Naughty & Nice

Author: Geonn

Email: neil_j_miser@yahoo.com

Rating: NC-17

Pairings: Sam/Janet

Category: Humor Disclaimer: Not mine. None of it. I even borrowed the letters that make up the words. Series: The Ampersand Series

What Came Before: Life & Death, Search & Rescue, Forgive & Forget, Hide & Seek, Light & Dark, Now & Then, True & False, Cookies & Cream, Love & War, Flesh & Blood, Hours & Minutes, Wine & Roses

Summary: Sam has a holiday treat for her lovely doctor...


Sam bunched her skirt up as she slipped her cargo pants up. This caused her to have a severely mis-shapen mid-section, but she didn't care; it was better than riding through town on her Indian getting stares and freezing her ass off. She pulled her leather jacket from the locker and slipped into it as she kicked the door shut.

The door to the lockers opened and Dr. Amy Roth entered, already unbuttoning her uniform blouse. She smiled when she saw the major and sat in front of her own locker. "Hey, Major Carter," the doctor said. "What're your plans for tonight?"

Sam closed the front of her jacket, hoping the other woman hadn't noticed her attire. "Um... just... heading home. Sleeping until tomorrow."

"It's ungodly," Amy sighed, tossing her shirt into her locker. "Working until 0330 on Christmas Eve..."

Sam smiled. "I guess it's partially our fault."

Amy's eyes widened. "Oh! Oh, no, I wasn't blaming you guys." SG-1 had been late returning from their latest mission, causing the medical staff to stay behind and wait to give them their standard post-mission examinations. The raven-haired woman smiled and slipped into a regular plaid shirt. As she buttoned it, she said, "You know, you and Jan-- Dr. Fraiser - are welcome to come over and spend the holidays with me and 'Lotte."

Charlotte Parker was Dr. Amy Roth's live-in lover. Hammond and most everyone else at the SGC was in the dark regarding the relationship, but Sam and Janet had been very involved with the two getting together.

Sam zipped up her jacket and said, "Thanks for the offer, but I think we're staying in most of the day. My dad said he'd try to convince Selmak of the importance of this holiday and stop by... We haven't heard word yet, though." She thought of the alien residing in Roth's mind and asked, "How is Natoris dealing with the holidays?"

Amy rolled her eyes. "Don't ask. Every five damn minutes, it's 'what is this, what is that'... It's like living with a three-year old with an amazing vocabulary." Her voice suddenly deepend and she intoned, "A three-year old who saved your life." Amy blinked, shaking her head and looking flustered. "Sorry. Didn't mean to go into Natoris mode on you."

Sam smiled and moved to the door. "I'll see you in 2002, Dr. Roth," she said, since SG-1 wasn't scheduled for another mission until the third of January.

"Um, Sam?" The doctor asked.

"Uh-huh?" Sam turned, now just eager to get out of there.

Roth indicated the major's ballooning pants. "Are you... putting on some pounds?"

Sam smiled a toothy grin and said, "Ho, ho, ho." She stepped into the hallway, letting the door swing slowly shut behind her.

---

Sam quietly walked her bike into the garage, hoping she wouldn't disturb the women sleeping inside. She knelt, digging in a box of tools until she found the three gifts they had hidden for Cassie. She then opened the fuse box and withdrew the one small present she had hidden from Janet. Setting all of the beautifully-wrapped presents on a workbench, she quietly stripped out of her pants and jacket, opening the back door of Janet's car and placing them on the back seat. She knelt next to the driver's side mirror and examined her make-up.

The eyeshadow needed a touch-up, so she pulled out a small handbag and reapplied a little of the crystal blue powder. Squinting, she couldn't tell if her lips were blue from the lipstick or the cold ride home. Finally, she ran a hand through her hair and smiled at her reflection. She straightened, looking down at her outfit.

It was a low-cut red dress with white fur running along the top. She adjusted the underwire, hoping it helped accentuate her chest. The skirt was flared slightly so that even the most limited motion of her hips revealed the red panties below. The entire outfit was topped off with a pair of green knee-high boots and a Santa hat that she withdrew from the bag on the side of her bike. Satisfied that the look was complete, she picked up the packages and headed into the house.

Christmas music was playing softly on a CD player, the kitchen lit with only a single candle. Sam approached and saw a small, white card propped against the stereo. In the blonde's handwriting, the note read: "Be sure to stay up for Santa!" Sam held back a cry of relief. She had been nervous about this plan from the beginning; afraid she was being too silly. She turned and moved through the kitchen door to the living room. A plate - one of Janet's finest China dishes - sat on the hearth before a roaring fire, a glass of milk sitting next to it. Janet had written her own note and placed it atop the cookies: "For Santa only. Don't touch Sam!"

