Title: The Green-Eyed Monster

Author: Geonn

Email: neil_j_miser@yahoo.com

Rating: PG13

Pairings: Sam/Janet

Category: Action/Adventure, Humor

Disclaimer: These folks don't belong to me. I stole them from MGM's toybox without asking their mommies for permission. I promise to return them more or less unscathed.

Spoilers: "Emancipation," "Thor's Hammer," "100 Days," "Serpent's Venom," "Window of Opportunity," and itsy-bitsy ones for "Children of the Gods" and "The First Commandment."

Archive: Realm of the Shadow, absolutely. Area52, sure. Anyone else, just ask and you will receive.

Notes: Set between Season 5 and Season 6, when SG-1 was still searching for an elusive fourth member.

Summary: A group of religious zealots label the SG-1 team heretics for using the Stargate. Meanwhile, on Earth, Janet grows increasingly jealous of Sam's relationship with Daniel's temporarily replacement.


Chapter One,

Structure. Form. Rules and standards.

Janet Fraiser relied on routine. She woke every morning at 6:15. She showered, dressed in her crisp blue uniform (or civvies if she was off-duty that particular day), woke Cassandra and began breakfast. By 7:45, she was standing by the door tapping her foot as she waited for her daughter (and the rest of the world) to catch up with her. As Cassandra finally made her way to the car, Janet would undoubtedly check her watch and would always consider herself to be running late.

Cassandra was dropped off at school between 8:05 and 8:10, depending on traffic, and Janet headed for the base. Order. Ritual. She had never been late, at least by the official clocks at Cheyenne Mountain. She would, without a doubt, drop into her seat and pull herself up to her desk a full minute before her shift officially began.

And then Sam happened.

Sam with her beautiful blue eyes. Sam with her penchant for late night talk shows and even later night cuddling. Sam with her early-morning 'moods' that ensured Janet would be at least a few minutes later than usual. Wonderful, beautiful, amazing, schedule-destroying Sam.

Cassandra pounded on the door of the bedroom the two women shared at 7:30, impatiently wondering where her breakfast was. Janet sat up, brushing her hair out of her face before throwing the blankets aside. "Sorry, Cass," she called. "Make, uh... a Pop Tart or something." She picked up her watch off the bedside table and muttered an obsenity. She shed her boxer shorts and tank top, tossing them in the general direction of the hamper before hurrying to the bathroom. 'An hour and fifteen minutes late,' she thought. 'Shit.'

She stood under the spray for almost a whole thirty seconds, the entire time questioning whether Sam Carter was worth all of this chaos. Late mornings, rushed breakfasts, hurrying to get to work on time, sometimes having to skip lunch just to stay caught up. She was exhausted most of the time, her sleep schedule thoroughly destroyed by sleeping in the same bed as Sam. Her neat and tidy life had been shut in a suitcase and thrown around by an angry gorilla. She turned off the water and brushed her hair out of her face. Was it worth it?

"Hey, hon," Sam said as she stepped into the bathroom, hair mussed from sleep. She had thrown on Janet's blue silk robe, the right side hanging down to reveal Sam's bare shoulder. The difference in their height caused the material to end at the very top of Sam's thighs, giving the blonde only a modicum of modesty. Sam sniffed and ran a hand under her nose, grabbing the toothpaste with the other hand. As she applied the paste to her brush, Janet smiled.

It was *so* worth it. "Hey, hon," Janet replied, stepping out of the shower stall and embracing Sam from behind. "Mission?"

Sam nodded. "Yep."

"New member?"

"Uh-huh. Majo' Adweeun Thoweno," Sam said around a mouthful of toothpaste.

Janet smiled and said, "Major who?"

Sam leaned forward, pressing her barely-covered ass against Janet's completely bare front. She spit the toothpaste out and repeated, "Major Adrienne Sorreno."

"Huh. I don't know her."

Sam shook her head. "Nope. She's new. Just transferred from, uh... ah, hell. From someplace."

Reluctantly separating herself from Sam, Janet said, "I'm going to get dressed and then grab some breakfast. Want anything?"

"Nah. I'll catch up with you at the base. Love you."

Janet grinned. They had first said the 'three little words' a week earlier and now neither could seem to stop. Janet kissed two fingers and waggled them at Sam. "Love you, too," she said, slipping out of the bathroom.

---

According to the schedule Janet received, SG teams 1, 2, 3 and 7 were to depart at different times during the day. The departure of 3 and 7 were well after her shift ended, which meant it was Warner's responsibility. 1 and 2, however, meant that Janet had to make sure all team members were fit and battle-ready before Hammond would allow them through the Gate. The first to arrive for the pre-mission exam was, as always, Teal'c. Janet examined him closely, making sure everything was all right. She detected signs that he might be coming down with the flu, but there was no reason to be disturbed; the symbiote was hard at work on that and would finish up 'repairs' during Teal'c's next kel'no'reem.

