Title: Luck O' The Irish

Author: Geonn

Email: neil_j_miser@yahoo.com

Category: Humor, Holiday

Rating: R

Disclaimer: Stargate and characters are the property of MGM, Gekko, etc. Mainly you need to know no one with the name of Geonn owns the deed to these people.

Archive: Yes.

Spoilers: None, but a character from Stargate Atlantis is mentioned (and is heard 'off-screen.').

Summary: Janet's forgotten something and Sam is eager to make her pay for it.


Fraiser Residence,
Thursday, 8:15am

Janet had just stepped out of the shower, still running the towel through her wet hair, when the phone began ringing. She wrapped a robe around herself, knowing Cassandra had already left for school. She grabbed the receiver, barely glancing at the Caller ID display before answering. "Fraiser," she said.

"Hey, Janet," Sam said.

"Sam!" Janet smiled brightly, guiltily remembering what she'd just been doing in the shower. "I was... I was just thinking about you."

"Oh?" Sam said, sounding interested.

"What's up?" Janet smirked into the receiver, hoping to change the subject.

"I was just calling to see what you were wearing today."

Janet frowned. What she was wearing? "What is this, high school? Why do you want to know?"

"Just curious."

Sensing a trap, but unable to decipher the other woman's double meaning, Janet went with the truth. "My dress blues and a lab jacket."

"Great!" Sam said. "Thanks!"

"Wait, what is so important about--"

"I have to go, Janet, sorry. I'll see you at the base."

Janet frowned and looked at the receiver, wondering about her lover's odd question. She hung the phone up and went to finished getting dressed.

 

SGC Infirmary,
Thursday, 10:13am.

Colonel O'Neill, oddly enough, was the one to reveal what Sam's peculiar inquiry was about. He sauntered into the infirmary with his hands clasped behind his back. He was wearing the green jumpsuit that was standard for off-duty team members, but there was something about the look on his face. And, come to think of it, hadn't she seen Siler wearing a green jumpsuit rather than his usual blue?

"Doc," Jack said, eyeing her carefully.

"Colonel," she replied. He looked her over, checking her lapels and scanning her shoes and fingernails. It was like a sleaze in a bar weighing out the pros and cons and she wasn't enjoying it. "Something I can help you with, Sir?"

"Yeah," he said. He reached out and pinched her upper arm. Hard.

"Ow!" she said, pulling away from him and bringing her hand up to the injured area. "What are you doing?!"

"No green, Doc. It is tradition."

"Tradition?"

"St. Paddy's Day, lass," he said, picking up a truly awful Irish accent. "You know that Irish doc assigned last week, what's-his-name... Beckett?"

"He's Scottish, Sir."

"Yeah, whatever. Have you seen him?"

"No, Sir."

"I have it on good authority he's not wearing green, either." He winked at her and said, "Do yourself a favor. Davis is upstairs handing out four-leaf clover pins to the unfortunate souls who have to be in full uniform."

"Hammond's allowing that?"

"Yeah," Jack growled. "He actually needed one. The one day of the year I'm actually allowed to pinch him." He sighed and jerked his head around. "Beckett? Is that you?!"

"Ai, no," a Scottish voice cried from deeper in the infirmary. O'Neill darted off in pursuit of the poor newbie. Janet put down her file and pondered Sam's phone call that morning. The Major had something planned, that much was certain. Janet chewed her bottom lip and headed for her office. She just might have something that would turn the tables on her sly lover.

 

SGC Infirmary,
Thursday, 12:22pm

Sam leaned into the infirmary, careful not to cross the threshold until she saw where Janet was. She spotted the diminutive doctor a few feet away, her back turned to the door. She was, as promised, in her usual dress uniform. Sam smiled wickedly. Even Siler had been smart enough to wear green. Hammond had gotten a clover-leaf pin from Davis and it seemed like everyone on the base was prepared.

Everyone except for Janet, that is. Janet, who didn't think such juvenile traditions would be carried out on a professional military base. Janet, who was wearing her uniform like a good little soldier. Sweet, lovely, unsuspecting, innocent Janet. Sam grinned again and stepped into the infirmary. She crossed the room in a few quick steps and blocked Janet's body with her own. Making sure no one was around, she closed her index finger and thumb around the fleshy cheek of Janet's ass, pinching it hard.

"Ow!" Janet yelped, jumping almost twice her height. She spun around, eyes wide, mouth open in a shocked "O." She exhaled sharply, moving one hand to her ass and rubbing the sting away. "Sam! What the hell do you think you're doing?!"

"Happy Saint Patrick's Day!" Sam grinned. "You're not wearing green. The tradition is..."

Janet pushed Sam back, next to an empty bed. She turned and made sure the coast was clear. She also pulled the curtain closer before she began lifting up her lab jacket. She bunched the white material up around her waist, and then very slowly began to hike up her skirt. Sam's eyes widened at the top of Janet's nylons, her tongue darted out to wet her lip at the exposure of creamy white thighs... and she gasped at the revelation of sea-foam green panties.

Janet looked over her shoulder and said, "See? I'm wearing green."

"I... I-I..."

The doctor turned, dropping her clothing back into place. She arched an eyebrow and said, "Now, Sam. Everyone knows the penalty for not wearing green. But do you know the penalty for an unjustified pinch?"

Sam could only shake her head.

"Oh, lassy," Janet said, her Irish accent much more passable than O'Neill's. "I'll have ta be schoolin' ya on it now, will I?"

 

Dr. Janet Fraiser's Office,
Thursday, 1:01pm.

Sam brushed her hair out of her face and fell back onto the desk, wiping the sweat from her forehead and letting her toes uncurl naturally. Janet kissed her way up Sam's body, pausing on a nipple, on a mole and finally finding her mouth. "So," she asked against her lover's lips. "Are you going to be more careful about pinching me next year?"

"If this is the punishment?" Sam asked. "Hell no!"


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