Title: Faded Photographs

Author: Geonn

Email: neil_j_miser@yahoo.com

Rating: NC17

Pairing: Sam/Janet, Sam/Anise

SPOILERS: Seeing as this takes place during the episode, "Upgrades," I'd say massive spoilers for that one in particular. Also, "In the Line of Fire."

NOTES: Hrm. Okay. Apparently, my muses for the & series are angry at me about what I did to Janet in the final part and are making me slow in getting the next part done. But, they aren't completely gone and tortured me with this until I decided to put it down on paper... er, screen... er, whatever. Hope you enjoy it!

SUMMARY: Sam tries to deal with her feelings when an old lover of Jolinar's arrives at the SGC.

"Good morning, Colorado... I tell ya, if you're awake, at this hour, go back to sleep," the radio announcer warned.

Unfortunately for me, going back to sleep wasn't an option. As much as I wanted to wrap myself in Janet's arms and ignore the page I had received and the annoying man in our clock radio, the soldier in me couldn't do it. The SGC had called the team, telling them that the Tok'ra had sent a message wanting to meet with them. I had reluctantly hurried to get to the base, hoping maybe my father would be the one to come through the Stargate. I lightly pressed my lips to Janet's temple, whispering a quiet good-bye, and slipped out the door. I could see the edge of the sun peeking over the horizon, threatening to rise sooner or later. I ran a hand through my hair, thinking that the only decision one should have to make this early was whether or not to make love to your partner again before getting up and going to work.

The road to the base was, of course, completely vacant. Who else would be driving at this hour? Other than the snow plows, that is...

I arrived at the base a few minutes early, heading directly to the Gate Room to find that Teal'c was the only other team member present. I stood between him and the General, looking at the inactive Stargate before us. "Did they tell you why they called?"

"No," Hammond said. "Just a vague message asking for SG-1 to be present when they arrived."

"I see," I said. The Tok'ra had a habit of leaving out important details like who, what, where, when and why. The Stargate suddenly began humming, the inner ring beginning to spin.

As I turned my attention to the dialing gate, the doors on the far side of the room slid open and Daniel slumped in, pulling on his jacket. He was closely followed by Colonel Jack O'Neill. I took note that the two men usually arrived for surprise, early morning meetings together. I dismissed the thought, assuming that they probably gave each other rides to work.

"Message I got was pretty vague," Daniel said.

"So was the transmission we got from the Tok'ra."

"Did they say who was coming?"

"No."

Jack was surprised by this, or maybe he was simply being facetious. "Did they say why?"

I took the liberty and gave him the same answer that Hammond had given me. "No, sir."

"Now, see, that's rude. I hate that. In fact, the Tok'ra are starting to annoy me in general."

"Sir?" I ask.

"Don't get me wrong, Carter. I think your dad is great. I love him like a brother." This wasn't really what I was questioning; hadn't even thought of it. The Colonel continued on as the iris pulled away, revealing the event horizon. "It's just that every time they show up, there's always all kinds of...."

He was cut off when he glanced up the ramp and saw who was coming. Hoping it was Dad, I looked... and was shocked to see Freya standing at the top of the ramp. I forced a smile, but couldn't make myself hold it. As she walked down the ramp, my mind was flooded with images from a life that wasn't my own.

Toweling off her body after we bathed together. Laying together on a white-sand beach, sunning our nude bodies in the triple sun of an alien world. Making love to her, each time thinking it could be our last.

The horrible feeling as I told her I loved Martouf, that I had decided to be with him.

The tears she cried when I left the Tok'ra homeworld to battle Sokar's forces.

No. Not me... I never made love to this beautiful woman. Jolinar had. This was Jolinar's lover. I heard my name and nodded slightly, allowing the Colonel to introduce me. My eyes scanned over the cloak she wore. I had never seen it, but immediately hated the article. It covered her entire body. As I paused at the expanse of skin at her throat, I realized *why* everything else was covered. She wanted me looking at her throat. The most hideous necklace in any galaxy adorned her neck, sweeping low to end between her breasts. I... Jolinar... had given the necklace to Anise on our... their... fifteenth anniversary. The woman had refused to wear it, calling it the most hideous thing she'd ever seen on a thousand planets. Jolinar had been crushed, taken the necklace back and ran, finding solace in her quarters. That night, Freya had come to her and blamed the incident on Anise. The symbiote had no qualms about sharing her true feelings about any subject, regardless of who she hurt. That night, after making love, Freya had put the necklace on and wore it the next day, much to Anise's chagrin.