Next to arrive was Samantha Carter. The blonde was grimacing, holding her stomach as she painfully pulled herself onto the gurney. "J-Janet... oh, God, I think I ate something... I feel awful, but I have no particular symptoms."

"Uh-oh," Janet said, casually slipping on a pair of rubber gloves. "This calls for a full physical."

"I-I'm not telling you how to do your job or anything, but I think the problem may be centered in my breasts."

"Your breasts?" Janet asked.

"Uh-huh," Sam said. "I think you should focus your examination there..."

Colonel O'Neill wandered into the infirmary, wandering towards a bed on the opposite side of the infirmary. He stretched his arms out, then swung them inward as if he were about to hug himself. "Oop," Janet said. "Looks like I have another patient. I'll tell Dr. Warner to examine your breast problem."

Sam sat up. "My God. It's a miracle."

Janet pursed her lips and waggled a finger at the Major. "No hanky-panky on-base," she whispered, smiling through the admonishment.

"Yes, ma'am," Sam said, hanging her head. They had made the "Just-Friends-While-At-Work" rule at the very beginning of the relationship and had broken it a thousand times since.

"Hey, Doc," O'Neill half-sighed as he approached the two women. Indicating Sam with a tilt of his head, he asked, "Didja find the gene that makes her so smart?"

Janet nodded, shining the penlight into Sam's eyes. Such gorgeous eyes... "Found it a year ago. She promised to share it with me as long as I didn't tell you."

Sam snickered, glancing at her CO to see if he was amused. He smirked and leaned against the bed. "Either of you met the potential new SG-1 member?" Both women responded negatively. He whistled and shook his hand as if the fingers had been burnt. "Tell me something; does the phrase Italian stallion refer to women, too?"

Janet tilted her head slightly. "Technically, it would be Italian mare."

"Doesn't have the same ring," O'Neill admitted. "Still... she's not your ordinary Air Force officer. *Very* hot." Both women snapped their heads in his direction and he began to backpedal so fast that he could've walked on water. "I mean... well, neither of you are... ordinary Air Force officers either. You're both... what I mean to say is..." He shrugged his shoulders up and turned his head slightly. "What's that, Teal'c?" Across the room, the Jaffa lifted his head and cocked an eyebrow. "What?" O'Neill repeated, walking towards his friend. "Sure, I'll grab some breakfast." He glanced back at Sam and Janet before making a hasty retreat from the room. Teal'c followed, uncertain as to what had just happened.

Janet laughed and turned to Sam. "I think we made him nervous."

"Ya think?"

"Made who nervous?"

Both women turned, instincts telling them that this was the new arrival. Major Adrienne Sorreno stood in the doorway of the infirmary, her right arm rubbing her left as she nervously entered the infirmary. She smiled meekly and looked at each of the women before she said, "Hi. I-I'm, uh, Major Sorreno. Adrienne. Uh, Ren."

Neither woman could speak at first. Adrienne Sorreno was, in Jack O'Neill's words, an Italian stallion. Her hair, though cut short to confirm to Air Force regulations, was a bit longer than the hair of most officers on the base. It framed her cherubic face perfectly, two curls reaching to her chin and pointing up to her heart-shaped lips. Her bronze skin somehow managed to gleam even in the harsh light of the infirmary, highlighting her impossibly green eyes and the flash of her teeth when she smiled. 'Damn,' Janet thought. 'And I thought Sam made those drab jumpsuits look sexy...'

Finally, Janet extended her hand. "Dr. Janet Fraiser. Chief Medical Officer. T-this is Major Samantha Carter. She'll be your team mate on SG-1."

Adrienne turned and smiled broadly. "Yes, of course! Major Carter! I look forward to working with you."

Sam nodded, then glanced at Janet. "Um... are we done?"

"Yes, we are," Janet said. "I'll see you when you get back?"

Sam nodded and slipped off the bed, smiling once more at Adrienne before she left the infirmary. The new Major climbed onto the bed the blonde had vacated and smiled at Janet. "This is all so strange... so... new..."

"Mm-hmm," Janet said, checking the other woman's heart rate.

"And Major Carter... I didn't know they had such beautiful women in the Air Force."

Janet lifted her eyes, scanning the other woman's face. She cleared her throat. "Pardon me?"

Adrienne looked at Janet, then went pale. "Did I just say that out loud?" The paleness that had obscured the bronze of her cheeks gave way to a fresh flush of red.

'Houston,' Janet thought. 'We have a problem.'

