Title: The Amazingly Vast Properties and Possibilities of Denim

Author: Geonn

Email: neil_j_miser@yahoo.com

Rating: NC17

Pairings: Sam/Janet

Category: Humor

Website: www.realmoftheshadow.com/geonn.htm

WARNING: At work? Don't read it.

Disclaimer: These folks don't belong to me. I stole them from MGM's toybox without asking their mommies for permission. I promise to return them more or less unscathed.

Archive: Yes, just let me know where it'll be.

Notes: I got inspired for this by seeing Teryl in cut-off shorts at this website: http://www.intuitive-express.com.au/3-2-BOBW-Scrapbook.htm. Scroll down to the part about the prize giveaway.

Summary: Sam's distracted.

Sam stopped by with a beer for her and a six-pack of sodas for everyone else (Janet didn't like the alcohol) and let herself in through the side door of the garage. "Janet?" she called, leaving the drinks on the counter. "Janet, you here?"

"In the garden!" came the reply.

Sam moved through the kitchen, glancing at the mail laying on the counter as she stepped onto the wooden deck of Janet Fraiser's house. When Janet had bought the converted farmhouse, it had been a basic model. However, finding free time amidst her crazy schedule and raising a teenage daughter, she had found time to build a deck that surrounded the entire exterior of her house. The second part of the project was an intricate garden that was mostly located in the backyard. It was there that Sam found her friend. "Hey, Janet!" Sam waved, leaning over the bannister and looking into the garden. "Looks beautiful!"

"Thanks!" the doctor replied, brushing her hair out of her face with her wrist.

Little did the doctor know that Sam could've cared less about the flowers Janet was planting. The brunette was dressed in a pair of extremely flattering cutoff shorts, the frayed edges resting on a highly tanned thigh. Sam licked her lips and pulled a lawn chair closer to the edge of the deck, her alleged purpose being to rest her feet on the railing. She arranged the chair so she could converse easier with Janet, but the true purpose was to watch the woman work.

"So what's new at the base?" Janet asked, leaning forward to place a small cluster of violets at the end of a row. Janet had been on vacation for three days, therefore ensuring she was out of any new gossip loop.

Sam took a moment before answering, taking the time to enjoy Janet's form. The doctor was on all fours, one arm supporting her weight while the other patted down dirt around her newly placed flowers. Her breasts hung heavy against the blue sleeveless shirt she wore, the slightest curve of the doctor's chest visible through the armhole of her shirt. The denim of her shorts hugged her ass, the darker blue where the torn pockets had been straining against the curves of her hindquarters. "Uh," Sam managed. "Uh, everything's fine."

As Janet strained forward to adjust something on the plant, the back of her shorts bunched and rose, revealing enough of the doctor's shadowed lower back to see that there was nothing on underneath them. Sam leaned forward, her breath catching when she saw the top of Janet's crack.

'God,' Sam thought. 'It's just a butt... just a butt.' She looked back at the heart-shaped outline of Janet's rear. 'That is *not* just a butt,' she argued with herself. 'That's a *Janet* butt. And Janet legs. And...'

Janet leaned back, crossing her sneakered-feet at the ankles and resting her rear on them. She brushed her hands on her thighs, looking over her flowers. Sam's eyes again returned to the denim... wrinkled slightly in Janet's crotch, the already short legs bunched and revealed a sliver of untanned skin on either thigh. Sam swallowed and refused to notice the button was undone and hanging open.

Damn it, she noticed.

The fat muscle running down the center of Janet's thigh - Sam had heard the name a few times in the infirmary: the 'rectus femoris' - was flexed, standing out against the doctor's lovely skin. Janet rubbed it absently, then looked up at Sam. She shaded her eyes with one gloved hand and said, "Hey, wanna do me a favor? I have some lemonade in the fridge..."

"Got it," Sam said, jumping up. Anything to remove the temptation in the garden... 'Adam and Eve were lucky; all they had was a snake,' Sam thought as she went into the air-conditioned kitchen. 'Of course, Adam and Eve were naked to begin with. Man, if Janet gardened naked, I would be... now why the hell did I have to think of that?!'

She got the pitcher of lemonade out of the fridge and poured two glasses, a few ice cubes clinking into the glass. She picked them up and turned, almost dropping both glasses when she saw Janet standing right behind her. Her face was sheened with sweat, her long hair cemented to her forehead and chin. She smelled vaguely of sunscreen. Her cheeks were flushed and her face was devoid of any make-up whatsoever. She was gorgeous.

"Hey," the doctor said breathlessly. She took the glass from Sam and tilted it just enough that an ice cube was near the edge. She fished it out with two fingers and cupped it in her palm, running it over her throat. "God, it's scorching..."

Sam wasn't sure what was melting faster... the ice or her knees. Once Janet had completed a circuit of her neck and shoulders, she popped the ice cube into her mouth and chomped down on it. "Aren't you going to drink yours?" she asked, indicating Sam's lemonade.