"I'm Jack," the colonel said. "It means... what's in the box?"

"That is the reason I have come," she said, her voice carrying the double tones of a Tok'ra. "I suggest we adjourn to a more private area and discuss my visit."

Hammond agreed and we began to file out. I let Teal'c, Jack and Daniel go first, offering to lead Anise myself.

 She glanced at me, then bowed slightly. "You are the daughter of the host to Selmak, are you not?"

"Yes... he's my father..." I replied, uncertainly.

I saw the shadow of a smile dance across the woman's face, but it quickly vanished. "We look forward to working with you, Major Carter."

I felt a warm heat rise to my cheeks and nodded slowly, closing the distance between me and the door. I couldn't exactly deal with this woman right now... not with Jolinar's memories wreaking havoc with my mind, my feelings. I just had to... had to get away.

~ ~ ~

I moved slowly down the hall, hoping to get to my quarters for a quick nap before reporting to the infirmary. Janet offered to wake me up in time for me to be given the armband. I was a little wary about being outfitted with the device, but hoped the good would outweigh the bad. Besides, I reasoned with myself, it might be interesting to be Wonder Woman.

"Major Carter!"

Anise. I froze, hoping I wouldn't have to speak with her. Somewhere in my infinite genius, I had forgotten I couldn't turn invisible. The Tok'ra archaeologist moved around in front of me, holding the necklace given to her by Jolinar. "Major Carter."

"Yes, Anise?"

She looked at the necklace, then spoke as Freya. "Jolinar gave me this gift on... a very special day many years ago. I am afraid that there are some bad feelings associated with it... but it is a very prized possession. I would like you to have it."

"Anise... Freya... I couldn't. It's special to you..."

"You were Jolinar's final host. It would touch me deeply if you would accept this gift."

I smiled, taking the necklace from her. "Thank you. I'll treasure it."

Freya looked immensely happy, then bowed slightly. "I must go prepare Colonel O'Neill to be fitted with his armband. I will see you when his results have been reported?"

"Of course."

Freya nodded slowly, then said, "Forgive me." She pulled my face close, pressing her lips against mine. I wanted to pull back, hoping no one was in the hallway to see. But as I put my hands on her shoulders to push her away, I became lost in the sensations... I felt as though Freya had been *my* lover. I remembered well the texture of her lips against mine, the soft and inviting stroke of her tongue as it begged entrance to my mouth, the way our bodies molded so perfectly together. My hands slid from her shoulders to her cheeks, cupping her face as I parted my lips, allowing her entry to my mouth. She moaned, a low, semi-familiar moan as our tongues touched.
After what felt like an eternity, she pulled away, biting her lower lip. "I will see you in a few hours."

She moved away, acting suddenly and strictly professional. I pressed myself against the wall, trying to compose myself before I tried walking again.

~ ~ ~

When I woke from my nap, I discovered that I had stripped out of my clothes and now lay nude on top of my blankets. I sat up, rubbing my eyes and wishing that the rest had been more... well, restful. My dreams were of Freya, of Anise, and of long nights of passionate lovemaking. As I dressed, I marveled at the similarities between Anise and Jolinar and the relationship between Janet and myself. Rules and structure of the Tok'ra had forced them to keep their relationship secret, made them hide their feelings when in public. The pressure of this had eventually forced Jolinar to end the relationship. It wasn't that she didn't love Freya... just that it was too much to deal with. She had fallen into a safe relationship with Martouf and eventually *did* love him. But never as much as she had loved Freya.

I wondered if the same fate was in store for Janet and I. Would I eventually decide I have had too much secrecy and fall into bed with, say, Daniel? I pushed aside these thoughts, deciding it wasn't prudent to deal with this at the moment. I left my quarters, almost running into the lovely doctor. "Oh! Sam! I was just coming to get you."