---

O'Neill and Janet flanked General Hammond at the briefing table. Teal'c sat next to the doctor, while Sam was seated next to Jack. Adrienne had, much to Janet's chagrin, taken the seat next to Sam. O'Neill tapped his pencil against his notepad, apparently bored to death with the entire situation. He had once mentioned that taking possible replacements on 'milk-run' missions was a waste of time. Every time a new person was assigned, he would argue that he, Sam and Teal'c made a great team on their own. Hammond was immobile on the subject.

Sam was referring to her red notebook, informing them of the next planet they were to visit. "P8A-419 seems to have a standard Earth atmosphere, with evidence of terraforming. More than likely, the people here were transplanted from Earth at some point."

She indicated a photo in the file and Janet turned her attention to it. It showed a video capture from the MALP readings. Apparently, the probe was inside some sort of building or temple.

"From what we're able to discern," Sam continued, "the Stargate is located within a stone temple. However, there isn't any evidence that the temple has been used for worship in centuries. I've tried to get an idea of what to expect outside the temple, but there are no windows I can see and the door is too narrow for the MALP to fit through. I suggest we go in exercising the utmost caution."

Hammond nodded. "I agree. But if there's evidence of a Goa'uld currently in power..."

"We'll come straight back, General. Yes, Sir."

"SG-1, you have a go. Report to the Gate Room in half an hour," Hammond said, pushing himself out of his chair. "Good luck, Major Sorreno." He glanced at Jack and kept himself from adding 'you're going to need it.' He smiled at the new member and headed into his office.

Jack and Teal'c headed to the lockers to get suited up and Janet went towards the stairs. She was halfway down when she heard Major Sorreno's gentle voice from above. She realized that both of the women were still at the table. She paused, eavesdropping on their conversation. "Pretty exciting, huh?"

"Actually, it's a standard recon mission. Colonel O'Neill hates going into places where we can't see what's there with our own two eyes... but it should be a cakewalk."

"I don't mean the mission," Sorreno chuckled. "The Stargate. Traveling to alien worlds, meeting new races, representing the entire human race. It's a heavy concept."

"Yeah, I guess it is." Sam's voice carried a gentle tone; she was trying not to coddle the new member, while at the same time extending the hand of friendship. "I've been doing it for six years now... I guess I've kind of gotten used to it."

"Gotten used to stepping from one planet to another? I'll believe it when I see it."

Suddenly, a bright and cheerful voice said, "Dr. Fraiser!" She jumped, looking down and seeing Jonas Quinn starting up the stairs. Damn... his voice had echoed up the stairs into the briefing room; Sam and Adrienne had no doubt heard. She nodded a hello to the alien and brushed past him, hurrying to get out of the general area. Jonas watched her go, then shrugged and went up into the briefing room. "Major Carter." He turned to the other woman and his brow furrowed. "Uh..."

"Sorreno. Major Adrienne Sorreno. I-I'm the temporary replacement on SG-1."

"Ah," Jonas said, forcing a smile. Sam winced for the man; she knew he was angling to be the fourth of their team. She also didn't think he had a chance in Netu. "Jonas Quinn," he tapped himself on the chest. "Good luck with the team." He waved to Sam and then wandered in the direction of the hallway.

Adrienne watched him go. "That was the other alien?"

"The Kelownan, yes."

She shook her head. "Sitting in a briefing with one alien, getting introduced to another a few minutes later... this is going to take some getting used to."

Sam chuckled and patted Adrienne on the shoulder before leaving the room.

---

"You were eavesdropping."

"Nuh-uh," Janet sighed.

"Liar, liar." Sam pecked Janet's forehead, letting her tongue play over a miniscule scar that was only visible upon close inspection. "Jonas ratted you out. Why were you on the stairs?"

Janet sighed and let her fingers roam through Sam's short hair. "Your hair is too short," she complained. "I don't have anything to play with."

"Subject changer," Sam accused.

"Okay. I heard you talking to Major Sorreno and thought... I don't know. Maybe she might try to make a pass at you." She shrugged. "It was stupid."

Sam grinned, pressing Janet against the cement wall of the storage room they had claimed as their own for the next few minutes. "You were jealous," the Major said in sing-song.

"That woman is gorgeous, Sam. Capital GOR, capital GEOUS. And you're no slouch in the looks department. I guess... I don't know... I was jealous. And scared."

Sam's smile faltered slightly and she brushed her fingers along Janet's jawline. "Even if she does want me - and there's no evidence that says she does - that doesn't mean she'll get to have me. Have you forgotten how absolutely nuts I am about you?"

Janet grinned and said, "Why don't you remind me?"

Sam lowered her head, pressing her lips to the juncture of Janet's neck and shoulder and began to suckle gently, pulling the material of the doctor's blouse down just enough to bare the brunette's secret hot spot. Janet moaned and felt her knees buckle, collapsing against Sam. The blonde put one hand against the wall to brace them, using her other hand to support the doctor's rear end as she nibbled on the tight flesh of Janet's shoulder.