The blonde looked at the glass in her hand, then downed it in one swallow.

Janet chuckled and took a drink of her own. "And I thought I was thirsty!"

Sam smirked and tried to take another drink, but all that remained was a small drip and the ice cubes. One cube slipped into her mouth just as Janet said, "I guess you're a little overheated, too." The cube slipped down Sam's tongue, the blonde unable to stop it due to her shock. It lodged against the back of her throat, blocking her air intake. She gasped and coughed violently, one hand moving to her chest.

"Sam?" Janet asked, worriedly. She put down her glass and moved around behind the blonde, pressing against her back and wrapping her arms around the taller woman's waist.

'Oh, God, no...' Sam thought, still unable to get the ice out of her throat. So Janet pulled back, pressing her body against Sam's back as her hands pressed into the blonde's midsection. The ice dislodged and Sam was able to breathe again... that is, she would've been if her body wasn't intimately pressed against Janet's. She leaned against the counter and took a deep breath as Janet moved to one side, her hand resting on Sam's shoulder. "Are you okay?" the doctor asked.

"No," Sam said, leaning in and kissing the doctor softly.

Janet had apparently smudged her lips with balm before going outside, leaving a cherry taste between the two women. Sam worked her tongue into Janet's mouth, her hands skimming the midriff that Janet's shirt revealed and resting just above the dimple of Janet's ass. The doctor moaned, her tongue flapping against Sam's bottom lip. When they broke apart, Janet licked her lips and rested her forehead against Sam's cheek and sighed heavily. "I thought we weren't going to do that anymore."

A few months earlier, they had capped a night of drinking with a fierce make-out session. It had shocked both of the women in the morning, but they continued to sneak loving, sweet, quick kisses whenever they could. Eventually, they had decided that it would be best to remain friends... becoming lovers could be too complicated.

Sam brushed Janet's hair and kissed the top of the other woman's head. "I know," she whispered, her eyes filling with tears. "And I swear, I didn't come over with an ulterior motive, you have to believe that..."

Janet shushed her. "I know... I know, Sam. It's partly my fault, with the lemonade and the shorts--"

"God, Janet, I would've been melting if I'd found you inside wearing a parka and overalls..."

Janet laughed. "So... what're we going to do?"

Sam hooked her fingers in Janet's belt loops and tugged them down to Janet's thighs. The doctor gasped, her open mouth caught by Sam in a passionate kiss. Janet put her hands on Sam's chest, the intent being to push her back, but she found the weight of Sam's breasts too inviting. She squeezed them, feeling the edge of Sam's bra under her fingers, and moaned into the blonde's mouth. "Mmm," she managed, pulling her lips away and panting, "Cassandra..."

Sam pulled her head away from licking Janet's throat. "Do not tell me you just called your daughter's name out..."

Janet laughed, "Noo... Cassandra is upstairs."

"Her bike isn't outside," Sam said, her hands finding and kneading Janet's asscheeks.

"Are you sure?"

"Believe me," Sam said, nipping Janet's earlobe. "I nearly hit that damn thing every time I pull into the driveway." She tightened her grip on Janet's ass and lifted the smaller woman effortlessly into her arms. She spun them and accidentally slammed Janet's back into the fridge, knocking a few magnets loose. "Oops," Sam giggled.

Janet wrapped one of her arms around Sam's neck and used the other to force her shorts down. They kissed again, Janet panting as she wrapped her now completely bare legs around Sam's midsection. She broke the kiss and rested her head on Sam's shoulder, thrusting against the Major's stomach. "God... I forgot how much I loved kissing you..." She punctuated this point by recapturing Sam's lips.

Sam moaned and slipped a hand between them, her first feel of the brunette's sex. Janet and Sam moaned in sync as Sam's index and middle finger found their way into the warm flesh. Janet gasped and leaned in, kissing Sam's earlobe before she hissed, "Take off all your fucking clothes..."

"Yes, ma'am," Sam said, untucking her shirt and tugging on her sweater. "Help me."

Janet's arms were shaking as she pulled Sam's sweater over her head, tossing it to the floor. Sam's hands undid her belt and Janet managed to push her pants down around her thighs. "On the floor," Janet breathed.

Sam pulled Janet away from the fridge, a few magnets holding report cards sliding to the floor. Janet laid on top of Sam, kissing the blonde as she straddled her stomach. Janet rose and peeled off her sleeveless shirt, revealing her breasts to Sam for the first time. The blonde had tears in her eyes as she stroked the other woman's chest, pausing to circle each nipple. "You're..."

"You are," Janet countered. She leaned down, licking Sam's cheek and following the trail of the tear back to Sam's eye. The blonde closed her eyes and Janet kissed each lid. "I've dreamt about this every night since we kissed..."

Sam pulled Janet's head down and kissed her again. "I can't get enough of you... I can't... get enough..."