The blonde supressed a giggle and looked at the couch. The doctor was laying on the cushions, her back to the kitchen door, curled up under a shawl. Sam sighed, then moved to the cookies. She laid the presents near the tree and picked up a gingersnap. 'My favorite,' she mused as she took a bite. "Why, Santa," came a sleep-weary voice from the couch. Sam turned to see the brunette rubbing her eyes. "I believe you've gone on a diet."

Sam stood, still nibbling on her cookie. "Actually, Santa got caught up in Ohio... He asked me to deliver to Colorado. Do you mind?" She knelt next to her lover, looking up into Janet's sleepy gaze.

"Oh, no," Janet whispered, running her hands through Sam's hair. "It's just what I wanted." She smiled. "Hi, honey."

Sam whispered, "Bonjour, ma petite..."

"French?" the doctor queried.

"Yeah," Sam laughed. "The world we just got back from spoke a French dialect. Two years in high school made me, in Colonel O'Neill's words, an expert."

Janet raised one russet eyebrow. "I know something you're more expert at."

Sam grinned and lowered her head, lightly kissing the doctor at the juncture of her collarbones. Janet smiled and leaned back. "Yep... that would be it." Sam raised her head and gently pushed aside the cloak Janet had been sleeping under. The doctor was wearing a thermal undershirt with three buttons leading up to the neck. Two of the three were undone. Slowly, Sam undid the third and spread the material apart, wishing her lover had worn something a little easier to slowly ease out of. Janet rested her head on the back of the couch, her half-closed eyes turning to the tree. She saw the presents were in place and smiled.

Without warning the brunette, Sam moved her lips down and found the nipple through the thickness of Janet's shirt. Her lips and tongue moved with the knowledge only a long-time lover would have, her tongue lightly swabbing the area and rolling over the erect bud of the doctor's nipple. Janet bit her lower lip, letting her eyelids close completely as Sam switched breasts. As her tongue worked overtime, the blonde flattened her palms against the brunette's thighs and slowly slipped upward. Sam was relieved to find Janet wasn't wearing underwear.

Janet quietly moaned, then whispered, "Why, Mrs. Clause... what would Santa say?"

Sam closed her teeth around Janet's nipple, tasting her lover's flesh below the cotton as she said, "Ho, ho, ho."

Janet laughed, then raised her hand and covered her mouth to avoid waking Cassie. "Ooh, Sam... maybe we should move this somewhere more private..."

"Can't," Sam hummed against the other woman's excited flesh. She raised her head, moving her hands to Janet's sides and gently lowering the doctor to the cushions.

Janet protested as Sam started to lift the mediocre covering of her thermal undershirt. "Sam, wait... Cassie..."

"Is upstairs... asleep... please, Janet." She crawled onto the couch, her Santa hat in disarray and the thin shoulder straps of her dress riding on her upper arms. The shirt was now bunched around Janet's bare breasts, her nipples straining upward in the flickering firelight. Sam scooted forward, pressing one hot thigh against her lover's center. Janet bit her lip and closed her eyes, gently rubbing along the familiar flesh of the blonde's thigh.

Sam's heart was pounding as she reached behind herself and gently lowered the zipper. The material fell away from her chest and Janet groped at it, pulling it down and hungrily examining the already-memorized expanse of bare skin. There wasn't time for her to stand up and completely remove the Santa outfit... and even if there had been, neither woman would have been able to extract herself for the time necessary.

Gently, Janet raised herself up as Sam lowered herself. Their breasts met in the middle, weighing against each other. Lightly, Sam kissed each of her lover's closed eyelids, letting her tongue flicker over the brunette's sweat-dotted forehead. Their lips met as if magnetically charged, their tongues dancing past each other to roll and tease in the warm confines. When they broke apart for air, Sam kept her lips tightly pressed against Janet's and whispered, "God... it's been four and a half years... how do you still make me feel this way?"

Janet licked the blonde's questioning lips, moving to kiss a trail along the taller woman's jawline. "I could ask you the same thing, beautiful."

They kissed deeply, Janet pausing and putting a hand on each of Sam's shoulders. Sam closed her eyes and let the doctor take over; they had done this a few times before. Slowly, Janet inhaled through her nose and exhaled into Sam's parted lips. Sam accepted the air, pulling apart and holding her breath for a second. Then, opening her eyes, she pressed her lips against Janet's and returned the breath to her. Both women shivered during the ritual, then collapsed against each other.