The door slammed open, making both of them jump. Janet turned to the shelf and grabbed the first thing she saw, thanking her lucky stars they were in the back corner of the storage room. "Doctor? Major?" a surprised voice asked. Janet turned and saw Sergeant Siler standing just inside the room. "W-what're you doing in here?"

Janet held up what she'd grabbed off the shelf. Toilet paper. 'Crap,' she said, not noticing her own pun. "Um... the bathroom was out, so Sam and I came to get refills."

Siler nodded, then sheepishly scratched the back of his neck. "Could... you grab one for the men's room, too?"

Sam grabbed another roll and tossed it to the embarrassed sergeant. He held it up in thanks and made a quick retreat. Once the door was closed again, Janet collapsed against the wall, tossing the toilet paper back onto the shelf. "Tell me again, *why* do we sometimes fool around on-base?"

"Cause you love the thrill," Sam said, proceeding to remind the doctor of why they had started coming into the storage room.


Chapter Two,

Major Sorreno entered the Gate Room, green eyes wide as she watched the Stargate dialing their destination. She'd seen videotape of the ancient portal in action, but it was nothing compared to seeing the real thing. For one, the tapes didn't accurately portray how the ring towered over everyone in the room. It didn't convey the raw *power* that emanated from the seemingly innocent ring. She could see how some civilizations would view someone coming through this as a god. It was a very majestic sight.

Colonel O'Neill turned to face her, his eyes hidden behind a pair of wide goggles and his lips set in a firm line. "You ready, Sorreno?" His voice was clipped and he seemed like he wished she would just turn and run away.

"Yes, Sir," she said, resting her hand on the butt of her P-90.

She took a deep breath and closed her eyes until she heard the Airman announce that the seventh chevron had locked. The Stargate seemed to lunge towards her, the inner ring pushing itself in before rushing out to meet her. She took an involuntary step back, blinking at the circle of standing water in front of her. She felt a hand on her back and turned, meeting the kind eyes of Major Samantha Carter.

"It's very easy, Major," she confided. "But it's all right to be scared. Colonel O'Neill literally had to push me through my first time."

Major Sorreno nodded and started up the ramp. Teal'c and Carter stood behind her, flanking her on either side. She paused just before the event horizon, positive that she could feel a magnetic pull coming from the wormhole. She was about to ask Sam if it was too late to turn back when she felt a hand hook under both of her arms. Teal'c was holding her on the right, Sam on the left. They pulled her back an inch or so, then shoved her forward... into oblivion.

---

Janet was watching from the control room when SG-1 departed. She saw Sam whisper to Adrienne, saw the reassuring pat on the back and the final shove through the Stargate. She bit her lip and stepped back, wondering if maybe she was just being ridiculous about this whole thing. Despite their talk in the storage room, Janet still felt uneasy. She hated herself for thinking it, but she really hoped Major Sorreno didn't make the cut for SG-1. The thought of Sam working side-by-side with the woman on a daily basis... She shook her head. "I'm just being silly," she breathed.

---

On slow days, Janet could usually count on one of the members of SG-1 to drop by and keep her company. Colonel O'Neill would usually pretend to be interested in the daily grind of medicine, but spend the entire time in the infirmary flirting with nurses. Teal'c would follow her around like an obedient puppy dog, retrieving things from the top shelf for her or helping her with patients. Sam would hang around and discuss mundane, ordinary things until her eyes began to sparkle and she suggested stocking up the supplies for the med center. Janet would always refuse, but somehow always ended up in the supply closet with her panties around her ankles. Daniel... She stopped herself short before she allowed herself to think about the MIA member of SG-1.

Unfortunately, since a mission coincided with an extremely slow day, Janet was left to fend for herself. Her paperwork was basically done, so she spent a large chunk of the afternoon sipping coffee in her office and answering email. She was in the middle of reading a message from her baby brother when there was a light knock on the door. She looked up and saw Jonas Quinn peeking into the office. "Jonas," she said, clicking off the monitor. "To what do I owe this visit?"

He shrugged, sticking his hands into his pockets. "I'm just... ah... bored. I usually spend time with Teal'c or hang out in the commissary, but Teal'c is on a mission and the commissary is observing something called Mystery Meat Mayday."

Janet winced. "Tell you what," she said, checking her watch. "When lunchtime rolls around, I'll take you off-base for some real human food."

"Off-base?" His eyebrows rose and he nodded. "Excellent."

She smiled and turned the computer monitor back on. She read a little more, then noticed Jonas was still seated across from her. She turned back towards him and said, "Anything else I can do for you?"

He picked a framed picture off her desk and smiled. "This is a great picture."