"It's okay, Janet. Couldn't sleep anyway." I risked giving her a quick kiss on her lips, holding her a second longer than necessary before heading down the hall beside her.

She was a little flushed when she asked, "And what, may I ask, brought that on?"

I stopped, pushing her back against the wall. I reached into her lab coat and took ahold of the material of her skirt. Slowly raising it, I said, "I kept dreaming... of your marvelous ass..." I squeezed the said portion of her anatomy, causing her to squeak quietly.

"Sa-am!" She pushed me away playfully, blushing a fierce red. She readjusted her clothes, trying to appear professional again. "You're certainly playful today!"

I placed a chaste kiss on her cheek and said, "See you when I get home tonight. 'Kay?"

"Definitely," she said, a wicked glint in her eye.

I entered the infirmary to see Daniel hopping onto a bed, ready to get his Tok'ra bio-sensor and Atoneik armband. Colonel O'Neill was sitting on the bed opposite Daniel, chowing down on a candy bar.

~ ~ ~

Let's just say I didn't miss sleep. The armband had me so wired, I wondered if I would ever close my eyes again. I typed a thousand-page book on wormhole dynamics, answered all my emails, wrote an eight-page letter to Mark, ordered some books on-line and even had time to finally finish reading a mystery book I had been dying to get to the bottom of (the sheriff did it). Unfortunately, this burned a lot of energy.  "Well, all I know," I said, interrupting the guys, "is that I'm going to starve to death. I don't know about you guys, but I am having some serious protein cravings."

"Steak," Colonel O'Neill said, looking into the distance as if he could see the meal in front of him. "Big. Red. Juicy... MEAT."

"O'Malley's in town!" I offered. They had the most mouth-watering steaks on the face of the planet. 

We stood, zooming from the lock-up and going to our various quarters for a change of clothes. We met up again at the elevators and paused, looking to make sure our passage through the halls of the SGC hadn't caused too much of a panic. We then boarded the elevator, riding the irritatingly slow mechanism to the surface. The second the doors opened, I was gone! Colonel O'Neill and Daniel kept up with me, but I felt unstoppable... I was the strongest, fastest, most incredible woman who had ever lived! Ahead, a wall rose into the air. I calculated the distance and decided it was around 30 or so feet. Taking a deep breath, and released my hold on gravity and flew - I FLEW! - over the wall, landing on the other side and continuing as if nothing had happened. My knees didn't even buckle!

As I raced towards the restaurant, my mind was again assaulted by memories of meals shared with Freya. As I thought about the beautiful woman's delicate features - her pouty lips, her wide, trusting eyes - I realized protein wasn't the only thing I was craving tonight. I had another strong urge that I couldn't hold back. Steaks first. Then, I would see if Janet was still at the base.

~ ~ ~

The armband's influence... the rare steaks... the brawl...

I was feeling seriously amorous when I sped to a stop outside of the house I shared with Janet Fraiser. I sped through the door, wondering if I had succeeded in opening it before I entered, then decided that it didn't matter. I slowed to a stop outside of our bedroom door, pushing it open. Janet was sitting on the edge of the bed, dressing an oversized pajama shirt and nothing else. She turned, probably expecting Cassandra. "Sam?! I thought you were supposed to be in lock-up."

"I got sick of it," I said, moving into the room and closing the door. "I hate lock-up. There's no you." I grabbed her by the waist, pulling her to me. "We had plans tonight. I want you." I kissed her lips fiercely, hungrily as I grabbed the two sides of her shirt and ripped it open. She gasped into my mouth, trying to pull back as my hands mauled her breasts. I pulled back, picking her up and tossing her onto the bed. "I need you, Janet." I straddled her thighs,
pulling off my jacket and sweater. "You're mine."

Janet wriggled out from beneath my legs, grabbing a pillow and brandishing it like a shield. "Sam, I don't know what's got into you...."

"I want you, Janet," I whispered, crawling across the mattress towards her. My movements resembled those of a jungle cat hunting it's prey. I wasn't going to let Janet go.

Janet picked up the phone, which I hadn't even seen her maneuvering towards. "Sam... if you want to explain to General Hammond why you're here trying to rape me, be my guest. But I will call him if you don't get back to the base."