Janet let one hand trace down Sam's spine, skipping over the bundle of clothing around the blonde's hips, and found the elastic band of her lover's costume panties. She let her nimble fingers find their way inside and slip between the round cheeks of Sam's ass. Sam pulled back, looking into Janet's eyes as their lips met. Janet kept eye contact with her lover as she circled the ring of sensitive flesh with the pad of her index finger. She could feel the rise and fall of Sam's breasts against her own; the blonde was on the verge of hyperventilating.

They touched tongues as Janet finally penetrated the tight hole. Sam whimpered into her lover's mouth; they had only done this once before, on Deauna while under the influence of the local liquor. Janet pulled back slightly, whispering, "Are you okay?"

Sam nodded and closed her eyes as one of Janet's delicate fingers gently sank deeper into her anal cavity. Sam's jaw dropped, her shoulders rising and head craning to the right. Janet felt the muscles clench around her invading finger and just as slowly withdrew it. Sam sighed, her eyebrows arching in either disappointment or relief. Janet pressed her lips to the corner of Sam's mouth. "Did I hurt you?"

Quietly, as if not wanting to admit it, Sam replied, "Yes, a little... I just need to get used to it." She kissed Janet's lips once more. "I want to get used to it with you."

Janet accepted Sam's probing tongue, their lips moving together in an exquisite symphony. She moved her hand, taking her finger from the soft ring and cupped one of Sam's rounded rear cheeks before sliding down between the blonde's lithe legs and feeling the warmth and wetness greet her. Sam bit Janet's tongue gently, thrusting down against the brunette's hand. The blonde apparently decided that turnabout was fair play as Janet suddenly felt the oval pad of Sam's index finger glance off of her clitoris. She whimpered into the blonde's mouth, begging for more than a fleeting contact.

The Christmas CD playing in the kitchen, they realized, was now playing the extraordinarily appropriate "All I Want For Christmas Is You."

Sam released Janet's lips and began to kiss the tanned column of her lover's neck. They held each other tightly, Janet whispering various accolades as Sam explored every well-traveled inch of skin. Their fingers performed a ballet between their entwined legs, moving in perfect concert with each other. As climax approached, Sam brushed her fingers along the slit of Janet's sex, wetting her fingers. She drew the hand up, examining her three wet digits in the firelight before painting them along the doctor's parted lips. Janet smiled during the application, then repeated the process on Sam's lips. They refrained from kissing and kept themselves from licking their lips.

They simply looked at each other with their cum-moistened mouths. Finally, Janet cupped one elegant hand at the back of Sam's head. Sam repeated the motion, holding Janet's head ever-so-lightly in her hand. As their lips drew closer and closer, Janet whispered, "You want some French, honey? Je t'aime, Samantha. Je t'aime." She thrust three fingers of her free hand into Sam's sex as their lips touched.

Sam cried out, her eyes flickering open before her tongue dropped into the brunette's eager mouth. The unexpected intrustion, plus the lovely murmur of Janet's whispered proclaimation had pushed the major over the edge. Her hips were involuntarily thrusting as she came, covering Janet's hand and lap with her juices. Janet made a quiet 'mmm' as she began to crest, her lower body quaking beneath Sam. The blonde moved both hands up, cupping the brunette's face and gently separating their faces. Sam took a deep breath before she leaned back down. They kissed three more times before they could finally stay apart.

"What time is it?" Janet whispered, her voice husky. Sam glanced at the wall clock. "God... Almost six."

"Six?" Janet gasped. She cursed, reluctantly sliding out from beneath her lover's legs. She took Sam's hand and led the blonde upstairs.

Sam smiled at the sight; Janet, her shirt still bunched around her breasts was running up the stairs with thighs wet from very recent sex. She was followed by a blushing blonde with a Santa suit hanging around her midsection. They made it to their bedroom and closed the door without Cassie seeing them. Sam turned the lock and immediately felt Janet's hands winding around her hips. The brunette was pressing against her back, her lips nuzzling the soft skin at the back of her neck. Pausing in her oral exploration, Janet whispered, "Why'd you lock the door?"

"So Cassandra doesn't walk in on this," Sam grunted, turning and grabbing her lover by the hips. Before the doctor had time to protest, she was airborne, flying towards the bed. She landed on the mattress with a loud *thump!* and tried to orient herself. She didn't have time, however, as Sam was already on top of her. Their lips were melded in a burning kiss, Sam's fingers moving to extract Janet's arms from the sleeves of her shirt.

Janet fingered the soft material of Sam's Santa suit and in a throaty grumble, asked, "Is this rented?"