Janet nodded, knowing exactly which picture it was; It had been taken at the Fraiser family cabin the day Sam and Janet had revealed their relationship to Cassandra. The girl had taken it better than anyone could have expected and wanted only to keep playing with her dog, Simon. The photo Jonas held had been taken using a timer. The three of them were standing on the dock, smiling brightly into the camera. Sam had one arm around Janet's waist and the other resting on Cassie's shoulder. Sam had told a quick joke before setting the timer, so Janet had been caught laughing; she was bent slightly at the waist, her eyes closed and her mouth open wide in a laugh. Cassandra was looking up at her mother, wondering what was so funny. Sam was the only one posed, but there was a mischievous twinkle in her blue eyes.

"It's one of my favorites," Janet said, smiling as the memory of that day returned.

He put the photo back, tilting it slightly so that it was more centered among her things. "It must be nice."

"What must be nice?"

"Having a family. Being loved by a daughter, being in love with someone like Major Carter... you have a wonderful life, Dr. Fraiser."

Janet's eyes widened. "L-love? What... what do you mean love?"

Jonas straightened a little. "Oh. I-I didn't know I wasn't supposed to mention it to you."

She frowned. "Mention... Jonas, what are you talking about?" Red alert beacons started going off in her mind.

"Well," he shrugged, adjusting in the seat. "I just mean... that you and... I haven't told anyone else, if that's what you're concerned about. It's-It's totally your secret. Our secret." He waved his hands. "Your secret. I have... no reason to blackmail you or anything." He rubbed his forehead. "Can I leave?"

She ignored his request. "What do you think you know about me and Sam?"

He sighed and leaned back in his chair. "I don't *think*. I know. But... it's okay. I won't tell
anyone. I *haven't* told anyone."

Janet closed her eyes and leaned back. "How long have you known?"

With a sigh, Jonas shook his head. "It's not a matter of knowing. I... When I came through the Stargate to Earth, I was a bit preoccupied to worry about, about couplings. Relationships, you know. But then I saw how you and Major Carter acted around each other, I caught a few subtle looks and touches and... well, I assumed. I brought it up with Sam and she told me how important it was to keep the relationship a secret." He leaned forward. "Although, I don't see why you should be penalized for who you love."

"It's not that simple, Jonas..."

He opened his mouth to argue, but the alarm klaxon cut him off. She was out of her seat and halfway through the door before Sergeant Davis announced, "Unscheduled off-world activation!" Jonas was right behind her as she rushed out of the infirmary, smashing down the elevator button and impatiently waiting for the car to arrive. When a Stargate activation occurred while SG-1 was off-world, odds were that something had happened to the team. Janet usually liked to be present, even if it was something innocuous.

"Medical team to the Gate Room!"

She cursed. Luckily, though, she was already in the elevator, which would save time. She pushed her way through the doors even as they were opening, running down the corridor that led to the Gate Room. Pushing her way past the SFs that were on-duty, she did a quick examination of the scene. Major Carter and Teal'c were the only members of SG-1 present and the Stargate had already been shut off. Janet knelt next to her lover and saw why the medical team had been called; Sam's right hand was covered with blood, the sleeve just below her shoulder ripped and burnt.

"What happened?" General Hammond demanded, standing back to let Janet do her work. The brunette tore open Sam's sleeve and examine the wound. It was just a flesh wound; barely a scar, but the bleeding was awful. She pulled a gauze pad from her pouch and glanced at Sam's face.

Sam winced, watching Janet work. "It was basically a trap, Sir. Their Stargate is housed in a stone temple. We examined the ruins surrounding the Gate and eventually determined that the only way in or out was through an extremely thin, extremely curved tunnel. Colonel O'Neill went first, then me, then Major Sorreno and Teal'c. We had to walk sideways to get through, and even then it was tight quarters. When I exited the temple, I couldn't find Colonel O'Neill anywhere. I waited for Major Sorreno and Teal'c, but Teal'c was the only one to come out." She hissed as Janet applied an antibiotic.

Teal'c picked up where Sam had left off. "We were then approached by a group of locals armed with staff weapons and zat guns. They claimed that Colonel O'Neill and Major Sorreno had been transported to an isolation center, much in the manner of the Hammer device on Cimmeria. Major Carter was allowed through the transportation device due to the naquadah left in her system by Jolinar. My symbiote allowed for my passage. They claimed that Colonel O'Neill and Major Sorreno were heretics; that only gods were allowed to use the pathway to the stars."

"The Stargate," Sam unnecessarily clarified.

"How did you get hurt?" Janet asked, carefully wrapping the wound.

Sam sighed. "They said that, even though we were allowed through the portal, we were to leave immediately. They recognized Teal'c as the First Prime of Apophis, who they said was an enemy of their god."

