Title: The Curious Incident of the Chocolate in the Night-Time (Long Version)

Author: Geonn

Email: neil_j_miser@yahoo.com

Rating: Heavy R

Pairings: Sam/Janet

Category: Humor

Warnings: Sex involving food products. :D

Disclaimer: These folks don't belong to me. I stole them from MGM's toybox without asking their mommies for permission. I promise to return them more or less unscathed.

Archive: Yes, just let me know where it'll be.

Spoilers: None

Notes: Full-length version of a 100-word story I wrote for an LJ community. Title is a play on the title for "The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time" by Mark Haddon.

Summary: Janet does a little investigating.

She took the candy to the island of the kitchen and carefully pulled back the foil. She licked her lips and snapped off two segments, just like she'd promised herself, and ate it slowly. Savoring it. She sighed and licked her fingers, staring down at the remaining candy. She was already planning to buy Janet a whole new candy bar to replace this one. What would one more segment hurt? She snapped off another piece.

Finally, she groaned and ate the rest of the candy bar. No sense in further self-delusion.

She balled up the foil and the wrapper, mentally kicking herself, when the hallway light came on. She could see the glow it cast on the living room wall through the pass-through. She murmured a curse, then tossed the foil into the garbage. "Sam?" Janet said softly. "Are you down here?"

"In the kitchen," Sam said, furiously wiping at her lips and running her tongue over her teeth.

Janet walked in, not bothering to turn on the light. "Sam, honey," Janet said. Her hair was down and mussed, her long pajama shirt rumpled with sleep. Her bare legs stuck out from the bottom of the shirt creating a desire in Sam that surpassed her chocolate hunger. She licked her lips as Janet said, "What are you doing down here?"

"Couldn't sleep," Sam said, watching Janet as she walked past to the fridge. 'Please don't look,' Sam begged the back of her lover's head. As Janet opened the fridge door, Sam went to the other side of the island, wincing at the outburst she knew would come.

Janet peered into the fridge, then bent down slightly to look on the lower shelves. "Sam?" she asked. "Where's my candy bar?"

Sam said, "Um."

Janet turned and let the fridge door shut on it's own. "Sam?" Janet repeated.

"I don't know what you mean. What candy bar?"

"The fundraising candy bar I bought from that kid at Wal-Mart. I was saving it for a midnight snack and it's gone now." She approached the kitchen island, leaning forward against it. "So, what happened between ten and now?"

Sam shrugged slowly. "Maybe... Cassandra ate it?"

"Cassie went upstairs to bed before we did," Janet reminded her, arching her eyebrow.

"Um."

Janet came around the kitchen island. She took the lapel of Sam's pajama shirt in her hand, making a fist and pulling Sam down to her level. She kissed the blonde, long and hard, and coaxed her lips apart with an insistent tongue. Sam let down her guard for an instant, enjoying the kiss as simply a kiss, then realized what Janet was doing. When they broke apart, Janet's tongue made a journey over her lips. She arched both eyebrows and said, "Busted. What do you have to say for yourself?"

Sam put her hands on Janet's hips, sliding them down to feel Janet's ass through her pajama shirt. She squeezed and Janet looked down, as if to see what Sam was doing. Sam dropped a bit, her hands moving to Janet's thighs and tightening as Sam lifted. Janet 'whoooped!' as Sam plopped her on top of the kitchen island, spreading her knees apart. She stepped forward, between Janet's spread legs, and nuzzled the hollow of the brunette's neck.

"I say," Sam whispered against Janet-scented flesh, "bust me some more."

"Kitchen sex?" Janet asked, hands in Sam's hair.

Sam reached behind the doctor and nabbed a condiment. She stepped back and handed Janet the bottle of chocolate syrup. "You can still have your midnight snack."

---

Janet's head tilted back, her mouth open and her tongue extended slightly. Sam held the bottle over the brunette's mouth, squeezing a thin trail into her lover's mouth. She licked the excess from Janet's cheek and chin.

---

Brown-smeared hands covered Sam's breasts, darkening her pink nipples. Janet pursed her lips around the nipples until they were pink once again, a side-effect being that they were now painfully erect.

---

You can't have chocolate without whipped cream. Sam amended her grievous error a few minutes past one in the morning. Much more hijinks ensued.

---

Giggling, giddy and on a sugar high, the woman traisped upstairs holding their clothes in place over their nudity rather than redressing. Sam held Janet's hand as she led the shorter woman into the bedroom, trying to contain her laughter. She felt like a teenager. They kissed, both still tasting like chocolate to the other. Janet licked a sticky spot on Sam's shoulder. "You know, we probably put on a hundred pounds down there."

Sam lifted Janet again, bending the woman backwards so her head dangled towards the floor. Janet erupted in a fit, covering her mouth in a useless attempt to keep from waking Cassie. Sam put Janet down on the bed and said, "You seem light enough to me." She kissed Janet's foot, tickling the toe with her tongue. "The main problem here is we're sticky."

"Chocolate makes us sticky."

"Chocolate's not the only thing making us sticky..."

Janet laughed and rolled onto her side, burying her face in her pillow. Sam spanked her and Janet jumped. "God! God, what the hell are we doing?" Janet laughed, out of breath. "We're acting like a couple of teenagers!"

Sam climbed up Janet's body, offering her mouth for a kiss. Rather than the soul-searching kisses earlier, this one consisted of passion that had nothing to do with sex. Sam kept her eyes open, watching Janet. When they broke apart, Janet whispered, "We need to shower."

"I can't think of a better way to get unsticky."

"And as long as we're both in there, I know of a way we can work off the excess pounds."

Sam was all for exercise.