"Rape you?" I asked, wondering how she had gotten that impression. "I just want to be with you. I want to have sex, baby." I grabbed her shoulders and pulled her to me, kissing her throat.

From experience, I knew that her eyes were drifting slowly downward, her lips parted as my lips traced the throbbing course of her pulse. I licked the soft flesh of her shoulder and bit down. Hard.

Janet cried out in pain, pulling away from me. "Major Carter, I want you out of this house. NOW!" My lover's hand was pressed to her shoulder where I had lovingly nipped her. I couldn't understand her reaction until I saw the thin line of blood escape between her fingers.

"Oh, God, Janet... I'm..."

"Out!" she demanded. I slid off of the bed, picking my sweater up off the floor and pulling it back on. I glanced at her once more before I finally did what she asked and left.

~ ~ ~

The door was open and closed before she even realized it. I stood in the darkness, my eyes taking no time to adjust to the change in lighting. She was laying under the cotton blanket, resting on her left side. Her back was to me, but I could tell that she was sleeping in the nude. It was how she had always slept. I quietly removed my leather jacket and sweater, laying them on the table of the VIP room. I walked to the side of Anise's bed, gently lowering myself onto the mattress. Her eyelids fluttered slightly at the movement, but she didn't wake. Using my advanced speed to my advantage, I stripped the blanket away and tossed it to the far side of the room.

She began to feel the cold of the room on her bare body, curling into a ball and holding tightly to her pillow. I scanned her nude form for the first time in over a hundred years. I reached out, tracing a line from her hip up to the swell of her breast. Her lips parted slightly and her eyes opened, searching for the intruder. "Hello, Freya."

She sat up at the sound of my voice, her eyes widening.

"Don't worry, love. It's me."

"Samantha Carter?" she asked, recognizing my voice. "What are you doing here?"

I brushed the back of my hand across her cheek, causing her eyes to drift shut again. "I've missed you so, Freya." I tucked several loose strands of hair behind her ears, then leaned forward, eager to experience another one of her incredible kisses.

"Wait, Samantha. This is not right."

Something about the Tok'ra... they always seem to insist on calling me Samantha. The sound of it on this woman's lips sounded like heaven. "It's incredibly right, Freya. I carry Jolinar's thoughts, her memories and feelings... I remember those nights on Oriad when we made love until you cried. I remember how we would fantasize about one of us receiving a male host so we would no longer have to hide our feelings. Think of it as your chance to say goodbye to Jolinar."

Freya still didn't look entirely convinced, but she either couldn't or wouldn't argue anymore. She pulled my face to hers and captured my lips once more. I moaned. Gods, this woman had kissable lips! As our tongues dueled once more, I reached down and worked the button of my jeans open, the fly easily slipping down. Pulling one of Freya's hands from my bra-restrained chest, I placed her fingers between my heated skin and the denim. She gasped at the warmth and wetness she found there, pulling back and looking into my eyes.

With one deft motion, she flipped us both around so that she was on top of me, one hand working to undo my bra while the other was exploring between my legs. I reached down, pulling the denim lower onto my thighs to free up her movements. All that lay between us now were the soaked panties I wore. Freya slid down my legs, pulling off the black denim of my jeans and the pink satin of my panties. Finally bared before her, I allowed her a moment to examine my body. Her eyes sparkled with the look of discovery, her breasts slowly rising and falling as she tried to control her breathing.

"You are beautiful, Samantha."

"Shut up and get to work," I breathed.

Freya took this as a joke, thankfully, but still did as I ordered. She flattened herself against my thigh, spreading my legs to accommodate herself as she inhaled the heady aroma of my arousal. She smiled, then pressed a soft kiss to my upper thigh. I gripped the sheets, holding tightly to them as she worked her way around my lower lips. Her tongue danced across my stomach, dashed across my inner thighs. Her nose rubbed teasingly against my clit, but the pressure was never enough. Finally, I wrapped my fingers in her golden locks and pressed her face against my center. "God, stop teasing!"