"The Goa'uld Heru'ur," Teal'c said. "The people of this world are undoubtedly uninformed in matters of the Goa'uld hierarchy. They are unaware of my status as a traitor and seemed to believe Heru'ur to still be alive."

Nodding, Sam said, "I told them we weren't leaving without our people and one of the townspeople shot at me. I think he meant to miss, but they were heavily armed. We were forced to fall back." Janet took Sam's hand and helped the blonde to her feet, allowing herself to be used as a crutch.

"How do we go about getting our people back?" Hammond asked.

Sam winced and shook her head. "I'm not sure how we can, Sir. They wouldn't trust me or Teal'c. Anyone who isn't a Goa'uld will get zapped to wherever Colonel O'Neill and Major Sorreno went."

Jonas stepped in. "A Tok'ra."

Everyone turned to look at him. He shrugged. "A-all I'm saying is that... well, according to Dr. Jackson's notes, the Tok'ra were considered a myth until SG-1 actually made contact with them a few years ago. If a Tok'ra operative were to escort Teal'c and Major Carter back to the planet claiming to be a friend of Heru'ur... well, they'd have to believe him, wouldn't they?"

Teal'c was the first to respond. "When I was in service to Apophis, he put no merit on rumors of the existence of the Tok'ra. If these people are as uninformed as they seem, they will not know of recent developments."

Hammond seemed to consider this. Finally, he said, "I'll try to contact Jacob Carter, tell him our situation. But there's no guarantee the Tok'ra will be able to help... they have a few problems of their own to deal with." Sam and Teal'c both nodded. "For now, Dr. Fraiser, escort Major Carter to the infirmary. Teal'c, I have a few more questions about what happened on that planet." Teal'c nodded and the two members of SG-1 separated.

Once they were in the elevator, Janet pulled Sam down for a quick kiss. "You okay?"

Sam nodded, looking at her red hand. "Yeah. Just a little sore. Probably won't be able to hold the weight of someone on top of me for a while..." She looked up through her eyelashes at Janet.

The doctor smirked. "Is that your subtle way of saying you want to be on top?"

Sam giggled. The elevator opened and Janet motioned for Sam to lead the way. The blonde flexed the fingers of her injured hand as she made her way into the Med Center. "I hate waiting," she muttered, jumping onto the bed closest to the door. She tugged off her jacket and sighed. "God... did you read Colonel O'Neill or Teal'c's reports on that dungeon Thor's Hammer sent them to?"

Janet shook her head, rolling up Sam's short sleeve and peeling away the gauze she had applied only minutes before.

"It was awful. Torches on the walls, weird noises and - oh, yeah - a homicidal Unas that seemed determined to devour them." She shook her head. "God. Adrienne must be terrified."

Janet looked up through her bangs, then went back to the wound. "Adrienne?" She was surprised by the use of the Major's first name instead of just Sorreno.

"Yeah," Sam said, looking down at her arm. "I'm just... I can't help but be worried about her. She's probably terrified, scared witless..."

It was getting to the point where Janet could barely stand the other woman's name. "What about Colonel O'Neill?"

Sam shrugged. "He's been in scrapes like this before."

"No. I mean, Colonel O'Neill is there. Don't you think he's a comfort to her?"

"Colonel O'Neill? *Our* Colonel O'Neill, a comfort?" Sam scoffed. She shook her head. "Ren... she's a new recruit. This mission was supposed to be routine." She slapped her hand against the mattress. "She probably needs me there. She trusts me. She might need to have a strong female role model to get through--"

Janet pressed her lips together and interrupted, "You're all done here." She pulled the bandage tight and stepped back. She handed Sam a kit and said, "Clean off the blood. Change the dressing. You know the drill."

Sam looked at the kit, then at Janet's receding back. "Janet? Is something wrong?"

"No," Janet snapped. "I just... have things to do."

As Janet moved towards her office, Sam said, "Things? What kind of things?"

Janet turned. "What do you care?" She waved at the door and said, "Go on. Contact your father about saving 'Ren.' Go make a-a-a particle beam accelerator to save Colonel O'Neill the next time he gets stuck. God forbid you spend more than one unnecessary minute in here." She turned and went into her office, trying and failing to keep the door from slamming. As she crossed over to the other side of the desk, she turned the picture Jonas had recently admired face-down.

On the other side of the door, Sam stared after her lover with a mixture of shock and surprise. Finally, she touched her hand to the tight bandage on her arm and left the infirmary.


Chapter Three,

Janet jumped at the quiet knock, then cursed herself for being so easily frightened. She brushed her face, trying to hide her tears, then barked, "What do you want?"

The door opened slightly and Jonas peeked in. "Sorry. Is... this a bad time?"

She sighed and shrugged.

