Title: It’s Enough

Author: Chosentwo4381

Email: chosentwo4381@yahoo.com

Rating: PG

Summary: Cordy reflects on a bus ride home.

Pairing: C/F

Disclaimer: I don’t own these characters, the great and wonderful Joss, not to mention several other people that are all not me do own all the rights to them. I don’t own the song that’s in here either. It belongs to Ani Difranco.

Author’s Notes: This is once again unbeta’d. As usual [blah] indicates lyrics.

Cordelia’s POV

I’m on my way back from Sunnydale. Who’d have thunk it; Cordelia Chase on a Greyhound. So much for Queen C and her horse and carriage, or even horseless carriage. The only good thing about this trip is that Faith is waiting for me at the end of it. At least I guess that’s a good thing. We’ve had some issues lately. I think it’s because we both have some unresolved self esteem issues. Don’t look at me like that. All those barbs and the bitchiness in high school? I’m a textbook case. So when the Powers That Be sent me a vision about a big bad in my literal hellhole of a hometown, I went, even though I probably could have just called. I needed away time.

[How can I go home
With nothing to say
I know you’re going to look at me that way
And say what did you do out there
And what did you decide
You said you needed time
And you had time]

The thing about me and Faith is that she and Angel both get into these ‘woe is me I used to be evil and now I feel bad about it’ broody moods and start getting pissy because the rest of the Angel Investigations crew attempts to cheer them up. But with Faith, if it’s just the two of us she lets her guard down and the smallest thing can break her. I love her, but I wonder if it’s enough.

[You are a china shop
And I am a bull
You are really good food
And I am full
I guess everything is timing
I guess everything’s been said
So I am coming home with an empty head]

It should be enough, I know that much. Nobody could ever love me as much as she does and as unconditionally. She has such complete, pardon the pun, faith in me that I sometime wonder if I should let her go before I can disappoint her. Those self esteem issues rearing their ugly head again.

Finally this ride is over and I can get the hell off this bus. As I step off I’m looking for her and when I see her our eyes lock. I feel like I’m in a slow motion sequence in a bad romantic comedy as we move toward each other. She pulls me into her arms and despite the fact that it’s late at night, even for us, and we’re at a bus station in a really bad part of LA, I feel safer than I ever have before.

“I missed you so much Cor,” she whispers into the crook of my neck. I feel hot, wet tears falling onto my blouse, and I realize even as I comfort her, whispering soothing nonsense into her ear, burying my nose in those dark tresses that I’m so enamored of, that just as much as I’ll never find someone that can love me as much as she does, I’ll also never find anyone that I’ll love as much as I love her.

We separate and immediately I miss the warmth and comforting solidity of her lithe body against mine. She wipes her face, attempting to eradicate any trace of tears, then she grabs my suitcase in one hand and twining the fingers of the other with mine, she leads me toward the car.

“How did you convince Angel to lend you his car?”

“Told him that if he didn’t say yes I’d hotwire it and take it anyway.”

“Effective,” I smirked at our vampiric boss’ misfortune.

“How’d things go in the ‘dale? Did they treat you okay?” she drawls anxiously.

“They were civil, not much different from high school, just a little less bitchy because I get the visions that could help save their asses.” She just chuckles at the idea of sanctimonious Buffy Summers having to kiss my ass.

[You’ll say did they love you or what
I’ll say they love what I do
The only one who really loves me is you
And you say girl did you kick some butt
I’ll say I don’t really remember
But my fingers are sore
And my voice is too

You’ll say it’s really good to see you
You’ll say I missed you horribly
You’ll say let me carry that
Give that to me
And you will take the heavy stuff
And you will drive the car
And I’ll look out the window and make jokes
About the way things are]

We drive in silence back to our place, I can tell she’s worried that time apart convinced me that we were over, but she doesn’t want to ask in case I haven’t decided yet. I honestly don’t know if we’ll make it in the long run, who really can know, but right now I love her and she loves me and that enough.

[How can I go home
With nothing to say
I know you’re going to look at me that way
And say what did you do out there
And what did you decide
You said you needed time
And you had time]



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