Freya gently rolled her tongue from the bottom of my slit to the top, swirling it slightly when she reached the apex. Her nose was applying a steady pressure to my clit and she would accent it by rubbing it back and forth. I wrapped my legs over her shoulders, pulling her closer still. That was something I hadn't remembered in Jolinar's thoughts. Freya and Anise both made great lovers, but neither of them were very quick getting to the point.

I finally grunted, "Damn it, Freya! Stop playing around! I need it...!"

She finally heard the desperation in my voice and pulled back, sliding one finger over my wet slit and getting it moist with my juices. She repeated the process, tickling my lips until she decided she had enough lubrication on four of her fingers and pressed them together. Finally, she slid the wet digits into me, all the way to the knuckle. The sudden intrusion felt alternately incredible and painful, as I wasn't ready for the size. My back arched off of the mattress so far I was sure I would've flown to the ceiling if my hands hadn't been tightly wrapped in the sheets. As Freya began to slowly pump her fingers in and out of me, I began to writhe on the now-sweat soaked sheets. My long blonde hair was matted to my face and cheeks, getting into my eyes and mouth. I spit the strands out, realizing I needed desperately to cut it. Freya lowered her mouth again, wrapping those gorgeous lips around my clit and suckling it softly.

The combination of her sucking my clit and her fingers thrusting into me was enough to send me over the edge. I began to call out Freya's name, my hands tearing the sheets where I held them. I began to spasm, my cum spilling all over the Tok'ra archaeologist's hand, forearm and throat. She lowered her face, positioning her mouth to capture the rest of my cum. She swallowed it eagerly, reaching up to cup my breasts as her tongue worked to cleanse my clit. I came down off the orgasm slowly but surely, my mind racing.

I was burning up, my entire body seemed like it was on fire. Freya crawled up my body, pausing to place kisses on my stomach, breasts and throat. When she finally kissed my lips, I eagerly accepted her tongue to taste my tangy juices on it. Freya pulled back, obviously needing oxygen, and I moved my lips to her throat. I proceeded to clean my juices from her skin, pausing longer than necessary to taste her flesh.  When she was finally clean, I pulled her against me and kissed her eyelids.

 "Thank you," I whispered.

She was almost asleep when I slipped out of bed, pulling my discarded clothes back on.

"Where... where are you going?"

"Back to lock-up," I replied. I turned, throwing my jacket over my shoulder. "You were great, hon."

Freya clutched the blanket to her chest, suddenly embarrassed to be seen nude. "I thought maybe you would... stay with me tonight. Maybe we could be with each other again," she offered, obviously wishing I would return the favor she had just given me.

"Sorry," I told her. "I have to get back to the room or else they'll know we were gone." Of course this was a lie. As soon as the police called about our little brawl, the news would be out. Freya, though, didn't know this. "I'll see you tomorrow."

As I stepped into the hall, I remembered where I had heard that line before. Every one-night stand I had ever had in college had come back to bite me in the ass. I peered down the hall and, seeing no guards, decided to return to the lock-up at regular speed.

~ ~ ~

As I held Janet in my arms the night following our raid on Apophis' battleship, I thought back to how I had acted while under the influence of the armband. From her shallow breathing, I could tell Janet had already fallen asleep. The revelations would wait for another day, I decided. The incident with Freya had been, as General Hammond said, the effect of being under the influence of an alien device.

That might excuse military actions, but not what I did to Janet. I held her tightly against my side, careful of the bandage that adorned her shoulder because of me. Quietly, I began to confess my sins of the past few days, first and foremost being my rendezvous with Freya. When I finished, I kissed the top of Janet's head. "I'm sorry, Janet," I whispered. "Forgive me, please."

"I forgive you," she whispered.

I jumped, looking down at her closed eyes. "I... I thought you were asleep."

"Hard to sleep with all of that whispering going on," she said. She raised her head so that we were eye-to-eye and said, "You weren't yourself. The armbands made you act out of the ordinary. I forgive you, Sam." She pressed her lips to my cheek and said, "Just don't let it happen when you're really you," she smiled.

I fell asleep that night holding the love of my life, regardless of what Jolinar remembered or felt. Freya be damned... I loved Janet Fraiser with all of my heart and soul. And that was all that mattered.

end