"I heard about what happened with Major Carter." Janet looked up and he answered her question before she could pose it. "I ran into her outside of the locker rooms. She told me that you had snapped at her about... something. I couldn't really make sense of it. She was... she was crying a little."

Janet closed her eyes. "What do you want?" she finally managed.

He looked around the office. "You obviously care for Sam an awful lot. Why are you doing this to yourself?"

"Doing what?"

"This!" He held out his hands to indicate the office around them. "Making an argument out of nothing, pretending you're going to lose Sam to someone who Sam isn't even interested in. You're putting yourself through hell for no reason whatsoever. I'd... just kind of like to know why." He shrugged and offered a half-smile. "Unless this is some sort of... human thing I just haven't grasped yet."

Janet chewed on her thumbnail and she finally sighed. "Do you read the comics page of the newspaper?"

He blinked, unsure of where this was coming from. "Uh... yeah. Sometimes."

"Have you read 'Peanuts'? The one with Charlie Brown and Linus and Snoopy and--"

Jonas smiled. "Yes! I like that one. 'Good grief'." His smile vanished and he shook his head. "What does--"

"One on-going joke in the strip is that Charlie Brown never kicks the football. Lucy will promise to hold it in place, but she... she *always* pulls it back at the last second. She's laughing and Charlie Brown always ends up flat on his back, fooled again. But one time... one time, Charlie Brown was in the hospital. He was sick. The strip never said what he had, but Lucy made a vow that if Charlie Brown got better, she would never pull the football away again. Well, of course, he got better and his first stop was Lucy. He had that football and he was ready to go."

She paused. Jonas waited and, when she didn't continue, prompted, "Well?"

"Well, they go to this field. And Lucy knows she can't back out of a promise she made to a sick friend, so she's going to hold that ball. And Charlie Brown knows this is it. Everyone knows that for the first time, Charlie Brown is going to kick that damn football. He's ready. He's primed. Lucy is true to her word and she keeps that football in place. Charlie Brown comes running, his entire life he's waited for this..."

Jonas blinked. "And?"

"He ends up kicking Lucy's hand. The one time she doesn't pull it away, he still can't make it work."

Jonas smiled. "I'm back to my original point. What does that have to do with Sam?"

"I have spent my entire life looking for that perfect... someone. I would run up and, just when it looks like I might get what I've always wanted, I end up flat on my back. Fooled again. Just like Charlie Brown and his football, I never... I've never been able to succeed in a relationship. No matter how much I want to, no matter how much I try to make it work, someone always pulls the football at the last second. But Sam is like that first kick after Charlie Brown recovers. It's like Lucy has promised me this one will work. The football is there and I'm just afraid... afraid that I'll end up flat on my back anyway."

"You're worried that... no matter how good this looks, it's bound to end badly."

She shrugged. "I'm just waiting for something to go wrong."

Jonas leaned back in his chair, chewing on his lip. Finally, he said, "Charlie Brown didn't *aim* for Lucy's hand, did he?"

"No. No, of course not."

"Then you should stop looking for ways to avoid kicking the football."

---

Janet pushed open the door to the lockers, letting the door close before she asked, "Sam? Is anyone in here?"

She heard water running in the shower area, so she made her way in that direction. She found Sam, bent over the sink, holding a wet hand to her face and trying to hold in her tears. The brunette winced and softly said, "Sam?"

"What did I do?" Sam asked softly, looking at Janet with red eyes. "Please. I-I just want to know what I did so I can fix it."

Janet's heart broke. She walked over to the sink, resting her hands on Sam's shoulders. When it was clear the blonde wasn't going to pull away, the brunette slowly leaned forward and brushed their lips together. "Sam, sweetheart... you didn't do anything. I'm sorry for those things I said. I'm... sorry that I was such a royal bitch." She sniffled, then looked around. "Are we alone in here?" she whispered.

"Uh-huh."

Janet smiled mischievously and grabbed the pull of Sam's zipper, slowly separating the front halves of the blonde's jumpsuit.

Sam giggled and looked at the brunette with questioning eyes. "What are you doing, hon?"

"Kicking the football," Janet replied, pushing Sam into a shower stall.

---

Sam had to stifle a laugh when she saw Colonel O'Neill and Major Sorreno again. "Not a word, Major."

She held up a hand, but couldn't help a laugh. "I'm sorry, Sir. I'm just... so happy!"

O'Neill rolled his eyes and tossed his headdress aside. The colorful hat lost several feathers as it sailed to the cement. The impact of it's landing caused a few of the brightly-colored marbles to come loose and roll across the floor of the Gate Room. His uniform was gone, replaced by a skin-tight flesh-colored jumpsuit that had been painted with pictographs of cattle and hunters. He also wore beaded bracelets and moccasins.