"I'll never stop kissing you," Janet promised before diving in once more. Sam dug her fingers into Janet's ass, guiding the petite woman in her thrusts. The brunette's sex was rubbing intimately against Sam's stomach, leaving a small trail of wetness. Janet kissed away Sam's tears again and sat up, sliding down and scissoring her legs around the blonde's. "I've always wanted to try this," the brunette blushed. She scooted forward until they were intimately pressed together. Sam gasped and reached out, taking Janet's hand and rolling her hips.

"Oh, God," Sam whispered, her lower body moving like a finely-oiled machine in a direct mirror image of Janet. "Where'd you learn this?"

Janet blushed a deep red and lowered her head as she whispered, "Porn movie..."

Sam laughed and brought her free hand up, touching Janet's cheek. Her hand slid down and touched Janet's thigh. "I love your legs," Sam whispered. "You have such great legs..."

"B-between them," Janet said, her eyes closed.


"You know..." Janet growled.

"No," Sam smiled. "What?"

"My p-p... between my legs..."

Sam leaned back increasing her tempo. "Say it."


"Say it."

Janet grit her teeth and breathed, "My pussy... touch my pussy." A wave of red rolled from her stomach all the way to her hairline. Sam's hand moved from Janet's thigh to rest between their bodies. The heat was incredible, several degrees warmer than outside, it seemed. Sam curled her fingers and Janet moaned, falling back and hitting her head on the cabinet door. "Ow," she chuckled.

Sam laughed and pushed her fingers deeper. "How's that?"

"Perfect..." Janet moaned, stretching out on the floor. She cupped her one of her own breasts and said, "Perfect, Sam... perfect... oh, God, you can touch me harder... please..."

Sam did as instructed, releasing Janet's hand (which immediately joined the other in playing with her breasts). Pausing only to smooth her fingers over Janet's thigh, she used her free hand to find Janet's clitoris (a move Janet's husband hadn't attempted in three years of marriage). Janet whimpered and said, "I'm coming, Samantha."

Sam shivered and pulled herself away from Janet, turning herself around and fastening her mouth around Janet's sweet lips. The doctor cried out at the contact and came immediately, filling Sam's mouth with her juices. "Sam, Sam, Sam, Samantha, oh, my Sam, I love you..."

They both raised at that, eyes wide. Janet reached down, stroking Sam's cheek and whispered, "I do. I didn't just say it... I love you, Sam."

"Call me Samantha," the blonde said, sliding up Janet's body.

"Samantha," Janet whispered, kissing her lover and moving a hand between the taller woman's legs. "I love you, Samantha." Sam's knees rested on either side of Janet's body, supporting her weight against the corner of the kitchen counter. "Samantha." Sam put her hands up, holding onto the counter as Janet manipulated her with her fingers.

Janet looked up from her 'prison,' flanked on two sides by wooden cabinets and on the other by a naked, beautiful woman. She caught one of Sam's dangling breasts with her lips and sucked it wantonly, her tongue playing the nipple as her finger played the blonde's clit.

Sam came, moaning quietly and slowly collapsing against Janet. The doctor pressed her lips to Sam's throat, feeling the pulse slow to a quiet thunder. She licked her way up to Sam's ear and said, "I love you, Samantha."

"I love you, too, Janet," Sam managed, kissing the doctor's head.


Janet and Sam both froze. Like the old horror story, the call had come from *inside the house* near the stairs.

"Shit," Sam hissed, grabbing her shorts and sweater and covering her nudity with them. From their position in the corner, they were protected by the counters and couldn't be seen from the back door or from the entrance to the dining room. But if Cassandra came into the kitchen, there was no hiding from the girl.

"Mom," Cassandra said, pounding into the dining room. Five feet away. The back door hinges squeaked loudly as the girl pushed them open. "I just wanted you to know my bike was in the garage in case Sam came by."

There was a moment of silence, then the back door slammed shut and Cassie muttered, "Fine, don't answer me..."

Sam almost relaxed... until Cassie walked into view. Janet almost squeaked, but Sam covered her mouth with her hand. Cassie opened the fridge, her back to her 'mothers.' Painfully long seconds stretched by. Sam and Janet both stared at the girl's back, praying she didn't turn around. After an eternity of staring into the fridge, the girl picked up a bottle of soda and let the door slam shut, turning and walking out of the kitchen.

Sam collapsed against Janet. When they heard the bedroom door close upstairs, Janet said, "My God... my God... That was too damn close."

"Hmm," Sam said, "Have you ever heard of people who get turned on by risky situations?"

Janet raised an eyebrow. "You one of those people?"

"I don't know if it's almost getting caught or the fact I'm sitting on top of a beautiful naked woman... but yeah."

Janet giggled and said, "What am I going to do with you?"

Sam reached over and picked up Janet's discarded shorts. "Don't blame me... blame it on the cut-offs."


Stargate SG1

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