Sam nodded, then answered with a throaty, "Yess."

The doctor pressed a kiss to Sam's throat, feeling the strong pulse of the blonde's heartbeat throb below her lips as she tore the dress and tossed it aside. "Too damn bad."

Sam rolled onto one side, eagerly removing the boots and kicking them off the side of the bed. Janet, meanwhile, pulled the undershirt over her head and gripped it tightly in one hand. She slipped it around Sam's head, using it to pull the blonde up into another probing kiss. As their lips and tongues tangled, Janet wound the material into a long rope and took one of Sam's hands. She carefully wound the shirt around the wrist and raised it to the headboard. Her eyes found Sam's, asking permission.

The blonde was at a loss for words. She had never been with a lover who tied her up... nor had she ever trusted one as completely as she did Janet. She nodded slowly, biting her lip and watching as Janet looped the shirt around the headboard. Sam was relieved to see the only action necessary for her to escape was a simple tug of her wrists.

Once Sam was safely secured, Janet began to blaze a trail down the prone woman's body. She planted herself on the major's firm belly, their eyes locking in a fleeting glance before the doctor continued downward. She placed a finger on each of Sam's nipples, pushing them down and watching them spring back to life when she removed her hand. Scooting lower on the bound woman's body, Janet found herself seated on her lover's upper thighs. She traced a finger through the sheen of sweat that had accumulated on Sam's stomach, dipping into her navel before traveling down to the downy patch of blonde hair between the taller woman's legs.

Janet lifted her finger to her lips, slowly exploring the salty taste of Sam's sweat. Finally, she moved her hands to the crux of Sam's thighs and raised herself up. Sam spread her limbs slowly, exposing herself to the chocolate gaze of the doctor. Janet carefully ran the tip of her tongue across her lower lip. "Very... nice," she whispered.

She looked up, locking eyes with Sam once more. In the pre-dawn light filtering through their window, Janet could have sworn that the major's irises had become brown. She blinked, leaning forward. With a smile, she realized that the major's pupils were dilated, her breathing shallow. Blonde hair clung to her forehead and cheeks like they had been plastered to the flesh. Janet relaxed between the blonde's legs once more, bringing one hand to her lips and engulfing three digits, running her tongue over them as she kept eye contact with the major.

Slipping the wetted fingers from her mouth, Janet placed the tips of the first two against Sam's wet core. Sam whispered, "Juh..." She swallowed, closing her eyes. "Je t'aime, my darling." The doctor thrust her fingers into the blonde, burying them to the first knuckle. Sam arched her back, her entire upper body losing contact with the mattress. "Je t'aime," Sam gasped. "Je t'aime, je t'aime, je t'aime!" She collapsed once more, thrusting her hips against Janet's hand.

The lovely doctor slowly pumped into her lover, using her thumb to draw circles around the engorged clitoris. Rolling her head on the pillow, her eyes tightly screwed shut, Sam half-panted, half-grunted, "Je t'aime, je t'aime, je... je... God, Janet, God... God, I love you, I love you I love you I love you I LOVE YOU!" With the last gasp, she ripped her hands free from the shirt and immediately clasped her hands around Janet's head. She moaned, "I love you," before swallowing the doctor's lips in a ravenous kiss. Janet continued to thrust until she felt the warm gush of juice coating her hand and forearm.

Sam's body trembled long after the orgasm and she collapsed on the bed, pulling Janet's back to her breasts. They spooned in the afterglow, knowing that soon they would be bombarded by the Christmas explosion of Jack and the team, of Cassandra and Teal'c, of dogs and presents and eggnog and mistletoe. They simply held each other, their bodies sated and their bodies covered with perspiration.

Sam kissed the back of Janet's neck and she finally rested her chin on the younger woman's shoulder. "Honey?"

"Mmm?"

"Did you... I mean, did you... finish at all?"

Janet grinned. "I did, love."

Sam brushed the backs of her fingers along her lover's stomach, stopping at the pubic bush before rising up to encircle her navel. "I love you, Janet."

"I love you, too, Sam. More than life." She turned her head to face Sam. "Merry Christmas."

They kissed gently, no tongues or requests to go further with the kiss. They finally moved apart and Janet rested her head on one of Sam's breasts, her eyes closing as soon as she relaxed. A few second later, the soft snore that Sam had grown to adore began to rise from the petite woman. Sam pressed her lips to Janet's bare shoulder and pulled the blanket over their exhausted bodies. It might not be long before Cassie woke them... but they would relish whatever time they did have.

~End~


Smoke & Mirrors

Geonn

Stargate SG1

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