As it turned out, Jacob Carter had not been needed to fool their captors. The people of P8A-419 had revealed themselves to be reasonable people. They agreed to release their prisoners if Colonel O'Neill participated in a standard ceremonial dance. Sam was thrilled beyond words that they had finally stumbled upon a world where women weren't the ones forced to dance for 'religious' reasons. Now maybe O'Neill would conveniently forget about that 'wonderful blue number' she'd been forced to wear on one of their earliest missions. She had ammo for rebuttal now.

Speaking of rebuttal... He started to leave the room, no doubt eager for the change of clothes in his locker. "Sir?" He sighed and turned to face her, all-too-aware of what was coming. Sam pressed her hand to her cheek, shook her head slowly and said, "That jumpsuit does wonders for your ass."

He went to cover said-area with his hands, then remembered he wasn't wearing a cup. His body twisted in several inhuman directions as he struggled to cover both parts of his anatomy while attempting to pick up the headdress. Once he retrieved it, he used the colorful feathers to hide the front of his body while his free hand moved to his rear. He sighed and shook his head slowly. "Carter..."

She held up a finger. "Ah! Six years you've been bringing up that Chavadi dress. Revenge is best-served chilly."

Colonel O'Neill groaned and said something under his breath before leaving the Gate Room. Once he was out of earshot, several of the airmen present finally allowed their laughter to erupt. Sam turned to Janet and said, "You think General Hammond will let us make video captures from the security camera?"

Janet grinned. "Let's hope so."

---

Twin trails of smoke drifted up from the snuffed wick of the scented candle, rising through the night air to collect in the rafters of Janet Fraiser's deck. Two plates sat on either side of the fat candle, both stained with the remnants of a steak meal. A few feet away, still savoring their dinner, Sam and Janet were curled up together on the porch swing, drinking their water (no wine, since both had to work the next morning) and listening to the soothing voice of Chris Isaak drifting through the open living room window. Janet leaned back against Sam and closed her eyes. "I love this. Can we stay like this forever?"

Sam considered it, then rested her head on Janet's shoulder. "Sure. We'll track down Malachi and see if he can make us repeat this night over and over and over again."

Janet laced her fingers through Sam's and held the blonde's hand over her heart. "Can you see Abydos from here?"

"Yeah. Yeah, it's... uh..." Sam leaned forward and waved her hand to the north. "It's somewhere over there."

Janet looked up, skeptical. "Oh, really?"

"Sure. Look it up."

The brunette laughed and snuggled against Sam again. "So is Major Sorreno going to be Daniel's replacement?" While O'Neill had been bored (or irritated, whenever someone mentioned the ritual to him) during his exam, Adrienne Sorreno had been jumpy and nervous. When her exam had been completed, she had run from the infirmary like her tail was on fire. Since then, there had been no sign of the new officer anywhere on the base.

Sam sighed. "According to the Colonel, she has no business being on a team. As soon as they were teleported away she started freaking out. He's positive that the aliens only let them go because they were sick of listening to her crying."

"Gee," Janet said. As much as she disliked the idea of Sam spending time with the other woman, Adrienne hadn't been that bad. It was a shame to hear that her first mission had gone so badly. "So, what now?"

"Now," Sam said, "is number six. Captain Cody Borden."

Janet scrunched her nose. "Cap'n Cody? I hate the guy already."

"Uh-oh. Does this mean I can look forward to another mini-crisis in the infirmary when I get home?"

The brunette sighed, then pushed herself up and turned to look into Sam's eyes. "No. I was being silly today. Completely... and totally silly." She shrugged. "I guess I just have such a good thing, I'm afraid other people are going to try to take you away from me. I-I'm worried that you'll suddenly realize that you can do so much better."

Sam smiled, then leaned forward and kissed Janet's nose. "My last lover before you was Jonas Hansen. You *really* think I would let someone like *you* get away with the track record I have?" She chuckled. "It'll take a nuclear blast between us to keep me away from you."

"You mean it?"

With a sigh, Sam pressed her forehead to Janet's. "Okay. Let me put it this way. Jonas told me about your little Peanuts analogy. Comparing me to a football and all that. Keeping with the Charlie Brown theme... you're my little redheaded girl, Janet." She fingered the brunette's hair and said, "Even though your hair isn't red... today. You're the little girl I can never bring myself to talk to. The girl that... that I'm just happy to know exists out there. The difference here, beautiful, is that I got my little redheaded girl and you got to kick the football."

They kissed softly, then settled back against the arm of the porch swing. "You want to go in?"

"No."

"How long do you want to stay here?"

'How long do I want to stay here? Wrapped in your arms, looking at the stars, not a care in the world? How long do I want to stay like this?' She grinned and said, "Forever."

Sam tightened her embrace and whispered, "I'll do my best, sweetheart."

End


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