever cared for them. Not really.

*You won't cry for my absence I know*
*You forgot me long ago*
*Am I that unimportant*
*Am I so insignificant*
*Isn't something missing*
*Isn't someone missing me*

He'd been so cruel to them. Especially Andrew. Sweet, naive Andrew. Who'd only loved Warren. Trusted Warren. How could Warren have been so cruel? He'd teased Andrew about his feelings. "You know what homophobia really means about you, don't you?" It had been clearly, painfully obvious, the way he felt about Warren. And he'd been ridiculed for it.

*Even though I'd be sacrificed*
*You won't try for me, not now*
*Though I'd die to know you love me*
*I'm all alone*
*Isn't someone missing me*

Eternal damnation is very real, and Warren goes through it in the most painful of ways. Seeing something you want, more than anything, and knowing you can never have it. He sees Jonathon and Andrew. They fled Sunnydale, fled to Mexico. How could Warren have thought they'd be happy without him? They're both miserable. Jonathon lies in a bed, looking up at the ceiling. Wondering where Warren is now, and listening to Andrew's gentle crying from the floor. Andrew's curled into a corner. Not bothering to wipe the tears from his eyes. Why should he? The only person he ever loved is dead. Gone forever.

*Please, please forgive me*
*But I won't be home again*
*I know what you do to yourself*
*Shudder deep and cry out*
*Isn't something missing*
*Isn't someone missing me*

Now he knows the truth, now that it is too late. They both cared about him. Both loved him. Maybe not in the same way, but they loved him just the same. Soon enough they'll have forgotten him. Eventually they'll be happy together. But he'll go through eternal torment, knowing he had their love, and he lost it because of his own greed and his unwillingness to give his own heart away. He'll watch them everyday. He'll see Andrew stab Jonathon because he thinks it's what Warren wants. But for now Warren sleeps. And dreams of them.

*And I'll bleed, I'll bleed*
*Knowing you don't care*
*And if I sleep just to dream of you*
*And wake without you there*
*Isn't something missing*
*Isn't something....*


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